When it comes to phoenix men, many people sneer at them, and advise those girls who fall in love with phoenix men to be cautious, it is best to stay away from phoenix men, and do not be dragged down by his original family.
Phoenix men, as the name suggests, refers to men who come from poor backgrounds and live in the city through their own efforts, in terms of ability, they are not lacking, but their original family is a huge burden, so that women are prohibitive.
In addition, the phoenix man also represents a series of "inferior roots" such as miserliness, inferiority, and sensitivity, and is listed as a "marriage object worth vigilance". They and their original families may retain some backward ideas, such as son preference, male superiority and female inferiority, one person to get the ascension of chickens and dogs, etc., which will have strong conflicts with many urban girls after marriage, and the three views are not compatible, and the contradictions between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law and relatives are easy to become fierce.
Liu Liu, the screenwriter of "Double Sided Glue", once said: "In the trivial life of chicken feathers, what women care about most is often not how to resolve the contradiction itself, but in the process of resolving the contradiction, whether the husband is standing behind him." ”
However, the phoenix man was placed on the high hopes of the original family, and from childhood to adulthood, he was taught by his parents that "he wanted to let his family live a good life when he had a job", and he always involuntarily favored the original family, helped his relatives and did not help, and let his wife suffer all grievances.
However, we can't beat all the phoenix men to death with one stick, some phoenix men can carry it clearly, know how to deal with the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, etc., know how to protect their wives, and some phoenix male parents are more sensible and will not add trouble to their sons.
Aunt Hu's son Wu Jiong is a phoenix man, as a mother, Aunt Hu is very sensible and gets along well with her daughter-in-law.
1.
Wu Jiong, 34 years old, married 6 years ago, settled in the city, and has two daughters under his knees.
When Wu Jiong was young, his family was not well-off. Aunt Hu and her husband make a living by farming, although they are very diligent, they go out early and return to work late, but they do not earn much, and they can only barely support their families. From childhood to adulthood, Wu Jiong picked up many clothes and school supplies that were not used by relatives and children to maintain their lives.
Although Aunt Hu has not studied for several years, she has given full support to her son's studies, hoping that her son can be named in the gold list, admitted to a good university, and change the fate of himself and his children. Wu Jiong lived up to expectations, was admitted to a key university, and finally settled down in the provincial city.
Today, Wu Jiong's monthly salary is 30,000, and Aunt Hu and his wife can't make so much money even if they have a year's worth of land. The daughter-in-law is a local, the parents are dual workers, all have pensions, the daughter-in-law's salary is not low, the monthly income is 20,000, and the life of Wu Jiong's family can be regarded as seeing the sunshine.
In the eyes of some relatives, Wu Jiong is an ungrateful and unfilial person, only for two reasons.
First, these relatives have the idea of ascending to heaven as a chicken and a dog, and want to rely on their relatives and past feelings, such as giving their sons old clothes to Wu Jiong, etc., to ask Wu Jiong for some benefits, including borrowing money, helping to find a job, running errands, etc.
They made these demands to Wu Jiong, some of which were quite reasonable, had good character and good reputation, and were agreed to by Wu Jiong's wife, and some were simply reaching out for money, borrowing money and never paying it back, not so much asking for help but being ordered, and Wu Jiong's wife was unceremoniously polite, and Wu Jiong stood on her side and refused to compromise.
Second, Wu Jiong and his wife bought a large four-bedroom apartment in the provincial city, and his wife's parents often came to live, but Wu Jiong's parents almost did not live for a few days, at most Wu Jiong did not have time to come back during the New Year, they used to live for a week and would return, in the eyes of these relatives, Wu Jiong, who did not take his parents to the provincial city to enjoy the blessings, was very unfilial.
For these claims, Wu Jiong's mother gave a firm denial, and scolded the relatives who dared to say bad things about their son in front of her.
2.
In the eyes of Wu Jiong's mother, not only is the son very filial, but the daughter-in-law is even more filial piety, a kind and sensible child.
First of all, in the third year of his son Wu Jiong's graduation, he used his savings to completely renovate the house in his hometown, and there were home appliances such as air conditioners, washing machines, and water heaters, which was enough for Aunt Hu to retire the elderly.
"I don't want to go to the provincial capital yet!" That city is also too big, all high-rise buildings, my son lives on the 32nd floor, I worry every day, you say if the elevator is broken, you have to? Young people may be crawling and moving, and our old two don't want to die? Go to the nearby supermarket to buy a dish, queue up to check out, the automatic checkout machine over there has to pay with a mobile phone, my old wife can't use it. ”
Secondly, Aunt Hu sneered at the idea that the daughter-in-law was not filial piety, thinking that the daughter-in-law was very good and acted like a mother to herself.
"Although I don't live with them, my daughter-in-law has never forgotten me, calls me at least twice a week to greet me, gives me 3,000 alimony every month, I and my wife can't spend it at all, stuffed some money for my granddaughter, and my daughter-in-law also said that I don't want to eat and drink."
Before the outbreak of the epidemic, every year when there was a National Day and the New Year, the daughter-in-law would either return to her hometown to accompany her in-laws or take her in-laws to live in the provincial city for a period of time. The daughter-in-law will arrange a physical examination of the in-laws once a year, and arrange for the in-laws to travel twice.
In the end, Aunt Hu believes that she has average ability, does not have much money, and cannot help her son, but it is the awareness that parents should have without adding chaos.
"Baby doesn't need me to bring it, what did I do in the past?" Plugging up? Some people also asked me why I didn't urge three children and have a grandchild? This kind of thing of giving birth to boys and girls is not up to us women to decide, then we have to ask God. What happened to the granddaughter? The granddaughter is well-behaved and sensible, and does not cause trouble, is not better than the sons who force their fathers to sell their property? My son is not in a hurry, what am I in a hurry? ”
"Alimony 3,000, have a house, go to the city to beg for people to do what?" Isn't it good now? They passed theirs, we passed ours, and when the granddaughters grew up, the sons and daughters-in-law were free, we were old, we lived together again, and it was good to leave comfortably. ”
3
The new writer Gong Gaofeng wrote in "Father's BlackFish": "Daughter-in-law and mother-in-law are natural enemies of each other, do not know how the Creator designed, a generation of mother-in-law and a generation of daughters-in-law, children and grandchildren are infinitely poor." ”
The contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is a hurdle in marriage, and it has passed, the filial piety of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, the love of husband and wife, the harmony of the family, the happiness and satisfaction, the mother-in-law, the daughter-in-law, and the man are all winners in life. Not only can the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law not get along harmoniously, the husband and wife may part ways, the family will be broken, and everyone, including the children, will become losers.
The contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is sharp, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is poor, and it is not only the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law who are unlucky, but also men. Men are not only the key figures in mediating the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, but also the most guilty person in the mother-in-law conflict.
Help the wife, there is the mother who gave birth to himself, has the grace of birth and nurture, disobeys the mother, and his conscience cannot go over; the help mother, there is the lover who leaves his parents who love him and entrusts his life to him, the mother of his children, the person who wants to grow old with him, and he has failed her, and he has carried the hat of a scumbag.
Therefore, instead of thinking about how to bully the daughter-in-law, let the daughter-in-law taste the suffering she has suffered, and rob the son with the daughter-in-law, it is better to feel sorry for your son, don't let him be a person inside and outside?
Children and grandchildren have their own children and grandchildren, at this age, if you can't help your children too much, take care of yourself, as late as possible to let your children take on the responsibility of taking care of you, even if it is a big help to your children.
As the psychologist Sylvia Claire said, "All love in the world has the ultimate goal of aggregation, and only one kind of love has the purpose of separation, and that is the love of parents for their children." The true successful love of parents is to separate children from your life as an independent individual as soon as possible, and the sooner this separation, the more successful you will be. ”
Hello, hello, hello everyone, if a parent wants his son to be good, he must be good to his daughter-in-law.
END.
XiaoQi asked you to comment: Do you think Aunt Hu is right? Feel free to share your views in the comments section.