01
Some people say: "Whoever is old is bloody and rainy." ”
Someone said, "There must be something hateful about the poor." ”
Combine the two sentences, and then combine them with reality, you will find that many old people are not happy, not because they are not working hard enough, their children are not mixed well, but that they have problems with their own handling of people, and in middle age, they have already exposed the signs of the desolation of the evening scene, and they are too careless and have not corrected it in time.
We always think that when our children grow up, their parents will be blessed. As everyone knows, different ages have different grievances. Therefore, we must change with the change of age, and focus on changing the fate of the family.
When we really enter old age, we will understand that no matter how good the family relationship is, we must also pay attention to the rules and remember the following ways of getting along.
02
First, "there are a thousand families in the family, and one person in charge": elect parents to avoid the separation of primary and secondary.
If the people in a unit are independent, there is no way to do a good job, and the unit will collapse.
In the same way, if a family is a "leader", there will be a situation in which the public is justified and the mother-in-law is reasonable, and no one is convinced, and they will raise the bar against each other.
In the family, we have the patriarch; in the family, we need the head of the family. Distinguish between the protagonist and the supporting roles in order to divide the work and cooperate.
When my grandmother was in her eighties, several uncles were in a fight. Because my grandfather passed away for many years, my grandmother had difficulty taking care of herself and needed long-term care.
Who is in charge of the money, who is responsible for seeing Grandma, who bears the utility bills... None of them have opinions.
Finally, after consultation, my grandmother was settled in my brother-in-law's house, and several other uncles gave alimony, my mother and aunt, to bear certain expenses.
It is not difficult to find that the little uncle has become a "parent", and he said that he would prevail about supporting his grandmother in the future.
As the saying goes: "Dragons are leaderless, and they can't become a big climate." ”
In the family, everyone has the final say, which is equivalent to "everyone who says it does not count". Therefore, the elderly should take the initiative to consult with their children, give up the position of the parents, and be happy to be on the side.
03
Second, "husband and wife are still good matched": cherish fate and avoid extramarital affairs.
In the last year of the Northern Song Dynasty, the talented daughter Li Qingzhao married Zhao Mingcheng, a student of the Tai, and the husband and wife were like-minded, separated for one minute and missed for sixty seconds.
Li Qingzhao said: "Whoever sends the Jinshu in the clouds, when the goose character returns, the moon is full of the West Building." ”
Unfortunately, Zhao Mingcheng died young, and the Northern Song Dynasty also became the Southern Song Dynasty, and wars were raging.
In distress, Li Qingzhao remarried to Zhang Ruzhou.
Zhang Ruzhou is a hypocrite who only loves money and power, and does not think about the love of husband and wife. As a last resort, Li Qingzhao beat the drum and filed a complaint and got a "divorce statement".
A lone lamp, a hut, a touch of night, a cry of "miserable and miserable relatives"... On such a day, it looks quiet, but in fact, the evening scenery is desolate.
Whether it was in ancient times or today, the halfway couple is always better than the original match. If your family, the children are filial piety, the family is harmonious, but there is no lover, or the original match is lost by you, and there is a second marriage, the contradiction will increase.
Think about it seriously, your children will be filial to you, but it is difficult to be filial to your stepmother, stepfather, and even because your parents divorced, you will not be lukewarm.
Hold your wife's hand tightly, go together for a lifetime, and all extramarital feelings must be abandoned. If the wife goes first, the twilight love should see the character clearly, and it is better to be lacking than indiscriminate.
04
Third, "brothers, clear accounting": learn to talk about money and avoid economic disputes.
When people are old, their children will keep an eye on your property, because it is a good thing that you can get rich without labor.
Some old people, thinking that a certain child will always take care of themselves, give him everything, and in the end, this child is unreliable, and the other children have a grudge because they have not received money, regardless of the matter of support.
"Eccentricity" is the most taboo thing for the elderly. Regarding money, we must consult with our children, not arbitrarily.
If the children are very rich, then you still have to deal with it, let the children form a joint force, get rich together; the wife and a child are very rich, you have to take the initiative to communicate, let the rich people, pull a person who has no money, help each other.
Good old people are the "middlemen" of collective wealth. Don't think that if everyone doesn't say, money is in hand, you can be happy.
Of course, the accounting is measured, the big property should be clearly stated, and the trivial things should not be calculated. There is both a more authentic side and an emotional mutual courtesy.
05
Fourth, "the tree is big and the family is divided": operate separately and avoid eating a big pot of rice.
In my hometown, when adult children get married, they immediately split up, which is called "opening branches and leaves." It is as if a great tree, at a certain height, has branches; new seeds fall on the ground, and after germination, they become big trees.
Family relations are good, on the one hand, family unity and harmony, on the other hand, small families, walking around each other, sincere affection. If you eat a large pot of rice, because the distance is too close, it will breed contradictions.
For example, a bowl of soup is only enough for two people to share, but there are five family members, there is no way to separate; the old man praises the eldest grandson, and the youngest grandson has an opinion, thinking that it is eccentric.
Distance produces beauty, and such a truth is consistent in any family. The elderly should like "children and grandchildren, generations in the same house", but also like "each is well, care for each other".
A pot of food, no matter how good it tastes, can not make everyone praise. This is the rule of "everyone is difficult to reconcile". Therefore, it is necessary to cook in a few more pots and a few more people to hold the spoon.
06
A good family relationship is a desire, and there is a difference between it and the reality of the situation.
Only by putting wishes into reality can wishes come true. Rules, bottom lines, essential.
Don't shut up talking about "family relationships" just because you can't erase your face. Many things, when it comes to opening up, everyone has no suspicion or resentment, and can reach a consensus.
People are old, and their ability to manage families is small, but family chores do not decrease. Therefore, it is necessary to take precautions and, at a certain time, transfer the burden of the family to the children, and distribute the bits and pieces of the family properly. Don't wait until you can't walk until you watch your children make trouble.
As the saying goes, "Where there is justice, there must be justice, and where there is justice, there must be justice." ”
May you and I, benevolent and loving, strict stewards.
Author: Cloth coarse food.
Follow my words and go into your heart.
The illustrations in this article come from the Internet.