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As the old saying goes, children avoid mothers, daughters avoid fathers, and keeping distance is respect for each other.
In this process, the initiative is in the hands of parents, and qualified parents should instill a sense of distance in their children from an early age.
After the daughter is 6 years old, the father should pay attention to respecting the privacy of the daughter, and after the son is 6 years old, the mother must also respect the privacy of the son.
Parents who do not know how to keep a distance may not hurt their children in the end, but the character that indirectly makes children form will affect their marriage and life.
Jiangsu mother complained: she gave her son a bath, and her daughter-in-law ruined her marriage
In the past two days, I saw a Jiangsu information on the Internet, felt a lot, and took it to share with you.
In a family in Suqian, Jiangsu Province, recently ushered in a happy event, the son is going to get married, the marriage room is ready, just waiting for the daughter-in-law to pass the door.
For the daughter-in-law who has not passed through the door, the in-laws are very satisfied.
But what makes them feel incredible is that the two children originally got along very well, there was no problem, the wedding date was finalized, the marriage room was ready, and the wedding photos were hung up, and the woman repented.
After repeated questioning, the other party told the reason, because after learning that the mother gave her son a bath, the girl thought about it and decided not to marry.
The family is a little confused, so that this mother does not understand that the son is getting married, to their own son to scrub the bath, is there a problem? She had watched her son grow up.
This mother posted her doubts online, on the one hand, she wanted to vent her anger, and on the other hand, she wanted to find answers.
Unexpectedly, netizens did not feel that the girl's behavior was excessive, many netizens supported the girl's behavior, and reminded the mother: there is nothing about this behavior, but the hidden information behind the behavior makes her worry, she is worried that she will marry a "ma bao man".
Ma Bao Man is the most unpopular in the marriage market
Casually ask an unmarried girl, what kind of man is the man who does not want to marry the most, Ma Bao male positioning is listed in it, "Ma Bao Male" is too terrible, so that many girls are discouraged.
What is "Ma Bao Male"? Ma Bao Man is a person who relies on his mother for everything, reports everything to his mother, and is completely independent from the mother-child relationship.
Marrying a "ma bao man" is equivalent to living with a man and his mother, because the mother will always be personal, the man does not have a mature appearance, and everything must be approved by the mother.
In the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, don't expect that "Ma Bao Man" will turn to his wife, because such a man is afraid of his mother from his bones.
Can this day be better? No girl wants to marry a big man who listens to his mother in everything.
So in the end, the girl in the case is not unreliable, it is too reliable, and she holds the attitude of being responsible for herself, which cuts off this fate.
Because under normal circumstances, a mature man is absolutely not allowed to rub his mother's back, how much mud on his back needs to be rubbed by his mother, it is really not okay to let his father help!
How "Ma Bao Man" was cultivated
There is a friend who has this "suspicion", she loves her son too much, always around her son, she even feels sad when she thinks of her son getting married after more than ten years, another friend reminds her: You should pay attention to keeping a distance from your son, your son is ten years old, you can let your father intervene in things that can make your father intervene, you can let your child do things by himself, let the children do it themselves, everything is your worries, be careful that your son becomes a "mother treasure".
Although this friend's words did not sound very good, they were telling the truth.
Ma Bao is raised in this way, the mother is too worried, everything is thoughtful for the son, the son is like a puppet to enjoy the good life provided by the mother.
Because usually the mother is thoughtful for her son, when she encounters problems, she will also solve it for her son, and the son has a great dependence on his mother, and gradually, the son cannot do without his mother, and it has become what people call "mother's treasure".
In addition, there is also a very dangerous, that is, the mother is too dependent on the son, once the son grows up, the mother is difficult to accept the son's neglect of his own feelings, will target the daughter-in-law, staged a family war.
Wise mothers are always able to gracefully withdraw from their sons' lives, boys are not so squeamish, girls can solve problems, let the children solve themselves, children can not solve the problems, guide the children to solve.
In the process of countless exercises, the boy's sense of responsibility and responsibility will be enhanced, which is a very important two qualities for men.
To truly love a child is to let go of the child
Worried about children wrestling, do not let go of the child to walk on their own, the child will not learn to walk, worried about the child's injury, do not let the child try new projects, other children can already play by themselves, their children also need their mothers to help them to play these projects.
Parents do not let go, the child will not grow, after the parents let go, falls and injuries are inevitable, but only through these experiences, children really grow up.
Community children's paradise, there is an area with a lot of small cylinders, children over 3 years old can basically walk on it, from a small cylinder to another small cylinder, one of the babies always want to try, parents are always uneasy, must help her to complete, the result of the same age children can walk steadily on the small cylinder, this child is still trembling can not walk independently.
Parents' worries are understandable, but if they are too protective of their children, they will not be able to grow up.
If you really love your child, let go of the hand holding your child earlier and protect him from the side.
As children grow up, have their own circle of friends, have their own life, parents should learn to withdraw decently, which is the real consideration for children.