Text: Hope
Pictured: Vulgar photography
I am 60 years old and very satisfied with my life now. But there is one thing that makes me very heartbroken, suppressed in my heart for more than twenty years, and still lingers, I write it out, welcome everyone to comment.
I was born into a poor family, I have 8 brothers and sisters, three older brothers, two older sisters, one younger sister and one younger brother. When I was ten years old, my mother died of cancer, and the burden of a large family was on my father's shoulders.
My eldest brother got married at the age of twenty, and my second brother didn't have a wife when he was 25 years old, so he had no choice but to use his second sister to transfer his relatives and ask for a daughter-in-law. Immediately after that, my father told my 22-year-old third brother to say that he was a daughter-in-law, and at the same time, he was desperately trying to earn money.
After my father saw who had said hello, he begged people to give my third brother a daughter-in-law. Until 1981, my third brother was 26 years old and had not yet found a daughter-in-law, so my parents sighed every day.
Suddenly, one day, I heard that a woman from her mother's family in Sichuan, who was in the east of Zhuang, brought back from her mother's house this time, a very beautiful girl, about twenty years old, and said that she wanted to find her in-laws in this village.
At that time, my father and third brother rushed to see it, and they were very satisfied, so they asked someone to say that the woman said that she would give a dowry of 1800 yuan before she was willing. So we all worked hard to get nine hundred yuan, but the other party still did not let up, and as a result, one of the neighboring villages could get 1800 yuan.
After that, my third brother was so upset that he didn't eat or drink every day and couldn't afford to sleep. At this point, my father was in a hurry, helpless, and my father said to me with tears in his eyes: "Sanni come, daddy will discuss something for you?" ”
I knew what my father was trying to say, so I cried and said to him, "Great (Father), don't you say it, I do!" ”
Before that, my father also had plans in this regard, and the matchmakers in the neighboring village also contacted two families and wanted us to change the three families, because of those two families, the man was particularly ugly, and the other was twelve years older than me.
I am not boasting, I was not only a cultural low point at that time, but also a superior talent in terms of looks. Although I said that it was voluntary to change relatives for the third brother, I still cried all night with grievances, and my eyes were swollen.
In November 1981, when I was 19 years old, I married my husband, who was 12 years older than me.
We are married first and then in love. Although I was poor, my husband was very kind to me, and the next year my eldest son was born, and my third brother also had a very cute daughter. I was also particularly pleased to see the love of my handsome niece and my third brother and sister-in-law.
A few years passed, my third sister-in-law gave birth to a son and a daughter, and I became the mother of two boys.
When my eldest son was nine years old, during the summer vacation that year, I sent him to a martial arts school to learn martial arts and study with my third brother's eight-year-old son. The martial arts class was on my mother's house, and my son ate and lived with his father. Although the eldest son is away from home for the first time, he feels very happy to have cousins of about the same age play.
After a week, I went to see my eldest son. When the third brother-in-law saw me, she angrily said to me that my eldest son was fighting for his son's football and had hit her son's nose with blood, saying that my son was a year older than his son, which was too ignorant to do so.
I understood what she meant, and he wanted me to beat my eldest son hard. But the first time I was separated from my eldest son for so long, I didn't want to beat my son, but just criticized him fiercely.
I didn't expect that for this matter, the third brother and sister-in-law would hate me for the rest of my life. From then to now, more than twenty years have passed, the three brothers and sisters-in-law, their three children and my family, are still strangers, I regret this for more than twenty years, if I had known this, I would have beaten my son hard.
Whenever I think about this, I am very sad, my saddest thing is that my third brother ignored me, others I can forgive, but the third brother can not, if I did not agree to change his relatives for him, he only had to beat the bare stick.
Once, when I met my third brother on the road, I shouted at my brother, but he turned a deaf ear as if he hadn't heard.
My third brother's eldest daughter got married, and he didn't inform me. So when my eldest son got married, we didn't call him. Later, his son and his daughter married and did not tell me that my younger son was married as usual. Our two families completely broke off relations.
I often think that it is not worth it for the brothers and sisters of our compatriots not to interact with each other for such a small matter.
Sometimes, I also want to be cheeky and take gifts to the third brother's house to resolve the conflict, but my heart is still a little unwilling, and for this reason, my mood is also contradictory.
Dear ones, was I wrong? What should I do in the face of such a family breakdown?