Loving a person must have inclusive participation, and a satisfactory love must also be inseparable from tolerance.
When two people are together, the advantage of appreciating each other is to increase income, and the disadvantage of tolerating each other is to reduce expenditure, so that the love bank will have a surplus and will not lose money.
Moreover, loving a person is to love a person in its entirety, and feelings based only on merit have never been qualified to be love.
Then love is tolerance, and the corresponding is the abandonment under unlove.
Once a person begins to have a psychological state of dislike for another person, it means that there is a gap and a gap in their feelings, at this time, it is necessary for the person who is disliked to examine his feelings well.
In a relationship between the sexes, if one day, you find that men start to dislike you, what should you do?
Psychological research shows that there are three things to do well.
First calm down and think about whether the reason why the other party dislikes him is his own
Wen Li in the TV series "Golden Wedding" knew to dress herself up one day, and all the money Tong Zhi earned was used by her to buy clothes, so that the family could not even eat meat, and all day long was white boiled noodles.
The neighbor Zhuang sister-in-law is meticulous, never spends money indiscriminately, and there is meat on the table.
It is not to let you spend money on clothes, but to consider this home while taking care of yourself.
Seeing others with big fish and big meat, and not seeing meat in their own homes, this will naturally make people feel a sense of loss in their hearts, and there will naturally be disgust.
This kind of disgust, because of the woman's own reasons, requires us to self-reflect, and then check and fill in the gaps.
However, some men's dislike is not because of women's problems, but because of themselves.
Some are because of being together for a long time, so that the woman's love for him makes him forget what he was like, so he is on his toes;
Some are because they have others in their hearts, and under the contrast, they feel that the original old love is not as good as the new love, and naturally there will be a psychology of disgust.
These dislikes have nothing to do with women, it is men who change their hearts, they like the new and dislike the old, they see different thoughts.
At this time, women do not need to find problems from themselves.
Don't mess around, don't be humble and flattering for reasons that are not your own
Some women, because their hearts are not strong enough, or they love men deeply, so that they are confused when men dislike themselves.
They will humbly please each other, knowing that the other party has a bad attitude towards themselves, or they must deliberately pander, not for anything else, just so that the other party does not leave themselves.
"Human Disqualification" said: "I hid my chagrin in my heart, blindly covered up my melancholy and sensitivity, tried my best to disguise myself as an innocent optimist, and gradually molded myself into a funny and amusing freak." ”
However, such an approach will not make a woman happy in the relationship at all.
Because any relationship is based on value exchange, and the ideal love is also evenly matched and indistinguishable.
Too strong love will make people more than enough and insufficient; too weak love will make people feel bored.
Therefore, love of equal status is just right.
But the humble flattery of women has already lowered their posture in love, which will only make men feel that women are cheap, so as not to take them seriously.
Therefore, in the face of disgust that is not due to their own reasons, it is better for women not to mess with themselves.
Adjust your mindset and focus all your attention on pleasing yourself
To give a simple example: if we only have the hobby of playing games in our lives, then one day there is no power and the Internet is cut off, will we be impetuous because we can't play games?
At this time, if we not only play games, we also have other hobbies such as sports, singing, and reading.
Then when we can't play the game, we can also divert our attention in other ways to make our lives full.
It can be seen that many times we feel impetuous, or powerless, mostly because we concentrate all our energy in one place.
Because we are too focused, we will be imprisoned by this thing over time, but if we are distracted, we will not be manipulated by anything.
The same is true of feelings.
We did nothing wrong, and we never changed anything, and when a man rejects us, that's his problem.
After all, it becomes not us, but them.
At this time, we do not have to spend our time and energy on an unworthy person, but focus more on ourselves.
Reading, traveling, exercising, improving skills, which of these things is not much happier than a man who hates himself?
Don't spend all your energy on the other half, spread it out, and you won't be pinched by others.