If you want a man to love you more, learn not to love him that much

Recently revisited "Gone with the Wind", sighed: obviously two people who love each other, but can not be honest with each other, but because of various misunderstandings and finally parted ways, in the end, they are the most loved themselves, afraid of being hurt and let down, too cowardly.

Nowadays, the most popular in the market is the big heroine TV series, the basic routine is that the heroine's original life is very ordinary, because she was blackened after being hurt by love, and since then she has been bent on career, life is like an opening and hanging, upgrading and fighting monsters, and finally successfully embarking on the peak of life.

Just as at the end of "Yanxi Raiders", Concubine Xian finally reluctantly asked Wei Yongluo why she could make the emperor love her so much, and where she was inferior to her. Wei Yongluo told her lightly: Because she loves the emperor too much, she will lose. Who loves each other more, who will lose; in "Ruyi Biography", Ruyi, who obviously has the best configuration, is also because he loves the emperor too much, and the last good hand is broken, and after being misunderstood, humiliated, and embarrassed by the emperor again and again, he finally dies in despair; Zhen Huan in "The Biography of Zhen Huan", because he loves the emperor in the first half of his life, innocently treats the emperor as a husband, and after knowing that he was originally used as a substitute by others, he was reborn as a "heartless" Niu Hulu Zhen Huan, and finally succeeded in avenging and killing the emperor to become the empress dowager.

These palace fight dramas are warning women, for men, do not pay sincerity, to learn not to love each other so much, so that the other party will love you more, more inseparable from you.

On the contrary, if you give to the other person sincerely, and do not ask for anything in return and have no purpose, then you will definitely lose.

Recently watched "Love is Delicious", my favorite character is Liu Jing, like the innate "cold" in her, saying that it is sullen, but in fact, it is just a survival law. She is different from Xia Meng, who has longed to be noticed and loved by others since she was a child, nor is it like Fang Xin who has collected thousands of pets from childhood, and the stars hold the moon.

Liu Jing wants to get true love, but not so urgent, this contradiction is reflected in her "tangled" personality, on the one hand, she likes Jiang Shanmu, but she is reluctant to Song Chao's good, hoping to enjoy the good of two people at the same time. When a person is entangled between two people, then she must not love both, Liu Jing is such a girl, essentially the most love for herself, greedily want to have the good of two people at the same time, cruel to others, is a person who is born with a little "cold".

Someone once asked, is there really a person in the world who is born cold? This kind of person is a refined egoist, who loves himself the most, who is unwilling to sleep and forget to eat for others, and hurts his bones. Is it just because you haven't met someone you really care about?

I don't think it's true, this kind of person is born indifferent, don't want their joys and sorrows to be manipulated by others, and don't like to sacrifice their own interests for love, so they will only choose those who are easy to be manipulated by them and pay for them as partners, and they only need to maintain beauty and elegance, and let others love her.

Admittedly, such people are selfish and hateful. But one has to be admired, they are absolutely rational beings.

Throughout the various TV series or historical records of the story, those who meet true love, willing to give everything for each other, silently contribute women, the final end is very tragic, they want to get "love", so do everything to "love" others, but finally can not be exchanged for other people's "love", but ruthless abandonment, and this is human nature - want men to love you more, you have to learn not to love each other so much.

When I deeply realized this, there was no pleasure and pride in the rebirth of those great heroines, but more sighs and helplessness, is this the inferiority of people? To put it more bluntly, are human beings so "despicable"? Obviously, you can be honest and relative, bravely pay your love for each other, and boldly express your heart, but because you are afraid of being disappointed, hurt, and looked down upon, you have to hide your sincerity, want to indulge in men, and firmly control them in your hands. As human beings, it's really sad.

There was once a sentence that my girlfriend told me, she said that she liked someone very much and had a silent crush on him. When one day I find that the other person likes me too, I suddenly become less like the other person.

This sentence of the girlfriend breaks through this "sadness" of human nature. The more people who lack love, when she has a hard time meeting a partner who is good to her and hopes to spend her life together, she begins to pay her sincerity, wholeheartedly marries and teaches her children, takes care of housework, and as a result, in less than a few years, she has exchanged her husband's disgust and abandonment, and proves with actions that the more women who lack love, the more they can't get love.

Only when you are less "loving" of the other person and put more time on yourself, then men will pay more attention to you and are more willing to give time and energy to you, and you will get "love" instead. But for you, you no longer value and need each other's "love" so much.

This is the greatest sorrow of mankind. Just as in "Gone with the Wind", the heroine Guo Scarlett has always liked Ashley, even after the other party has a wife and children, this love does not decrease but increases, and finally when Ashley's wife Melanie dies, she can have Ashley again, but finds that she no longer loves each other so much, it turns out that she has always loved her husband Red; more ironically, Red has always loved Guo Scarlett, and has done a lot of things for her, but she has never dared to tell the other party her heart, because she is afraid of being used by Scarlett Hao. He knew that Scarlett was the kind of selfish woman who, once she knew that others loved her, would unscrupulously use the love of others for her own benefit.

But it is precisely because Red has never dared to really show his true heart, but let Hao Sijia mistakenly think that the other party does not love himself, resulting in the distance between the two people getting farther and farther. When Scarlett discovers that she is in love with Red, Red no longer loves her and finally abandons her.

The ending of "Gone with the Wind" further confirmed my view - human beings are born "despicable", and the more you love each other, the more you can't get the love of each other. When you don't love each other one day, the other party turns his head to love you, but at this time, you no longer need his "love".

So it can be seen that when the current girl is in love with a boy, she needs others to chase her, and she must learn to want to be indulgent, must not show too much initiative, and learn to be reserved, so that the other party chases herself harder. After repeated tests and temptations, after determining that you have been firmly chosen by the other party, you will make a slight response.

To be honest, such love, too tired.

In contrast, I prefer Fang Xin's love attitude in "Love Is Delicious", and when I fall in love, I take the initiative to approach, bravely confess, and let the other party also confess to myself, and finally win true love. Fang Xin grew up being cared for by the people around her since she was a child, so she can always grasp the initiative in love and bravely express her sincerity. After realizing that her husband had cheated on her, she left without dragging mud and water.

The so-called feminism, the so-called modern concept of love, should be, when you like me, I don't need you to chase you to run at you, when I don't like you, how you chase is useless. For the person I like, I can bravely confess, if you look down on me because of this and do not value me, it must be your loss, I can turn around and leave.

But the ideal is always beautiful, in real life, when a woman for a man to give all her heart but can not get the same sincere treatment, she will turn around and choose the man who loves her more to marry, the eyes are full of her "honest person", and insist on not paying more than the other party, how much you love me, I love you as much, even less love each other, let the other party love themselves.

I don't know how many women in real life have chosen this way of love, whether it is choosing the person you love, or the person who loves you, as a woman, you should not put a mind on love, but at the same time develop friendship, career, family affection, put more time on focusing on their own improvement, do a good balance of time and energy, only in this way, when you one day even lose love, you will not have nothing.