The last time my mom lost her temper with my dad was in the hospital.
I was 11 years old.
In the memory, the sky outside the window is overcast.
The weather forecast said there was heavy rain, but it kept going.
My mother threw the inspection report in front of my father, crying and saying, let you come early and you will not come, what will you do after you let our mother and daughter do it later.
My dad hugged my mom.
Only this time, my dad didn't know how to coax my mom.
My mother was born in a famous ancient city along the Yangtze River.
Grandpa was an associate professor in the orchestra department of the Conservatory of Music and had two sons and a daughter.
Neither of my uncles had a musical talent. Only my mom inherited my grandfather's genes, from elementary school flute and piano.
When I was in elementary school, my mother was the backbone of the school's literature and art, a little princess-like existence.
The teachers all said that she would definitely be a musician in the future.
My mom was admitted to the conservatory of music in college, graduated, and joined the city song and dance troupe on our side.
It was 1991, the age when art was not worth much.
Everyone loves Hong Kong and Taiwan stars, and no one watches songs and dances.
Fortunately, my mother is pretty enough and has a little way out.
After being introduced, I played the piano every day in the lobby café of a four-star hotel on our side.
At that time, being able to work in foreign-related hotels was enviable.
Because the working environment is good, the salary is high, and it can also be tipped.
Every time my mom would put a huge glass of wine on the piano. Many foreigners will give money, and one of them is an American, who is particularly attentive.
Every time, he would put 10 bucks in my mom's big cup.
By day 20, my mom had become his girlfriend.
I know very little about that American.
Because my mom didn't want to mention him.
It is said that the technical experts who came over were invited. My mom thought the American was going to take her abroad. But my mother was pregnant, and the American did not say goodbye and returned home.
My mom was four months pregnant, and it was only when her stomach grew bigger that my grandmother found out.
The family was angry and forcibly pulled her to get a fetus. Things are boiling over.
My mother rested at home for a while, saying that she was raising her body, but in fact, she also deliberately avoided the wind.
One afternoon, someone came knocking on the door. My grandparents both went to work.
My mom was a bit surprised when she opened the door. She asked, who are you and what do you want to do?
Actually, my mom knew that person. He was the hotel porter with luggage.
Soon after, he became my dad.
My dad is from Jilin and comes from the mountains, 4 years older than my mom.
He has two older sisters and a younger brother.
Grandpa was grumpy, lazy, loved to drink, and loved domestic violence.
When my dad was 8 years old, my grandfather was drinking with friends, and on the way back, he fell drunk on the side of the road. One night, I froze to death.
The family was too poor at that time. When my father was in junior high school, he was laughed at by the teacher pointing at his nose, so angry that he dropped out of school and ran out into the rivers and lakes.
Fortunately, my father was tall, had a good image, and had been a doorman for several years, when he was already a small foreman in the concierge department.
According to my dad's recollection, my mom went to work for the first time, wore a white dress, sat at the white piano, and played Debussy's Moonlight.
Of course, at that time, my dad didn't know who Debussy was.
He just thought that my mother was good-looking, played well, and the babbling sound flowed over, and it was not as beautiful as in the human world.
My dad was helping the guests with their luggage, but I was so mesmerized by my mom that she stood there dumbfounded, her legs unable to open.
After my mother had a fetus, she didn't go to work for more than half a month.
My father couldn't hear the "moonlight" and felt like he had lost his soul. Many parties inquired about my mother's situation and came to visit.
My mom said that when I think about it now, it's quite scary. Inexplicably, he was targeted by a man.
But I didn't think so at the time.
Maybe my dad has a thick face.
He was carrying three pounds of eggs and two pounds of brown sugar. 20-year-old eyes with 30-year-old crow's feet.
My grandfather began to look down on him.
Country people, low education, all aspects of the conditions are not worthy of my mother.
But my dad went to see my mom every three to five minutes.
Work for Grandpa's family, do things.
After my mom went back to the hotel to play the piano, my dad begged the manager to thank my colleagues so that the shift would be able to take my mom home.
At that time, my mother was experiencing a low point in her life.
His career, the future is unknown, and all around him is gossip.
Only my father, when everyone fell into the well, still regarded my mother as a princess to look up to.
Humble, but firmly in love with her.
Once, the fire alarm of the hotel suddenly rang out, and smoke poured out of the corridor.
Everyone didn't know what was happening, so they all ran outside.
My mom was wearing high heels and in a hurry, she put her feet on her feet.
She was in so much pain that she couldn't stand up when she saw my dad running alone.
Without saying a word, a princess hugged and carried my mother out of the lobby.
My mom said she was impressed by my dad's stupidity.
This boy, who was four years older than her, gave her a strong sense of security.
In 1993, my mom married my dad against the objections of everyone in the family.
If my mother hadn't had a fetal beating, my grandfather wouldn't have let her marry if he had discounted her leg.
But at that time, she was not young, and there was all kind of gossip outside, and Grandpa had to compromise.
Our family's first house, was rented.
Small one room but with a piano.
That's my mom from childhood to adulthood.
Usually, when my mother practiced, my father would make a pot of tea and sit by the side to accompany him.
It was then that he began to know Debussy, beethoven, Mozart.
Of course, his favorite song is "Moonlight".
Sometimes, it's hard to comment on what kind of marriage is happy.
My dad didn't have any money, but after my mom married him, she didn't suffer a single grievance.
He never let my mom do any work.
Rice, he cooks. Clothes, he washed. Even the bowl after eating was not washed by my mother.
He said that my mother was an art hand and could only touch the keys of the piano.
My mom played the piano for a long time, and the joints of her hands would hurt. My dad would boil hot water every night and soak my mom's hands.
Then massage her finger by finger.
In the Spring Festival of 1994, my mother returned to my hometown with my father for the first time.
A small village hidden in the mountains.
Got off the train, turned the big passenger into the mountain, and sat for more than 5 hours.
My mother felt like a national treasure, and every family came to see it.
Because my dad married his wife back to a big city, it was a big deal.
My grandma especially liked my mom. Just like when Grandma Liu saw Lin Daiyu, she wanted to touch it but didn't dare to, so she sat on the side and watched.
My aunt wanted to touch my mother's hand, and my grandmother hit her and said, don't move, people's fine skin and tender flesh, let your big paws break.
It made my mom very embarrassed.
I showed up at this house in November 1994.
By then, my dad was already in business.
He opened a shop of northeastern souvenirs, selling ginseng, deer antler velvet and so on. The money in the early stage was lent to him by my two uncles.
So that my mother and grandmother can sleep well. He opened shop during the day, took me with him at night, got up every two or three hours, fed me, and coaxed me to sleep.
My grandmother used to be very disgusted with my father.
But then, seeing my dad treating my mom well. She didn't say anything.
She told my mom that it was better for a woman to find a man who knew the cold and the hot than to make money.
It's true that my dad doesn't do big businesses, but small businesses run well.
The specialties he sells are genuine. Those who know the goods are willing to buy them in my store.
In '96, our family bought a house.
At that time, my second uncle suggested to my father not to buy a house first, take money to open a branch, and make the business bigger. But my dad said, no, no, I manage so many stores, who cares about my wife and children.
My second uncle said he didn't show up.
My dad, on the other hand, was overjoyed.
Outsiders say my dad has two daughters.
Me, and my mom. At home, my dad was the big parent who took care of us.
Whether it's living or traveling. My mom and I are only responsible for beauty.
But slowly, my mother's temper was spoiled by my father.
If I wasn't satisfied, I would discipline my dad.
What dishes are salty, the clothes are washed yellow, the apple peels are not peeled clean...
Sometimes even on the street, she would lose her temper with my dad over small things. And my dad always smiled and said, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'll change it right away.
I remember when I was 5 years old, I went to my grandfather's house for dinner.
Because my dad forgot to bring my grandfather the wine, my mom was furious.
When my dad came home to get it, my grandma said my mom, you can't do this. A family, he doesn't remember, you help him remember. Besides, the man is out there, and you have to give him face.
My mother said that he couldn't stand it and could go, and I didn't stop him.
It really responded to the lyrics, favored, and fearless.
Time moved back to 2003.
My mom worked as a teacher at a music school.
At that time she had tenosynovitis, an occupational disease of playing the piano. Later, it was so serious that the wrist would hurt as soon as it was forced, and at one point the piano could not be played.
That was when my mother's temper was the worst, and when she was slightly upset, she scolded my father.
I was especially upset with my dad. Because of my mother's outburst, it became more and more inexplicable.
Once, I asked my dad, why aren't you angry?
My dad said, your mom is an artist. Of course, the artist is going to have a temper. I was thick-skinned and let her scold two sentences that didn't matter. She's happy.
Looking back now, my dad was looking up at my mom all the time.
He was a little boy coming out of a ravine. When I was a child, I was hung up and beaten by my grandfather, at school, scolded by the teacher pointing at the nose, in the hotel, by the manager of all kinds of bullying...
In the first half of his life, he has been wandering at the bottom of society and experiencing too many injustices.
It was only after he met my mother that his life began to change.
My mother was able to marry him, like a dream in the fantasy.
Therefore, in his eyes, being scolded by my mother twice is really nothing.
What he was most afraid of was that my mother would wake up in a dream when she was not happy.
In 2005, on my mom's birthday, my dad bought a dog as a gift.
It was a small side shepherd, very cute.
But because of this dog, my mother had a big tantrum. She asked my dad why he didn't negotiate with her and bring a living thing back.
Later, I especially liked it before staying.
I named it, Little Two.
It was also that year that my dad started to get a little lazy. Sometimes, I oversleep in the morning and don't make breakfast for me and my mom.
Colds and fevers also increase.
In May, it was hot and my mom noticed that my dad's left chest was red and swollen. My dad said, fire boils, it's all right.
But in August, pus came out of the swollen area.
My mom felt something was wrong and urged my dad to go to the hospital for a check-up.
Who would have thought that a big man would actually have breast cancer, advanced.
Find it out, it has been transferred. Inability to return to heaven.
I remembered that my mother had only lost her temper once.
In the hospital.
She angrily threw the report in front of my father and said, let you come early and you will not come, what will you do after you let our mother and daughter!
My dad smiled softly as usual.
Only this time, he didn't know how to coax my mother.
He said, I was wrong, I'm sorry.
My mom had a black face and suddenly the tears came down. She wanted to hold my dad, but she was afraid that it would hurt to touch him.
Then my dad reached out and took me and my mom into his arms.
Three people cried in the hallway.
My dad's surgery was scheduled for September. Before the operation, he closed the shop and took care of the inventory. Then I told my mom that he wanted to go back to his hometown.
Originally he wanted to go back alone, and neither my mother nor I agreed. I took a leave of absence and returned to the northeast with him.
On the train, when my mother went to the toilet, my father said to me, dad wants to ask you one thing, is it okay?
I said, okay, leave it to me.
My dad laughed and said, then I'll hand over your mom to you. After Dad's surgery, he had no strength. If mom's hand hurts, you rub it for dad. If she's not happy, you coax daddy. If she loses her temper...
I learned to answer in my dad's tone, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I was wrong, you don't get angry.
My dad touched my head and smiled slightly, his eyes full of tiny little starlight.
My tears came out like that.
The south of September is still like summer, but the small village in the north already has the meaning of autumn.
The nights are particularly cool. The broad-leaved forest on the mountain, the second turned yellow, orange and red.
My dad got together with everyone, and then, at nightfall, he quietly went up the mountain alone.
By the time his family found him, he had left quietly.
He committed suicide, he was only 40 years old.
Grandma said that the leaves fell back to the roots. Where to come, where to go.
Obviously, when my dad came back this time, he deliberately "returned to the roots."
He didn't want to be a burden to my mother.
He only allowed himself to give my mother happiness, not to give my mother trouble.
For a few days, my mom and I cried.
Cry and fall asleep, open your eyes and shed tears.
The three of us came, and when we went back, we would make two.
When we left, my grandmother brought us a lot of things. Grandma said, poor you mother and daughter two.
My mom pouted to my grandma and knelt down.
She didn't say anything and gave my grandmother three heads in tears.
My mom has always been a big fan of Little Two.
But since my dad left, she's become particularly in love with it.
Treat it to meals every day and bathe it on time.
When watching TV at night, always put your arm around it.
In fact, my dad misread my mom.
Once, he was so worried that he was gone, and no one could calm my mother's temper. But in fact, without my dad, my mom doesn't like to lose her temper.
She changed a lot.
Or rather, she began to relearn life. Take care of the housework, take care of my living, learn to stir-fry and cook.
The dishes that my mom started stir-frying were particularly unpalatable and unpalatable to swallow.
One day, I came back from school and she made braised pork. It smells pretty good.
But when it was served, neither of us wanted to move the chopsticks, because it was very bitter. We all picked up another plate of greens to eat.
After the meal, my mother poured the braised meat and cried silently while washing the dishes.
I found that my dad misread me too.
I didn't have the ability to make my mom happy like he did.
My mom was crying, and I was crying so hard I couldn't speak.
The only one who inherited him was Xiao Er.
Strange to say, Xiao Er is particularly sensitive to my mother, and as soon as she hears my mother crying, she will run over and rub my mother's leg and make a squeaking sound.
It's as if someone is wronged and saying, I'm sorry, I was wrong, don't be angry.
In the first year after my father's death, there was a mediator coming to the door.
My mom was 37 years old.
Because he never takes care of the housework, he looks much younger than his peers.
In fact, there is no need to introduce, there are many people chasing her. Many of them are in fairly good condition.
But my mom refused one by one.
She closed the door to her world and only watched over me and Xiao Er.
For those years, my mom was in touch with my grandma. Every New Year's Holiday, my mom would send money to my grandma.
Grandma would also send us good food.
All are specialties of the mountains.
In the summer before high school, my mother still took me to visit my grandmother.
I was in the mountains, crazy for a whole month.
Six years after my dad died.
Grandma passed away.
I'm in my junior year of high school. My mother still took me with her, and traveled thousands of miles back to the northeast to mourn.
Everyone in the village said that my mother,000 daughter-in-law had a conscience, but my mother only said that it was all right.
In college, I went to Shanghai.
My mom sent me there.
Before she got home, we went to the typhoon shelter for dinner. I quipped to her that I had thrown off this little baggage, and you should also consider the big things of your life.
That year, my mom was 44 years old.
In good shape and with an artistic bonus, my roommates thought she was my sister. It's a shame not to be in love.
But my mother thought I was troublesome.
Later, she asked me, do you still blame your mother?
I said, what do you blame?
My mom said, blame me for not caring about your dad.
Actually, I don't remember anything.
But my mom said that in my dad's chapel, I cried and said she never cared about my dad. My dad had cancer, and she didn't even know it.
I said she was too selfish and killed my dad.
Maybe it's a skewed memory, and I really don't remember what I said.
But my mom remembers, always remembers.
Over the years, she seems to have been secretly making up for her original mistakes.
She learned to be a good daughter-in-law and a good mother.
My mom said to me, it's true that I didn't do a good job, I'm sorry your dad. He had changed so much that I hadn't noticed it, and it was because I didn't care about him too much.
My dad had quietly told me to take good care of my mom.
Unexpectedly, my mother quietly changed herself.
Nine years after my dad died, I had a boyfriend.
I met when I was a fellow countryman.
Others are nice, very simple.
Both parents were civil servants. He graduated a year earlier than me and went back to the public examination to go ashore.
I was successful in my research and spent another two years on campus.
After graduation, I was admitted to a state-owned enterprise, which is not bad.
And my mother, still a person, a dog, guarding a home.
Thirteen years after my dad's death, I was 13 years old.
For dogs, it has entered the twilight years, and it is becoming less and less energetic.
My mother often hugged Xiao Er and refused to let go. No words, only tears flowing silently.
Little Two insisted for more than a year.
In the last days, there was no food or drink, only one breath remained. Before leaving, it suddenly struggled to raise its head and looked at my mother tenderly.
My mom broke down in an instant. She held Xiao Er in her arms and cried bitterly.
She said, child, don't be afraid, there are people waiting for you over there!
Fifteen years after my dad's death.
I'm married.
The night before the wedding, my mom followed me to pack my things.
She especially loves to see my wedding photos.
Because she and my dad hadn't filmed it.
Thinking about my family, my mother is still alone. I couldn't help but feel sorry for her.
I said, Dad has been gone for so long, you still can't put it down?
My mother said, how long, a lifetime? I always felt like your dad didn't leave me. He just gambled with me to teach me a lesson. Who made me not cherish him.
Before, I felt like my mom didn't want to remarry and couldn't find a man who loved her more than my dad.
But only then did I understand that some love will never go away.
It does not disappear into the past because of the departure of a certain person. Nor will it be replaced by a single person in the future.
Loved, and must be in the past tense. Sometimes it is also carried out when.
In 2022, the seventeenth year of my dad's death.
I was pregnant, and my husband bought me a piano and said it was for prenatal education.
One day my mother came to see me, and the sun shone through the floor-to-ceiling windows, folding up the golden fog.
My mom sat in the golden mist and played the song "Moonlight."
I haven't listened to her play the piano for a long time, but she is still so soft and light, like a slowly reversing time.
She wore a white dress and pulled up her long princess-like hair.
My dad didn't seem to have left at all, he was still the hairy boy, fascinated by my mom.
That song is the first life. That glance is ten thousand years.
This year, my mother was 53 years old. But her heart remained with my father forever.
Because of the cherished love of my father, everyone else became a general.
And my mom didn't want to settle down.
I like to watch my mother talk about my father's appearance, how many years, still smiling at the corners of her mouth, like a girl, as if the man who loved her, never left.