As the saying goes, it is difficult for a clean official to break off family affairs, such as the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, not only the authorities are confused, but also the onlookers are helpless, and can only rely on the mother-in-law and the three men to mediate.
The new writer Gong Gaofeng wrote in "Father's BlackFish": "Daughter-in-law and mother-in-law are natural enemies of each other, do not know how the Creator designed, a generation of mother-in-law and a generation of daughters-in-law, children and grandchildren are infinitely poor." ”
If you want to deal with the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, you not only need men to give strength, not to mother-in-law, not to help relatives, to mediate between both sides, to try their best to make them get along harmoniously, but also to have a mother-in-law and daughter-in-law who are reasonable, have a grateful heart, and know that they will receive when they see good.
In fact, as described in the sentence Ten Years of Seeing Mother-in-Law and Ten Years of Seeing Daughter-in-Law, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is also causal.
Hu Shi said: "If we want to reap the good fruits of the future, we must strive to plant new causes for the present. One grain after another will be harvested in a full house. ”
When encountering a mother-in-law and daughter-in-law who do not have three views and a mountain that is difficult to tolerate two tigers, there is only a way to maintain the distance of a bowl of soup and ensure that the well water does not violate the river water. However, this trick may usually work, as soon as the New Year is encountered, the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are under a roof, and there may be conflicts again, affecting family harmony.
I asked a few married women, mentioned the New Year, they want to complain about their mother-in-law, and even told me that it is difficult for them to put down these mustards, it is difficult to think that these things have not happened, the mother-in-law does not want to deal with them when she is old, pretending to be generous to them, just because the mother-in-law is too much, let them celebrate the New Year like a robbery.
During the Chinese New Year, if you treat your daughter-in-law with 3 attitudes, don't want her to treat you well in the future.
1, you married my son, you must go back to my home for the New Year, don't want to take my son's money to spend on the mother's family;
"If it weren't for my husband's strength, his help, his full support for me, and his mother for me, my marriage might have collapsed." Even so, I don't want to forgive my mother-in-law, at most, when she is old, I look at her husband's face, find a reliable home for her, or ask someone to help take care of it, let me do it myself, I can't do it. ”
The reason why Ms. Ding is so angry with her mother-in-law is because her mother-in-law prevents her from honoring her parents. It turned out that Ms. Ding's mother was sick and hospitalized, and her father called her daughter, hoping that her daughter could accompany her mother during the New Year, she was her mother's most beloved child, and Ms. Ding certainly had no objection.
After the husband learned about his mother-in-law, he didn't say a word, and bought a ticket for his wife and children to go back: "If it weren't for the fact that the first day of the New Year happened to be my mother's birthday, I wouldn't be there, and I would accompany you back." ”
The husband bought some gifts and gave Ms. Ding a sum of money to let Ms. Ding go back to accompany her mother-in-law. The husband is very reasonable, but the mother-in-law is very unreasonable, learned that Ms. Ding mother and son are not back, seven or eight phone calls a day to Ms. Ding, but also keep sending messages, turning over and over on two meanings, first, you married my son, you must go back to my house for the New Year, second, you are my daughter-in-law, for the sake of my family, don't want to take my son's money to spend on the mother's family.
"What does it mean that I have to go back to my in-laws' house for the New Year?" I married her son, not sold it to her family, so why can't I go back to honor my parents? I also work to make money, the salary is not lower than my husband, besides, the money is also my husband took the initiative to give me, he is willing to honor my parents, my mother-in-law made up for what? ”
Ms. Ding originally wanted to reason with her mother-in-law, but as soon as the phone was connected, the mother-in-law came up with a crackling and constantly stopping reason, which made Ms. Ding feel very angry. Fortunately, the husband learned of this matter and trained his mother: "I asked my wife to go back, and there was a problem with me." ”
Get along with your daughter-in-law, and do not interfere with your daughter-in-law's normal filial piety to your mother-in-law.) If the daughter-in-law is a brother-in-law, and you take the joint property of the husband and wife or the money of the in-laws' family to help the mother-in-law's family, it is reasonable for you to prevent or even ask your son to divorce her who is confused. However, it is a matter of course for children to honor their parents, and it is also the duty of a daughter-in-law.
Think about it from another position, if your daughter-in-law does not regard you as an elder, stops your son from filial piety for her own interests, and lets your son not care whether you live or die, can you tolerate such a daughter-in-law? For parents, children are the greatest anti-scale, and for children with conscience, parents are also their anti-scales, and they cannot tolerate others being disrespectful, nor can they tolerate others to hinder their filial piety.
2, the daughter-in-law returned, there is a free nanny at home, my son can rest;
Compared with Ms. Ding, Ms. Luo's situation is worse, she not only has an unreasonable mother-in-law, but also a husband who is lazy and lazy and does not help her relatives.
Ms. Luo returned to her in-laws' house with her husband three days ago, and before the New Year, she was already angry and counted the faults of her husband and mother-in-law with me.
First, without his consent, the husband directly bought a high-speed rail ticket for a family of three, and then, one mouth rejected Ms. Luo's proposal to celebrate the New Year on the spot, ordering Ms. Luo to pack up her things and return to her in-laws' house for the New Year.
Second, when the husband returned home, he began to linger at the mahjong table, and went out to drink with others, and came back drunk for two consecutive nights, vomiting on the ground, and asking Ms. Luo to clean up.
Third, the mother-in-law opened her mouth and closed her mouth is "doing housework is a woman's business, my son is doing big things, who can do housework", and what is more excessive is that she herself has become a hand-throwing treasurer, and the task of the day is to direct Ms. Luo to do housework, let Ms. Luo clean up, procure New Year goods, and cook for the people in the family.
"Why do I hate going back to my in-laws' house for the New Year?" Why did my mother-in-law get divorced as soon as she mentioned that she wanted to come to my house for the elderly? It is because in my mother-in-law's eyes, I am a free nanny. Only with her, my days are in the midst of robbery. ”
Tu Lei said that the best relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law: between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, between mother-in-law and son-in-law, we must do two sentences, regard it as our own care, and treat each other as guests.
Regard as your own love, that is, your son is a son, and the daughter of others is also pregnant in October, why do you say that my son I pulled the big one, although the people are two pulling big, it is also the flesh that fell from the body, you have to hurt two as much, and even more pain to your own daughter-in-law. The heart should be treated as a relative, but it must be done as a guest.
The daughter of the parents who was pregnant in October and raised for more than 20 years married your son, not only did not get the happiness and respect that should be there, but also wanted to become a free nanny for your family, summoned by you, not respected, and even humiliated, which woman is willing? She marries your son, figure what?
The combination of the evil mother-in-law and the mother-in-law is the family that women are most afraid of encountering, and few women can survive.
As the saying goes, it is not that the time has not come, but that the mother-in-law who hopes to find trouble with her daughter-in-law will remember this sentence. If you bully your daughter-in-law and your son does nothing, you may ruin the marriage. Your son wants to remarry, and the girl knows the reason for his divorce, as long as the girl is a little more sensible, she will not agree.
3, the grandson should give more money, eat well, and the granddaughter will make up to deal with it.
"This year, I don't have to worry about who to go back to for the New Year, because I'm divorced."
Ms. Fang, who has been married to her husband for 7 years, divorced last year, and her marriage was ruined by her mother-in-law's preference for sons and daughters.
Ms. Fang's mother-in-law has two sons, the eldest son, Ms. Fang's ex-husband, has only one daughter, and the younger son has a son and a daughter, Ms. Fang's mother-in-law treats her grandson as a treasure, treats her granddaughter as a grass, and blatantly treats her granddaughter in front of Ms. Fang.
"Grandson red envelope 500, granddaughter red envelope 10 yuan, this I will not say, after all, it is her own money, to whom she has the final say." However, on the day of Chinese New Year's Eve night, I spent an afternoon and personally cooked a table of dishes, my daughter ate a chicken leg, she directly took it away to her grandson, and scolded my daughter for being mean and hungry. ”
Ms. Fang is also a violent temper, usually will quarrel with her husband for the eccentric behavior of her mother-in-law, not to mention that the mother-in-law stepped on her bottom line and bullied her daughter? Therefore, Ms. Fang did not say a word, smashed Chinese New Year's Eve meal, dragged her daughter back to her mother's house, and soon divorced her husband, who forced her to go back to her in-laws' house and apologize to her mother-in-law in front of everyone.
The writer Zweig said: All the gifts of fate are secretly marked with prices. You have to exchange it in another way, or pay it back.
The woman is soft, the mother is just, the mother-in-law is also the mother, and it is more important to understand the feelings of the daughter-in-law as a mother, so she should not step on the reverse scales of the daughter-in-law, and should not treat the grandchildren differently. You are not too good for your daughter-in-law, perhaps, your daughter-in-law can tolerate three points for the sake of the family and everything, for the feelings of her husband, but once you touch the bottom line of the child, you can't stand it as a mother. And your son is caught in the middle, and it's not good.
The contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is sharp, and the most painful thing is that men, either separated from their wives and children, or make their parents sad. For the sake of his son, for the sake of his happiness in his old age, he will add less to his daughter-in-law.
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Today's topic: During the New Year, what is your mother-in-law doing that you can't accept the most? Feel free to share your views in the comments section.