There is no one who does not want to have a happy life, but not everyone can really manage their own life.
Love is actually the same, whether it is married to the person you love, or married to the person who loves you, the final result will be a plain life.
Days are made up of chai rice oil and salt, and almost no one in the world is an exception. Immortal companionship is just a fantasy of our good marriage.
However, even in the most ordinary life, some people can live poetry and far away, and some people have turned their lives into a palette overturned by God, a mess of bad.
Marriage, in fact, is not so difficult. Those couples who seem to be in love with each other are only because they have mastered the 3 elements of a happy marriage, but many people do not know it.
01 Proactive
Many people feel that they can take the initiative when they are in love, so they will try their best to pursue the person they like.
However, after entering the marriage, there is a feeling that it is a matter of certainty, since the two people are together, there is no need to pay so much affection.
This is also the most disappointing reason for going from love to marriage, in fact, the real beginning of love is from marriage, getting along day and night, which requires you to come up with thirty-six plans and run it well.
The man who once actively pursued you is no longer active, so in turn your initiative is the same, why do these things have to be done by men?
For example, when he is on a business trip, he gets off the plane and does not call you, then you take the initiative to care about it; for example, when he is working overtime, you can take the initiative to tell him that "the meal is ready, I am waiting for you"...
Never ignore the charm of initiative, which may bring changes to the psychology of the two people.
Often some women will feel "why", he can't accompany me when he works overtime, it should be him who comforts me; he should take the initiative to report what he is doing when he is on a business trip... In fact, there are so many "shoulds" in the relationship.
If you are always waiting for the other party to take the initiative, but have you ever wondered if the other party is also waiting for you to "take the initiative" once?
The surprises in life actually come from some unexpected feelings. If one party always takes the initiative to treat you, and you passively accept, you will lose interest after a long time.
Both men and women should take this problem seriously, knowing that some small changes in life may have a great effect on the feelings of the two people.
Moreover, to do this, it is not so complicated.
02 Pluck
A friend, married for seven or eight years, the husband and wife still feel like they are in love.
For example, once when we went to a shopping mall with their husband and wife, we were about to walk into a store, and a friend's husband went to the bathroom, and when he returned, he happened to meet him head-on.
I wanted to say hello, but my friend came straight up: "Handsome man, is it a person?" Want to invite you to a meal, I don't know if I can appreciate the face? There was also extreme cooperation: "Eating with beautiful women, I can't ask for it." ”
Looking at their serious looks, he laughed and turned the sky upside down. In fact, life is like this, creating freshness for yourself and creating more happiness in all kinds of trivialities.
A routine like this is perfectly normal between friends and couples. From time to time, the two interact and surprise the passers-by around them.
The pressure of life makes us all feel heavy and tired, plus we have to deal with a lot of trivialities in the family, many couples live a life, more and more unaccustomed to each other, more and more speechless.
But what then? If you can't get a divorce, how serious should the harm in this world be?
The days are your own, and you always have to find ways to add some color. Even old husbands and wives can enjoy themselves.
Instead of putting all the energy of the solicitation on the outside of marriage, it is better to spend some effort to stir up your partner, between you and me, the feelings deepen, the marriage is strong, and the children do not have to bear the hurt of the broken family...
Why not? If you impulsively divorce as soon as something happens, you may not be able to remarry after divorce. It is better to painstakingly maintain a marriage that has come halfway, but it is better to seriously manage the marriage you have.
03 Mystery
I once read a writer write that women should maintain a sense of mystery in front of men, such as playing a gypsy girl today, playing a thief tomorrow, and playing a maid the day after tomorrow... If it is true that according to what he said, I am afraid that women are crazy.
But he also explains the fact that there needs to be a little mystery in marriage, don't show all your cards, at the right time, little by little, it will bring unexpected surprises to the marriage.
Zhen Huan in "The Biography of Zhen Huan" is well aware of this, and when she was taking refuge in the Yuanmingyuan, Cao Guiren wanted to make a calculation against her, and deliberately drew a paper sign with "Amazing Dance" written on it.
However, when Zhen Huan danced in front of the emperor, the emperor's eyes were straight. He only knew that Zhen Huan was intelligent and proficient in piano, chess, calligraphy and painting, but he did not expect that Zhen Huan would not only dance, but also dance so well.
He even hoped that Zhen Huan would bring him more surprises.
Therefore, it is not without reason that Zhen Huan can upgrade and fight monsters all the way, people have the confidence and know how to hide clumsiness.
In marriage, some women fall in love with a person, but they want to do everything and show themselves to each other. Even tell him, and tell him over and over again.
The concubine in "Yanxi Raiders" has a deep affection for the emperor, and she has done a lot of things for him, but the emperor treats her normally. She didn't understand why Wei Yongluo was so selfish, but the emperor had a unique affection for her.
Wei Yongluo told her, "You love him so much, why should you let him know, the person who said it has already lost." ”
When the emperor asked Wei Yongluo if she loved him, she replied, "I will answer you with my whole life." ”
Writer Zhang Xianliang said that couples who can grow old with white heads are probably couples who can grasp moderate feelings.
And the best way to love someone is never to desperately be good to him, but to manage himself well and make him feel that what he has is a high-quality lover.
Feelings are not so complicated, really want to run well, but think more carefully, and connect what you need with the other party, as well as what you can give and what the other party needs, so that it is basically barrier-free.
In fact, two people who enter a marriage, who does not want to hold hands for a lifetime?
Knowing this, you will be able to grasp the secret of happiness.
END.