Love is beautiful, it can make people secrete dopamine, experience the simplest and purest happiness.
It's just that there are nine times out of ten that things are not satisfactory.
Some love can make the good consistent, some love, the good is just a flash in the pan, after experiencing the short-term beauty, it will continue to subtract from then on.
Among them, men play the most critical role, and their attitude determines the height of happiness that women experience in a relationship.
However, in the relationship between the sexes, once the "relationship" with the woman is determined, why is it easy for the man not to take the initiative.
The cost of time determines how much a person cares
To give a simple example: the same two pieces of clothing, one of which we easily obtained, and the other of which we needed to save money and save for a long time to buy.
There is no difference between the two, but in our hearts, we feel that the second dress is more important than the first, and the reason is that the latter pours out our time costs.
This is like the mobile phone we buy by working part-time to earn money, and the mobile phone given to us by our parents, the meaning of the two is not the same, so the degree of care is different.
After establishing a "relationship" with a woman, men become less active than before, most likely because men hardly spend any time and cost when pursuing.
A "I like you" and the two are together.
This is simply too easy for men to get, did not let themselves have any loss, how can they care after getting it?
What has already been done is processed and replaced on a regular basis
I remember when I was in high school, during the third year of high school, I took an exam almost every other week to test what kind of learning effect students were at this stage.
At that time, the mathematics was more difficult, all of them were real problems in previous years, and they could only write a "solution" word after racking their brains.
After the exam, I always remember the questions that were not completed, and those that were done did not remember.
This is the Zeignick effect in psychology, which is that people always remember things that have not yet been completed very clearly, and those things that have already been completed will no longer be remembered.
This is because what is not yet done has a driving force for the individual, and the deep part of our brain constantly issues the command "Finish it, hurry up and finish it".
So, under this drive, we will always remember the unfinished things, and then spend time and energy to complete it, so that it becomes a definite result.
In gender relations, we can find that men are always particularly dedicated when they have not yet established a relationship with themselves, and those concerns are also countless.
This is because at that time, for the "definite relationship" thing, it was not yet completed by men, and they wanted to make this thing a definite result.
And when we have established a relationship, for men, it has become a thing that has been determined, something that has been completed.
Under the influence of the Zeignick effect, men naturally no longer take the initiative as they were before the relationship was not determined.
After establishing a relationship, what should a woman do if she wants to get the man to take the initiative?
After determining the relationship, it is normal for men to become less active, after all, this is the same as when we were students, who will review after the exam?
Men's inaction is bound to make women unhappy, but we can't waste food because of choking, after all, love needs to be "routine" to maintain, we can refer to the TV series "Yanxi Raiders" in Wei Yongluo's approach -
After she became the emperor's concubine, she never stayed on the surface like other women, and she was eager to take out her whole heart.
Wei Yongluo's attitude toward the emperor has always been flat, when the emperor came to her, she was very happy, and when the emperor did not look for her, she was not in a hurry, but instead did her own thing happily.
Such a Wei Yongluo has her own independent world, and she is the only one in this world, and she will not be affected by anyone.
Therefore, in the emperor's heart, he would feel that Wei Yongluo's love for himself was such an uncertain thing, and he had to put more energy into making this thing certain.
In this way, even if the relationship was confirmed, the emperor was still particularly active with Wei Yongluo, as always.
Wei Yongluo's way of handling feelings gives us enlightenment, that is, even if the relationship is determined, do not sit back and relax, we must have a sense of crisis, and know how to plan ahead.
Don't show 100% love, don't spend all your time around men, and don't entrust your heart to men.
It's about being dashing, being free, being appropriately cold, and letting the man know that our world is not just him, we are living in a relationship, not in fate.
In this way, the relationship is determined or uncertain feelings, and the man will still take the initiative on the woman.