Happy marriages are based on giving, not taking

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Invite one person to share the beauty of life

It is often recommended that you watch an advertisement for Lin Dan. It's time to get married, Fang Fang said, "Men don't cook." Husband, tomorrow I'm going to come in the door, the kitchen will be handed over to me, you don't have to cook anymore. "How did Lin Dan answer?" Women don't wash dishes. Housework also has my share, you don't have to wash the dishes, I packed. Finally, he said, "Marriage is like oil, and when you put it on, it boils." ”

Yes, only a marriage based on sharing can be like oil that makes the lives of both partners boil. In terms of taking on family responsibilities, we must learn from Lin Dan, because of our company, the lives of those around us are better. Only those who are self-sufficient are eligible to start a family. You yourself are still nibbling on the old, still negative numbers, why do you marry people home? Do you have to be a cow and a horse? Marriage is that I can earn 100 yuan, spend 80 yuan enough, and have a surplus of 20 yuan, and invite someone to share the beauty of these 20 yuan with me. You earn 100 yuan and spend 200 yuan, do you marry someone to come back and fill the hole of 100 yuan for you? Everyone is positive, two people together will have more surplus, so invite a new life to share, the child is the angel we invite to share the fruits of life. Make no mistake, make it an investment. Getting married and having children is not to buy a cow and horse to go home, but to be able to serve me in the future. Marriage is based on giving, not taking.

Tianjin TV's "Love Defense War" tells a couple, pregnant with a dragon and phoenix fetus, very happy. The woman's parents disagreed, on the one hand, they were not married, and on the other hand, considering that they were not yet capable of raising children, they had the girl undergone surgery. The girl feels that her parents are making sense, and the other party is still nibbling on the old, so why not let the child follow the old age? As a result, the boy was very hurt, complaining that the girl did not consult with him, did not work, and played games at home all day to kill time, so as to escape the sadness and let the girl raise him.

Host Zhao Chuan said particularly well: "Don't you think you owe her several sorrys?" You should say this to this girl: First, I should not let you be a mother-to-be without a choice; Second, I shouldn't leave you alone to face your parents when you become an expectant mother; Third, I shouldn't not have not only failed to take good care of you after you bear the consequences alone, but also blamed you, and even made you bear the financial burden. "Only by building love on the basis of sharing and dedication can we be happy and willing to fulfill our responsibilities."

We're here to share with you a lesson I took before my husband got married. When we were getting married, we went to meet the president of our university, and it was a Sunday, and the president was a prefectural and municipal cadre, and when he opened the door, he was doing housework bare-chested and wearing big pants. He had the great wisdom to say to my husband, "Come, you do the housework with me." Xue Bing, you go and chat with Teacher Zhu. "At dinner, the principal said to my husband, when I first got married and married you Teacher Zhu, there were five promises, do you want to refer to it?" Mr. Busy said yes. The principal said that the five promises were: greeting first when entering the door, going out to make a report, all the housework was covered, all the salary was paid, and all the leftovers were eaten. I thought the headmaster hurt me more than my father and would really speak for me. In fact, I have not told my husband, Teacher Zhu is not idle, which is to chat with her, she has been giving me a lesson on how to run a marriage. She told me, child, you are going to get married, people's families should not be outsiders when they come, and they should be warmly welcomed; When encountering things, do not go to your in-laws to file a complaint, and communicate with each other well: you can't be a princess, don't do anything; Read more books, enrich your own connotations, and so on. I am very grateful to my principal for giving us this premarital education class.

Recently, someone is going to get married, and he shared these five points: "Female comrades can't see leftovers, she has to lose weight when she eats, you are not slim when you take them out, you want to grab the leftovers..." I want to laugh on the side, and when the guests left, I said that our son wants to marry his daughter-in-law, do you also share these five with him? He said yes, we can't be too narrow-

Allow the other person to be himself

Marriage is companionship, it is sharing, unlike our other interpersonal relationships, so don't be too serious in the process of getting along, be relaxed, make yourself easy, and let the other person relax.

Learn humor when encountering things, don't be rigid, and be too serious. Once, while chatting at a friend's house and discussing where to eat, her husband called. Her husband ate at home once or twice a week for lunch and dinner, but people called home every day to ask for leave. The friend received a call from my husband asking for leave and said, "You won't come back?" I was getting ready to make dumplings, and yesterday I saw that you wanted to eat dumplings. Don't come back, I'll give you another bag when you want to eat another day. When she put the phone down, I said, "Sister, what about the dumplings?" Why don't I even smell the dumplings?" She said, "Hey, my own man, I can't pay for my life, what are you doing so seriously?"

I was amazed that couples can still get along like this! How I never thought of it. I said, if sir is joking with you, will you end up pushing the door in? As a result, people are more dashing, saying, "My own man, what is wrong with admitting a mistake, what else can he do to you." "So, the atmosphere of the friends' house is particularly nice and relaxing.

Once when a friend called, the husband was gathering a group of subordinates to a meeting in the office, so he opened the hands-free, and the friend said, "Don't hurry up, your mother is dead." The gentleman replied that he knew, and the phone hung up. The subordinate was very nervous and said hurry home, do you want to help? He said, it's all right, your sister-in-law loves to make jokes when she's not happy. This kind of joke between husband and wife is not in a hurry, not angry, it is really not simple.

It's not that you want to joke like that, it's to learn from her husband's tolerance, and don't take your wife's complaints seriously. No one will inevitably have some garbage in their hearts, let her dump it in front of you, don't remember it clearly, go to the heart, and take it out as evidence when you encounter conflict. Wife, you have to be careful in front of you, and life loses its ease.

Marriage is companionship and sharing, you love him, he does not belong to you, he belongs to himself. Don't reform him, but assist him. Allow the other person to be himself and don't try to change the other person. Because everyone is most comfortable being himself, not who he is. Only by being yourself can you truly live out the sacredness and solemnity of life. In addition to our own body, our partner is the closest cause to us, ten years to cultivate the same boat, a hundred years to cultivate to sleep together, to cherish it extraordinarily. You cherish it, and when the karma is over, you will not regret it.

To introduce you to a one-minute way to become a gentleman, it is very simple, that is, after expressing your own opinion, ask the opposite sex around you, "What do you think?" What women love most is to be respected, especially in front of people. A man's willingness to ask for his opinion means that he values his ideas and affirms his wisdom. In the face of the wise man, we are willing to pay attention to his opinion, and in the face of the chaotic man, we often do not bother to ask him what he thinks. Women are particularly eager to have the opportunity to speak, and someone who satisfies her desire can win her favor.

And what men expect is no longer to give him the right to express his opinion, but to get affirmation, after a man has finished speaking his point of view, the most eager to hear is, I think you are very right. People who have the right to speak are most eager for their words to be recognized and disseminated on a wider scale. A woman who understands the psychology of men is a lady in the eyes of men.

From a behavioral point of view, it is not necessarily difficult to learn these two kinds of people, the key is to cultivate from the heart to become a true card and lady, you must respect everyone and every point of view, everyone has the right to express their own point of view. Respect does not mean identification, even if I do not agree with your point of view I should respect.

This article is excerpted from "You are 100% yourself"

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The copyright of the article belongs to the author, and the views expressed in the article do not represent the publisher and are for reference only.

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