Some time ago, several sisters with relatively good relations in the university gathered, and everyone talked about the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. It is said that the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are the most difficult to get along with, and the family also has to stage a drama of intrigue from time to time, and some people have even fought with the mother-in-law. When I was asked how my relationship with my mother-in-law was, I found that I was the only one of the seven or eight people who had been with my mother-in-law for more than ten years and had never had a red face. In this decade, it is impossible to say that there is no contradiction at all. Sometimes there are some views on each other, but there has never been a quarrel, let alone a fight, this is a fact, in general, life is quite harmonious. To be able to live in harmony like this for ten years, and basically live together every day, it is indeed not an easy task to think about. I have lived with my mother-in-law for ten years, but I have never had a contradiction, what did I do right?
1 In-depth understanding of Shakespeare said: "Sloppy marriage is less happy". It can be seen how important it is to have a deep understanding of each other before marriage. In-depth understanding is not only to understand each other themselves, but also to understand each other's families and parents. Often in the public account will see such a case, two people married because of love, the result of marriage, because of the man's family all kinds of messy things tormented the husband and wife have no feelings, and finally ended in divorce. This is because there is no understanding of each other's family and parents in advance, and after marriage, it is found that the three views are incompatible and cannot be integrated. For women, to marry, is not to marry a person, but to marry a family. Therefore, before marriage, we must contact each other's families more, and look at the in-laws' personality from the details. Distinguishing between right and wrong, good and evil is a must, and it is also the basic quality of being a human being. If this is not even possible, then the family absolutely cannot marry. It would be better if there were one or two obvious advantages in these basic qualities. The first time I went to my mother-in-law's house, I saw my mother-in-law cut apples and watermelons into small pieces and inserted toothpicks for me to eat, and I felt very warm. My guests at home, apples and pears and other small fruits, my mother is directly washed for people to eat, occasionally cut from the middle, but never cut into small pieces like this. Some people may say, this is very common, everyone does it. But ten years ago in the countryside, I had never seen anyone else do this, I had seen my mother-in-law do it alone. From this point of view, I initially judged that my mother-in-law is a diligent and not afraid of trouble. Occasionally, I know from my husband's phone call that my mother-in-law is still washing clothes at 10:11 p.m., and I am more and more sure of this advantage of my mother-in-law. Of course, after getting married, this advantage of my mother-in-law benefited me a lot. For example, the three meals a day at home are basically cooked by my mother-in-law. Many contradictions can be eliminated, and it is also for this reason.
2 Lower expectations He Jiong once said in a program: "The mother-in-law does not like the daughter-in-law, it cannot be said that the mother-in-law is wrong." Because the mother-in-law herself has no obligation to like the daughter-in-law, the mother-in-law likes the daughter-in-law, which is the daughter-in-law's ability, not the mother-in-law's obligation." I agree with that statement. Although it sounds inhumane, this is the essence of the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. I have always disagreed that my daughter-in-law should treat her mother-in-law as a mother-in-law, and my mother-in-law should treat her daughter-in-law as a daughter, which I think is anti-human. If your mother-in-law says so, don't take it seriously. Daughters are a piece of flesh that falls from the mother's body, they are related by blood and nurturing grace, and more importantly, in the process of parenting, the feelings established between mothers and children cannot be replaced. Mothers' efforts to their children are involuntary and instinctive. Between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, but because of a man, it became a family, and there was nothing else. Therefore, emotionally, we must lower our expectations for our mother-in-law. There used to be such a phenomenon in our family, as long as my husband was at home at night, our family's dinner was very rich, and we had to fry several dishes, and all of them were my husband's favorite food. If my husband is not there, I will only stir-fry one dish for dinner. My mother-in-law's reason is that my husband is picky about eating, not to fry a few dishes, and to pick and choose when eating. I believe that many sisters have also encountered such a situation, but I have never been angry with my mother-in-law because of this. Because I understand that my mother-in-law's dedication to our little family is based on her relationship with my husband. I wasn't her biological child, and it was normal for her not to want to simply give for me. It's because I didn't expect anything from her, so she did, and I wasn't angry. Besides, after eating my mother's craft, the food cooked by my mother-in-law is actually not for my appetite. Later, when my husband was not at home, I asked my mother-in-law to leave my dinner alone and make food for myself. Mother and daughter are related by blood, and mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are social relations. Lower expectations for your mother-in-law, and everything you encounter is a surprise.
3 can tolerate each other, if there is no contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, they should be more tolerant of each other. My mother-in-law works hard, but many of her habits are different from mine. For example, I must brush the bottom of the pot clean, I don't want to see oil stains on the bottom of the pot, my mother-in-law brushes the pot only in the pot, not outside the pot. I have said this matter to my mother-in-law several times, probably too much, once my mother-in-law replied to me: You always say brush the bottom of the pot, but I asked my classmates, they are like me, do not brush the bottom of the pot. At this time, do I want to go down with her, if I do, it will hurt my feelings, damage my emotions, and there will be contradictions between my mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. If for the bottom of this pot, who is angry and sick, and finally I have to pay for the medical expenses, get angry and fold the money, it will be too worthless. Therefore, I did not speak again, and when I saw the oil on the bottom of the pot, I silently washed it off myself. Later, my aunt came to the house (my mother-in-law's sister) and saw that there was oil on the bottom of the pot, so she taught my mother-in-law how to remove the oil stain at the bottom of the pot, and my mother-in-law listened to her sister the most. After that, my mother-in-law said that she still had to brush the bottom of the pot, otherwise she would accumulate too much and it would be difficult to handle, and she would also start brushing the bottom of the pot. My mother-in-law could not wash the dishes cleanly, once went to my sister-in-law's house, washed the dishes did not wash clean, was said by my sister-in-law. When I got home and told me about it, I told her that she hadn't washed it at home, and I washed her dishes again. Later she paid attention to this. There are too many trivial things in life, and it is really not worth arguing, brains, and hurting emotions for those trivial things. Those small things, can not be solved to put down for the time being, not solved at that time, maybe the back will be inadvertently solved.
My mother-in-law and I can get along for ten years without contradiction, and a big reason is that we are all people who can tolerate each other, and we are all big things and small things. It is not an easy task for mother-in-law and daughter-in-law to get along harmoniously. Before getting married, learn more about the situation of the in-laws, after marriage, emotionally reduce expectations, and learn to be tolerant in life. The feelings between people are both two-way, and the same is true for mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. If we want to live in harmony, not one person's efforts will bear fruit, but we must first do ourselves well. Of course, if you really encounter a strange mother-in-law, the ordinary normal method is not very effective, less contact is enough. Author: Mai Gu Qiqi, a student of the 68th class of Tang Xiaoxiao's basic class, has been a program ape and has been a second-born mother of the company's finance, but left the blue eye to writing, and life is always on the road. Graph source network