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The world is worth it, and you are also worth | chengyi
Before waking up, it felt like i had a nightmare for a long, long time.
In the dream, I walked slowly to his door carrying a wine bottle, and he looked surprised when he opened the door.
Because I probably just told him half an hour ago that I was too tired to sleep first.
I looked at him with some inexplicable expressions, and I was actually silly and happy.
Xu Weinian, how many years, how can I still be so stupid, I believe what I say.
I stumbled and fell a step away from his couch.
He reached out and picked me up with all his might and rested his head gently on the soft cushion on the side of the sofa.
He used it to learn about the liquor, the water, and the blanket.
I kept complaining to him if I had moved the couch and caused myself to fall and eat.
How could I be so ignorant, and then I picked up the trash can in the corner of the coffee table and spit it up.
I thought I was about to wake up, but I looked at him and talked.
Xu Weinian, I said I couldn't let go of him.
I said that I will only like him in my life, you can't understand people's words.
What are you doing with this pestle all the time, are you deliberately blocking me?
Why are you showing up, you don't know.
I swallowed my saliva and watched the confusion in his eyes slowly turn into pain, and I was a little distressed.
He hurts me, what do I have to be sad about, this big idiot.
You don't know, people like me don't deserve such a favor at all.
When I opened my eyes, I saw exactly the same scene as in the nightmare.
For an instant I panicked.
But I heard the sound of porridge boiling in the kitchen, but I was calm.
I closed my eyes, not knowing how long I had been asleep again.
When he woke up, Xu Weinian was sitting in front of the window reading a book.
The porridge and buns on the table are still steaming.
Waking up, he pretended to say hello easily.
But the tired voice and deep dark circles under my eyes reminded me that the nightmare might have been a real accident.
I looked into his eyes, his mouth open several times, and closed several more times.
Finally, he opened his mouth first, ate first, and said while eating.
In the sunset, I was enjoying my breakfast.
And he just drank water while reminding me to eat slowly and not to choke.
I began to slowly recall the scene before the nightmare.
After saying goodnight to Xu Weinian, I brushed my weibo with self-care.
One accidentally flipped over the ex-boyfriend's wedding photos.
Another accidentally flipped over the photo of me with him, or another accidentally remembered his last words.
I feel like I've given enough over the years and I haven't failed you.
The last one accidentally opened the whiskey left over from the last time Xu Wei came to our house and had a drink with my father.
Nightmares are strung together.
In the third year after breaking up with him, in the second year after Xu Wei became my boyfriend.
After drinking the porridge, I watched as he struggled to adjust his breathing and tone.
I knew I must have said a lot of nonsense to him after drinking too much.
I knew it was only two weeks after my two-week anniversary to tell him I couldn't forget how an asshole my ex was.
I know that Xu Weinian has been doing very well in the past two years.
To my past, to my family.
Almost bottomless tolerance and pampering for everything about me.
I said I was lazy not to delete the ex-boyfriend's group photo and he had no objection.
Every time those pictures flashed by, he couldn't feel his emotions.
I said I wanted to scatter my mind and went to the ex-boyfriend's city, and he didn't question not stalking a life-threatening serial call without a day.
I said we didn't want to get married and we were doing it well.
When he returned to his hometown for the New Year, he would stand up and pat his chest with the seven aunts and eight aunts of the family and say——
It's that I don't want to get married and have nothing to do with me.
What a great man.
Before I could open my mouth, my eyes were red with my emotions.
Xu Weinian, I saw him make a gesture not to speak.
Then laughed as he had done in previous years.
He turned out to be cold from beginning to end.
Not angry at yesterday's events, just worried about my body.
I suddenly threw myself into his arms and couldn't stop crying, and kept saying sorry.
He gently stroked the back of my head and said,
Do you know what you drank too much yesterday and said the most?
You said Xu Weinian I don't deserve it, I don't deserve it, I'm not cute at all, you don't have to hurt me so much.
But you know what I think?
I stopped crying as if I knew he was going to say something important, and in the quiet air I waited for the familiar voice to wake me up.
Of course you deserve it, because you are the one I love.
END
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