Author/Window Sill
The really powerful woman has long turned her life into silent mode.
This so-called silence refers to a relatively quiet state, or to put it more bluntly, that is, they first learn to shut up, no longer nagging some unchangeable status quo, nor do they dwell on some long-standing problems, and they will not blindly care about other people's attitudes towards themselves.
When the starting point of everything is to look at itself only in terms of itself – it means emphasizing and focusing on itself. In fact, many problems that could not be opened to the original were all relieved at once.
Some people, it is not that others do not let her go, but they themselves cannot let go of themselves.
Speaking of which, I have to mention my mother.
My mother was not someone who could mute her life. On the contrary, her life pattern is more noisy, and at the same time, it is also mixed with a lot of grievances and anger, and even her personality has become more irritable.
Until now, my mother is 55 years old, and some of the things she often tells me really sounds like she is not happy with herself. I wish she could be happier, so I often tried to persuade her. It's just that what I said today worked, my mom thought about it and felt reasonable, maybe tomorrow, her emotions will still go back.
I understand that it is really not easy for a person to really change his mind from the inside, so I can only try to make my mother not obsessed with some past things, and at the same time do what she likes, so that her mood can be better.
The things she often chattered about were probably the following.
At the forefront, my dad wasn't considerate enough. My mom has been chanting these words from her youth to the present, and they tend to be superimposed. It is that when something happens now, she will turn out all the old accounts similar to the past and talk about it non-stop.
I understand my mom talking about this because my dad really isn't such a good husband. From an objective standpoint, I definitely did not say bad things about my father, but my father was not qualified in many places in the matter of being a husband. My mother is the kind of woman who is more traditional and diligent, anyway, the family affairs, basically inseparable from my mother, if she goes out for more than a week, the home is not only dirty, other things will also begin to become like chaos.
My father has long been accustomed to this kind of dedication of my mother, he is the kind of personality that is more deserved, there is no action not to say, and the mouth will never comfort my mother and say something nice. So my mom would feel very wronged. What she used to say to me was that if my dad could do it a little bit, when he knew to care for her, she would be satisfied.
Speaking of which, my mom would give a lot of previous examples, assuming how my dad did it, and then assuming his emotions.
However, this hypothetical behavior actually does not help reality at all, because my father is not that kind of person, and he will not become the kind of personality my mother wants, and he can't change it. My mother's assumptions don't work.
This reality, I have always let my mother recognize, the advice given is: "Mom, in the future, what do you want my father to do, you will directly order him to do well." You don't have to do things yourself, and then blame my dad for not doing anything, not saying anything, and then sulking in his own life. ”
This is really adding to my own blockage. Because my dad didn't realize this at all, she just thought that my mom loved to nag and talk a lot, and often complained about her.
As a result, my mother did everything and ended up with a bad evaluation.
Therefore, this "silence" means not to nag and turn over old accounts, and not to use emotions to solve problems. Most of the people who do this end up getting angry with themselves to death, and the other party doesn't know anything. My mother often talked alone, and began to talk more and more angrily, and if she didn't pull her emotions back, she might cry. Just grasp the main contradiction and express your willingness to do something about what you want the other person to do.
Moreover, in the marriage relationship, do not blindly hope that the other party is good to you, use your own thinking to assume, do not put what you want on the other party, if you do this, but the greater the hope, the greater the final disappointment.
At the beginning, there were no excessive expectations, and naturally there were not so many complaints in the later stages.
This is not only for his own good, but also for his own good.
There are always some people, they are in an intimate relationship, they hope that the other party will do this and that, in order to judge the authenticity of this person's love, if the other party does not do it, they will start to complain, start to lose their temper, and begin to give birth to various emotions. Do you think you're punishing the other person by doing this?
No, you are just punishing yourself, those negative impressions caused by your own emotions, the negative impressions, in the end can only be digested by yourself, serious situations may also hurt your body, why bother?
If in your relationship, neither of you really has the idea of letting it break, that is, you still want the two of you to continue anyway, then don't take some detours.
What is the right thing to do?
If some realities have been established, you can be clear about yourself and be good to yourself, say less than two words, and use actions to realize some of your ideas. To be more specific, that is, what you want, don't expect the other party to buy it for you, you can buy it yourself, and you can do whatever you want. It is always right to be kind to yourself, and you should be more sure of yourself as a person and reconcile with some things that cannot be changed in the past. You can only reconcile, because no matter how much you emphasize the past, it is useless, it will only increase the trouble.
Think about it: Do you really lack each other's two indifferent words of concern? What is the difference between saying it and not saying it?
You just need to understand that the most important thing for you at present is how to make your life happier and more fulfilling under the existing circumstances.
Never put the cart before the horse.
Another aunt I know, this is this state, she belongs to the kind of person who doesn't talk much in marriage, doesn't complain, doesn't accuse, if you mess up, I mess up, anyway I won't say you. Auntie saw it very accurately, she thought it was useless to say it, then there was no need to do more. She will not treat herself badly anyway, and she will try to be good to herself in every way, and her mentality is also very good.
Strangely enough, the more this aunt had this attitude, her husband later became a more responsible person.
Facts have proved that in the relationship between the sexes, people who can adjust their lives to silent mode early are often smart people, they look more Buddhist, in fact, they have long been in such a mode, holding each other.
-END-
Talk and intercede with everyone who comes here, but it has nothing to do with the wind and moon. Click above to follow and welcome to Minecraft.