It's about to be the New Year, and it's a beautiful day for the family to be together, which is really what the people are looking forward to! But some of them are both expectant and panicked, they are single older youths. After they go home, they will face all kinds of marriage urging, will face all kinds of inquiries and concerns, and may also face endless blind dates, it is estimated that they have not yet returned home, and they have begun to think about how to deal with these problems.
In the uncle's view, marriage is not in a hurry, and it should not be anxious, but should be cautious to face, according to their own reality to choose a suitable person, choose a person who matches themselves in all aspects. If you are forced by the pressure of the world, you hurriedly choose a person who is not suitable for you, then the future married life will most likely be very bad, there will be no happiness to speak of, but it is not as comfortable as living alone.
Why are we getting married? Most of the time it is for the sake of succession, and most of the time it is to alleviate the pressure of the world. Many people marry not because they want to live with a certain person, but to fulfill the expectations of their parents, in order to block the mouths of the people, in order to avoid those endless inquiries and concerns, so they will choose to marry a person who looks similar.
Therefore, in real life, most people's marriages are mostly unhappy, and people think that unhappy marriages are perfectly normal, and if you think about it, marriage is still quite sad.
Today I saw a news on the Internet, there is a couple who gave birth to a baby not long ago, began to divorce, the relationship between the two is very stiff, it is estimated that relatives and friends can not drink the baby's full moon wine, their husband and wife are estimated to be separated.
The wife and her family look down on the husband, think that he has no ability and no money, say that he is a, and say that he is a man who only eats soft rice, and her family very fiercely urges him to divorce his wife. In the face of accusations from his wife and her family, the husband silently does not make any rebuttals or justifications, indicating that the reality is indeed as they say.
In the uncle's view, this marriage was a mistake at the beginning, because "the door is not right", such a marriage is doomed to not last, the ancients often said that marriage should be the door to the door is right. The so-called door-to-door pair not only refers to the matching of economic and social status, but more importantly, the matching of ability and thinking. Otherwise, it is impossible for husband and wife to treat each other equally and objectively, and if husband and wife cannot have an equal dialogue, there will be a lack of awareness and concept of equality, and it is strange that such a marriage will not have problems.
Most people treat themselves as tolerant, treat others harshly, and often demand others according to their own standards, always hoping that others can act according to their own will, especially those close to themselves always hope that he can be at his mercy. But the reality is often the opposite of what is desired, the difference between human personality and the original ecological family, it is impossible to achieve this wish, and people have independent will and autonomous consciousness.
In married life, you will often have some scenes, some people are always arrogant, the ideas he expressed can never tolerate the other half to question, nor allow the other half to have their own ideas, no matter what the other half does, he asks the other half to act according to his own will, if the other half does not act according to his own wishes, he will be insulted, even violent. The reason why this situation occurs is not because the person is very bad in his heart, but because the door is not right, because the person has always been in a psychologically advantageous position.
The person who was forced to obey, although he was angry, could not change this reality, and could only seek perfection. But over time, neglected resentments will one day erupt, and when that resentment erupts, that's when their marriage goes bankrupt. Or maybe he was at the mercy of others all his life and finally left this world with hatred, but there are few such people.
Marriage needs to be careful, it needs to be a door-to-door pair, otherwise it will be like the couple in the news. One side is domineering, the other is humble like a lamb to be slaughtered, with no personality and no dignity. Such a marriage is neither happy nor happy, what do you want him to do? Uncle can't understand why this is? Such a life is not as good as a beggar who has no place to live, who is like a man who can do as he pleases, but what about him? You can only be forced to make choices, and you are not as good as a dog. alas! Maybe that's what he wants to live!
At the end of the article, the uncle reminds those so-called elders to keep their mouths shut, not to block others, and not to laugh at the older young people who are not yet married. The happiness of life itself has no self, making others happy for a few days is also a virtue, do not eat turnips to fuck eggs, not to mention that your life may not be happier than them alone. Of course, the article is purely personal and for reference only.