As I grew older, I went from getting together wherever I liked to be lively, to preferring to be alone rather than in the hustle and bustle.
Some people say that the sign of a person's old age is to change from liking bustle to liking quiet.
It is true that when I was young, I had endless energy, always thinking of knowing the world, and when I grew up, I experienced more things, and I lost my curiosity about the world.
Therefore, people will like a quiet life at a certain age, and the quieter it is, the easier it is to give people a sense of relaxation, without having to deal with tedious things.
Life is like this, and so is feelings.
It is not that it must be vigorous, but it is necessary to follow the law of the development of things and take the appropriate method to prescribe the right medicine.
Sometimes, slowing down the pace and adapting to the times can make our efforts and receive the results we deserve.
Psychological research has shown that in a relationship between the sexes, women learn to be "quiet" in order to eat a man.
Learn to be "quiet" and not to say love easily
The concubine in the TV series "Yanxi Raiders" especially loves the emperor, she can treat others coldly, and she can also be cruel to others, but only full of tenderness for the emperor.
Everything she did was for the emperor, but the emperor did not appreciate it, and in the face of her actions, the emperor only felt terrible, he could not believe that a person could actually take people's lives.
When she was imprisoned in the Cold Palace, Concubine Xian was unwilling and even more resentful of Wei Yongluo, who came to visit her.
She questioned Wei Yongluo why she had paid so much for the emperor, but she couldn't get the emperor's sincerity, and Wei Yongluo obviously didn't do anything, so that the emperor could fall in love with her.
Wei Yongluo didn't think so, she felt that although Concubine Xian was obsessed with the emperor, her mistake was to say her love casually.
In a relationship, whoever says love first is doomed to be a loser.
Mr. Qian Zhongshu has this description in "The Siege of the City": "There is a pile of grapes, some people eat from the worst grape, eat until the best, and leave hope forever; others, on the contrary, eat more and more grapes, eat until despair." ”
There is nothing wrong with expressing love, but the person who is loved will have no fear because of love.
Therefore, it is good to know what kind of feelings are in your heart, and don't say it easily.
Learn to be "quiet" and quietly improve yourself
All relationships are based on value, that is, what kind of value you have, what kind of position you will have in the relationship between the sexes.
No one likes people who are stagnant, the best way for two people to get along is to grow up together, you are good, but I am not bad, they are evenly matched.
Therefore, instead of struggling every day about how to find a chat topic, it is better to spend most of your time on yourself to enhance your self-worth.
Writer Xue Xiaochan once said: "When people reach a certain age, they are recycled." At the end, three or two confidants, a cup of light tea, and live your life as you want. ”
When we become knowledgeable, when we become elegant and charming, when we become irreplaceable, when we become financially independent and do not need to worry about life.
We can find our other half at will, we don't need to be bent on perfection, we don't need to be deliberately flattered, and our own value gives us the confidence to choose love.
At this point, we can consolidate our position in the relationship between the sexes.
At this time, we are calm, we will cherish all unexpected encounters, and we will also look down on all the resignation.
Learn to be "quiet" and not to harp on words of rebuke
I remember that when I was a child, I was naughty, I didn't like to study, and I didn't take my homework seriously, so the teacher didn't give me oral education.
At first, when the teacher criticized me, I still felt embarrassed, but as the teacher kept chattering, I also changed from embarrassment to disbelief, and finally to impatience.
Quite simply, people's ability to adapt to a thing is thresholded, and it can indeed show good results in a specified period of time.
But beyond the threshold, it will make people feel impatient, and the criticism at this time also loses its original meaning and role, but makes people feel impatient.
In a relationship between the sexes, men will inevitably do the wrong thing, and will inevitably provoke the other half to be angry, at this time, we need to pay attention to our own criticism.
Just a few words, click to the end, don't keep chattering, otherwise the other party will be impatient.
In addition, after the criticism, you can also give affirmation to the place where the other party has done a good job, so that the other party will not be so repulsive to the criticism of this matter, and also play a certain correction role.
Lu Xun said in "Speaking beards": "There is only one way for those who take the truth as jokes, jokes as the truth, and jokes as jokes: that is, not to speak. ”
Water can carry a boat, but also can overturn a boat, learn to use language as a skill, can help us solve most of the problems in the relationship.