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A daughter-in-law's pregnancy is a good thing. However, the mother-in-law frowned bitterly. Surprises didn't come quickly, because she, like her daughter-in-law, was pregnant.
The daughter-in-law is 7 months pregnant and the mother-in-law is 3 months pregnant.
The mother-in-law was pregnant with the second child at the age of 49, the daughter-in-law and the mother-in-law were pregnant at the same time, but the daughter-in-law opposed the mother-in-law to have a second child, the daughter-in-law was pregnant with a grandchild, the mother-in-law was pregnant with her second child, the palms of her hands and the backs of her hands were all meat, no wonder the mother-in-law would be embarrassed.
The mother-in-law is 49 years old, and the son has married a daughter-in-law, indicating that the mother-in-law married relatively early, and now the daughter-in-law and the mother-in-law are pregnant, which was originally a good thing, but it stimulated the contradiction between the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law.
The first aspect: from the mother-in-law's point of view, it will feel that the daughter-in-law is quite unreasonable
The second child may be an accident, or it may be that the mother-in-law has always wanted the second child.
In the past, only children were encouraged, many families only had one child, especially teachers, and most civil servant families only had one baby, and after the opening of the second child, some one-child families wanted children.
Although many couples have only one child, they have always had a dream of having a second child. The son has already married his daughter-in-law, and the daughter-in-law is also pregnant, so it is reasonable to say that the mother-in-law should not be pregnant at this time, and it may also be that the mother-in-law's second child is an accident.
The mother-in-law may feel that the daughter-in-law opposes her desire for a second child, the daughter-in-law is unreasonable, and it is her right to have a second child.
The second aspect: from the daughter-in-law's point of view, the daughter-in-law will feel that the mother-in-law does not understand
Originally, I still expected my mother-in-law to take care of confinement and watch the child, but now that my mother-in-law is pregnant at the same time as herself, after the birth of the child, do you still have to help take care of your mother-in-law? The daughter-in-law is very bad at thinking about it.
In-laws will get older, when they lose their ability to take care of themselves, or have no financial ability, their children are likely to become a burden on their husbands in the future, but the two children of their own can not afford it, how can they bear one more child?
The third aspect: it is recommended that the mother-in-law negotiate well with the daughter-in-law and choose a result that is acceptable to both parties
The daughter-in-law is 7 months pregnant and the mother-in-law is pregnant for 3 months, indicating that the daughter-in-law is pregnant before, the mother-in-law is pregnant after, and the daughter-in-law's opposition is so fierce, indicating that the mother-in-law has not done a good job in the work of the daughter-in-law.
The mother-in-law has the right to procreate, but she cannot force the daughter-in-law to raise her second child with her son.
If the in-laws themselves are fully capable of raising their children as adults and will not drag down the eldest son, they can negotiate well with them, and if the daughter-in-law can accept it, everyone is happy.
The father-in-law takes care of his wife and the second child, and the son takes care of his wife and children, going back to his own home and looking for his own father and mother.
Once the babies of the two families are born, it is estimated that they are overwhelmed, and the mother-in-law does not complain that the son cannot take care of his mother, after all, they are all the roads they choose, and the son is also difficult to balance at both ends.
If the mother-in-law is determined to have a second child, she should consider bearing the anger of the eldest son, in case the daughter-in-law is separated from the son, the son may blame the mother.
Mother-in-law to have a second child is not wrong, the daughter-in-law opposes the mother-in-law to have a second child is also excusable, from the perspective of both sides, there are their own grievances, but the family has a difficult scripture, I hope that both sides can negotiate well, are adults, as long as they can bear the consequences, do not regret it.
What realistic factors do women over the age of 40 need to consider if they want to have a second child?
1. Economic ability
As the saying goes, financial ability determines a person's right to speak at home.
If you have enough money and the child is born, you can ask the nanny to take care of the child, take care of the confinement of the mother, do not need the children to help, and do not drag the children down.
If you want to have a second child, money is the biggest confidence.
However, if the economic aspect is not abundant, and you still need to rely on children to support, or if the parents' salary is only enough to spend on their own, in this case, it is really prudent to have a second child, and it is best not to make impulsive plans.
After all, it is easy to have children, but it is difficult to raise a baby!
Although the 67-year-old Ms. Tian and her husband's pension add up to more than 10,000 yuan, they can support their children and do not have to rely on their children, but Ms. Tian's husband still insists on going to work, thinking that she also takes into account the future parenting and education costs of her children.
The cost of raising and educating a child, from the birth of the child to the child's graduation from college, costs 400,000-600,000 yuan.
If the second child is a boy, there will be large expenses such as houses, cars, and bride price in the future, which is a heavy burden for parents.
Having been raising children for most of their lives, the couple was relieved to finally have time to travel and relax, but having a child meant that everything would be disrupted.
2. The support of children
Ms. Tian, 67, gave birth to a baby girl at an advanced age, and when she became pregnant unexpectedly, her daughter did not support her in giving birth.
However, the couple is obstinate, and they think that this is something they can do.
When Ms. Tian gave birth to children, most of them were taken care of by her husbands, and later they slowly resumed their relationship with their daughters.
Having a child at an advanced age will really destroy the feelings between parents and children, after all, it is the parents' own business to have a first child, and the second child must consider the opinions of other children.
In "Little Joy", Tong Wenjie is pregnant with a second child, and the couple is hesitant about whether to have a second child.
After Fang Yifan knew, not only did not get angry, but encouraged his mother to have a child, after all, he left home to go to college, the family was deserted, if he had a second child, there were children to accompany them.
However, not all children are as sensible and considerate as Fang Yifan.
In the TV series "Young Pi", Wang Shengnan accidentally became pregnant, and the couple was overjoyed and looked forward to the arrival of the child. Unexpectedly, the secret of the two was discovered by the daughter, and the husband Lin da excitedly told the daughter, "Lin Miaomiao, congratulations, you are going to have a little brother or little sister!" ”
When the daughter heard her father's words, she was not surprised but frightened, "Is this the coming-of-age gift you gave me?" I'm 18 years old and I don't need that anymore."
Perhaps when the only child was a child, he once longed for a blood brother and sister.
However, as the child grows up, the child has adapted to such a life, and one person enjoys the favor of his parents, and there is no way to accept the arrival of another child.
Wang Shengnan once talked to her husband that her mother gave birth to a second child, and she was not adaptable at first, but later she and her sister were very close, and the feelings were particularly good.
However, her daughter did not think so, and even felt that her mother was pregnant at such an old age and could not accept this reality for a while.
3. The right person to bring a baby
The reason why children oppose their parents to have a second child, in addition to financial reasons, more importantly, they are afraid that they will help their parents share the responsibility of having children.
In case the old man has any accidents, it means that the second child is the responsibility of Dabao, and such a trust is too heavy for the small age of Dabao.
In the TV series "Young Pi", Wang Shengnan and her husband also have this worry, thinking that the child is right, but did not shake their determination to have a second child, they decided to save more money for the second child.
The movie "My Sister" Sister Enron is preparing for graduate school and going to Beijing, and she has her own life dreams.
However, all this is shattered by an accident, her parents die unexpectedly, she sees her brother for the first time, and relatives and friends advise her eldest sister to take on the responsibility of raising children like a mother.
However, she has her own ideals, she feels that life is not only her brother, but her brother said to her, "Sister, I only have you."
The second child brother was born after her parents went to college, without her consent, the parents thought they could grow up with the child, but did not expect that the second child became the responsibility of the sister, facing the young and naughty brother, the sister was forced to grow up, both helpless and realistic, the sister's crying and despair made people feel painful.
epilogue
What are the risks of pregnancy in older women?
In "Little Joy", Tong Wenjie was told that she was pregnant, and the other party asked her to think clearly about whether to have this child.
She is 43 years old, is an advanced maternal age, if she decides to have a child, she needs to face a series of problems, after all, the body is far from when she was young, pregnancy is prone to various complications, the possibility of difficult childbirth will increase, even if lucky to give birth to a baby, the recovery of the body is relatively slow.
It's really easy to have children, but it's hard to raise children.
The optimal age for women to have children is 25-30 years old. If a woman wants a second child, it is best to get pregnant before the age of 35, and the earlier the child is, the easier it is for the woman's body to recover.
Over 35 years old is an advanced maternal age, and if a woman becomes pregnant after the age of 35, these 3 factors must be considered.
To have a second child is the selfish heart of parents, we must make preparations for the economy and human hands in advance, do not let the second child become the burden of the treasure, we must not only have children, but also have to be able to raise children.