Big Bull Busy Marriage Emotional Case Series
Keywords: lover, divorce, remarriage
Article length: 4600 words
Original articles, plagiarism must be investigated
A man's love is very simple, as long as he can touch, he will not worry about not having a woman around.
A woman's love is simpler, as long as she puts down her perseverance, there will be no lack of men around her...
This is the original phrase in a marriage case, from a lady. Regarding marriage and love, she once told her personal feelings:
Why do I feel this way?
Because I feel more and more that love is living in the moment. Women have a lot of hardships to eat in this life, and if they can understand themselves before they grow old, they can thank God.
At my age, the relationship between men and women has long been thoroughly understood. Saying that love is not love, it is not sacred at all, and it is only a preparation for marriage.
Look at the divorced couples, didn't they talk about love back then? Later, those "I love you", which sentence is not a lie?
Love is just a good thing to say, but it is just a reasonable statement that at some point, two people maintained an intimate relationship.
Two people who are suitable can say that it is love, and if it is not appropriate, say goodbye, and it will not matter after that.
I have seen this kind of like the new and tired of the old, where is there any eternal and unchanging love?
My husband is becoming more and more indifferent to me, but I still long for someone to accompany me, even if it is only temporary care. I don't want to keep an empty house for him anymore, otherwise I won't be worth living in this life.
I have figured it out over the years that love should be living in the present. Cherish the rest of the time, try your best to love someone worthy of love, and enjoy the last bit of youth and romance.
The world is very complex, people change their minds very quickly, who knows what the future will bring? It is better to entrust yourself to anyone than to yourself.
While I'm not old, I'm looking for someone to romance, what's not to like?
Who I love and who I don't love is my own thing, and I'm in the way of who!
But sometimes I get confused and don't know if my idea is right or wrong. I have no other choice, I really don't want to wronged myself anymore...
First, I used to think that divorce was nothing
If you talk to this lady, do you agree with the idea that "if you are snubbed by your husband, go outside and find a lover to love yourself"?
Thinking in the big picture of life, whether you agree with it or not, it doesn't really matter. After all, fate is not clear, can only look at the final result.
People's growth experiences are different, and their views on feelings will naturally be different. Some things have not been experienced, and their ideas will naturally be different.
Regarding marriage, a person has an experience, and a stage has a stage of perception. What the past experience is not what the future will be...
Some couples love each other and have happy marriages, so they think that love is sacred. There are also some couples who think that marriage is like suffering, so love is like a lie in their eyes.
These are the real feelings of people who have come over, who is right and who is wrong?
Since it is a real feeling, it cannot simply be said to be right and wrong.
Psychologically speaking, many people have had fantasies, especially wanting to find a lover. In many marriages, this is a common psychological phenomenon. The results of statistics have proved that emotional problems can deceive others, but they cannot deceive themselves.
Objectively speaking, no matter what people think of love, life is only once. If you can really do it with a clear conscience and a dashing life, there is nothing to say.
But is that possible?
Marriage involves the whole body, and there is no such simple thing in the relationship. If life is only objective, you will find that life will be meaningless later.
Such ideas are ultimately unrealistic, both a denial of one's own human dignity and a destruction of one's family. If so, why should we get married in the first place, which is itself a contradiction.
Later the lady regretted it, and she gradually felt silly.
She quietly found a lover and gave up the marriage and family that should have been happy. She used to think that divorce didn't matter, and now she desperately wants to remarry her ex-husband...
Inferring the process from the result, the answer comes.
Why did she regret it?
There is only one explanation, and the root cause of her regret is that she was once too self-righteous!
Therefore, her original "love is to live in the moment" view was wrong. At least for her, the idea of "going outside to find a lover to love her husband for herself" is outrageously wrong.
Therefore, her views cannot be agreed. She was just amorous and self-mistaken, and eventually she suffered herself.
Second, women in their 40s are more eager to be accompanied
There is nothing to talk about in this case, but some marital psychological problems are worth mentioning.
In the following, I will tell you a little about her marriage case, a little elaboration on the emotional confusion that exists in the hearts of many people, please be sure that this is a common psychological problem.
In her tone, I will only tell the truth, and I will sort it out a little to improve readability.
More than 3 years ago, I was 40 years old.
Do you know what it's like to be 40?
I've been married for 17 years, and before I know it, I'm 40...
For women, this sentence itself carries an incomparably heavy pressure. To the heart, I can't feel that kind of loss until I am old. I was irritable when I saw everything, and I especially wanted to lose my temper.
I don't know why, I seemed to be getting old very fast in those 1 year. That day my husband said that I was old, I suddenly found that my face had shown an old state, with many small spots.
My mood suddenly dropped, and I didn't even dare to go out shopping like before. I long for my husband's care and pampering, but he said that this is a normal phenomenon, where are the immortals...
Suddenly, there was an indescribable sense of frustration, and it turned out that beauty was not eternal.
Looking back, since I got married, I got up early and was busy for more than ten years. I started from scratch with him and didn't hurt myself until I was 40 years old.
When I needed comfort the most, my husband's indifference hurt my heart.
Looking at the previous wedding photos, sometimes I unconsciously shed tears. Our life was very hard, but we were very loving. Now life is not hard, love is gone, even companionship is less.
When I was young, my husband loved me very much and was very capable of tossing and turning, and I even felt that he was very annoying. As I got older, the situation reversed. I longed for him to be close to me, but he began to dislike me and didn't want to touch me.
When you get older, you will slowly understand those truths, and life is indeed helpless. Time has changed everything, and we can no longer find the passion of that year.
40 year old man, what else is there for me to pursue?
There is really not much, love is getting farther and farther away, I can only watch it leave me, but I am powerless to stop it.
This may be fate, and no one can escape this stage of loss.
Some people say that by the age of 40, they don't believe in fate, and it's too late. I agree with this truth, but I don't want to let myself reflect this truth.
I envy the laughter upstairs, they live happier than we do. They are also husband and wife, the same age, how do people live, and how do we live?
I was often woken up in the middle of the night by the sound of my neighbor's house, and I called out to my husband, but he was indifferent to me. The two mouths are like 2 wooden people, with big eyes and small eyes...
Maybe 40 years old is a hurdle in a woman's life, and she really realizes that she is getting old, and only then does she know how uncomfortable she really is.
The more indifferent my husband is to me, the more I long for him to accompany me, coax me, and love me. I even want to be bold and quietly find someone to love me for him...
Third, if he is not reasonable, I will not talk about morality
Think back, do it.
At that time, I was still very rational, although my heart was very depressed, but I could understand my husband's hardships. Occasionally complain a few words, complain a little bit. I understand that more important than companionship is the harmony of the family.
What can I do, I really don't want to quarrel every day. There is no way to have such a husband on the stall, I can only persuade myself to be generous and slowly adapt to him.
However, my husband didn't care about my troubles at all, and he spoke very ruthlessly. He said that I had nothing else in my head all day, and I tossed it around at night, could I be serious?
This is what I used to say to him before I got married, and he copied it all.
I was joking that even if he could toss and turn, I just pretended to be angry and never really lost my temper with him.
But what about him? He actually roared loudly and really lost his temper.
The day he said: "Can I die without torturing me?" You're old, don't look for anything to do all day, don't bother me, get up early tomorrow to send the baby!
I was really heartbroken that night and quietly cried until dawn.
It's not that I long for his company, it's just that I feel bad in my heart. I gave him my youth, and he snubbed me when I needed him!
The more I think about it, the sadder I am, is there such a husband in the whole world?
What I was afraid of was not that he would snub me temporarily, but that this was just the beginning. The rest of my life is still very long, and I don't want to live to really grow old in grievances...
There are more people pursuing me, as long as I let go of perseverance, it is not difficult to find someone.
Don't talk about morality, in this era when going to bed is irrelevant, it is increasingly ridiculous to insist on love. This is a truth that everyone knows, isn't that what it is? It's just a relationship between a man and a woman, all voluntary, where to pay?
Everyone has their own realistic choices, love each other when it is appropriate, and separate when it is not appropriate. How can morality be immoral?
If morality works, why do so many people abandon their families? Since my husband has not reasoned with me again and again, why should I talk to him about morality again?
After crying a few times, I thought it through, and I was not obliged to stand by his principles.
I was so disappointed in my husband that I wanted to find the right man to love me. I will not let my husband know, nor will I hurt the marriage and family, is there anything wrong with this?
We are willing to accompany each other, as long as we do not interfere with each other's families, who has the right to criticize me?
Fourth, the pillow person is not a sweetheart
At work, an old friend and I were very close. He means a little bit to me, as long as I let go of perseverance, we can be together.
I have that feeling that we are only one coincidence apart. It's just that all along, I can't get past that level in my heart.
It wasn't until I had a big fight with my husband that night that I crossed that hurdle. It was the first time in my life that I had gambled out of the house, and I had left all the unpleasantness of life behind me.
Since then we have become lovers.
I really don't want to recall the past, the pillow person is no longer the sweetheart, the sweetheart is beside someone else's pillow...
Finding a lover is not about getting a divorce, just about feeling another intimate relationship. We associate in the name of love to fill the emotional gap in marriage.
It was just an emotional game with nothing to do with the future, but in the end it made me lose my mind.
I knew that each other needed what they needed, but in the confusion I loved it hopelessly, and I was more and more reluctant to break up.
It wasn't until I was in a dilemma that I realized that I thought that love was just a game, but love made me unable to extricate myself.
In order to be with him forever, my husband and I divorced and voluntarily left the house...
What to say about that?
In fact, we are all at fault, and he (the lover) is also tired of his wife, just as my husband is tired of me. He felt that his wife was annoying, and he did not want to accompany her, only wanted to accompany me.
Objectively speaking, we are most suitable together, relaxed and pleasant. I really thought we could be together, but reality told me that he couldn't give me the future I wanted.
Although he is also divorced, he is not as brave as me. He was sullen all day, and he didn't talk about marriage for a long time. We were in love for less than half a year and he proposed to break up.
That day he (lover) said: I found that we are just like that together, and I don't have the energy to play with you all day. Otherwise, you go home, I go home, let's be friends?
I asked him: Do you think you can go back? Don't let me down, I can't go back.
He said: I think people should live a conscience, but we are losing our conscience. We are all in our 40s, even if we are not old, we are not young, there are old and young. Even if we get married, do we still have the energy to have another child? When we are older, we are not human inside and outside, the evening scene is desolate, I don't want to do that...
We had a fight that day, and he resigned without me and remarried with his ex-wife. He hasn't contacted me since and the relationship ended.
Fifth, one must not deceive oneself
I thought I was living a very clear life, and after the breakup, I realized that I never got through. A person's life is very hard, and when life forces me to be tired of coping, I find that a bland marriage is a blessing.
He remarried with his ex-wife, and I also want to go home and remarry...
Now I have been with my ex-husband for 1 year and have returned to a peaceful life. Every day, I look forward to finding my husband and wife name, but the day of remarriage is far away.
Whenever I proposed to remarry, my ex-husband rejected me on the grounds that he had no time. He was impatient and hated the topic of remarriage.
I know he hasn't decided whether to remarry yet. Maybe he's still hating me, maybe he's just temporarily treating me as his nanny...
I don't know the real plan in my ex-husband's heart, I am very afraid that one day he will be kicked out of the house, and I am even more afraid that he will talk about his relationship with other women.
I didn't dare to say anything more, for fear of upsetting him. You can only take care of your family and make up for your mistakes as much as possible.
As far as divorce is concerned, the person who made the mistake was me. When I was cornered, it was my ex-husband who accepted me regardless of my previous suspicions. Say in my heart, I'm not qualified to complain about him.
He gave me a place to live, I should be satisfied, how dare I have any more extra demands?
But I had a lot of grievances in my heart, and I didn't mean to hurt my family back then...
The first half of the marriage case is what she told 3 years ago, when she felt that she was right. The second half is the story of the previous few days, and she is still waiting for the remarriage.
Regarding this case, I do not express my opinion, the article is the opinion. People's experiences are different, and everyone has their own opinions.
Objectively speaking, there are many married people who are indeed "gifted" and will speculate on the minds of the opposite sex. In their eyes, pursuing the opposite sex outside of marriage is quite simple.
So they moved their minds and wanted to find a lover to fill the so-called marriage gap. Under the guise of love, if it is appropriate, continue to communicate, and if it is not appropriate, say goodbye.
Is this really love?
In the spiritual world, love has roots, it is a footnote to the soul, and it holds the ambition of life. Love is never a twilight, but the courage to persevere to the end.
Everyone can be brave enough to love, but not to deceive themselves.
When a person is confused about marriage, it just shows that the person does not have enough realm to grasp the so-called love. Love is not sincere, even if you really encounter love, you can't keep it.
Marriage is your own choice, it is best not to easily self-deny. Life is the loss of the East Corner to harvest the mulberry, feel that the marriage is not good, of course, you can divorce, but the company under the guise of "looking for love" is actually a pit yourself.
Always remember that the easiest satisfaction is the lowest level of need.
Living in the present is life, not love, comprehensive rather than one-sided. If a person's love is only the so-called living in the present, then the true meaning of "living in the present" is distorted, and the future of his feelings is worrying.
— END —