A Q&A platform saw such a question: What do middle-aged people with general family conditions but insist on having a second child think?
One respondent used his own personal experience to describe in detail how he became stranger to his parents because of his second-born brother. Finally, she also reluctantly warned the reader: "Seriously, if your parents still want to have a second child when you are 20 years old, if you can persuade it, please persuade it!" ”
The conditions are general, and it is necessary to have children in middle age
The girl made it clear that the conditions in her home were actually very average, but she knew from an early age that her parents always wanted a son. Although she is a girlfriend, her mother's uterine fibroids are difficult to conceive, and she has never been pregnant. Although the family relationship is not very close, it can also be justified with harmony.
Everything changed when she was 22 years old, when her brother was born, and it was then that she realized that maybe her daughter had never been expected by her parents.
The girl said that she graduated from 211 university, entered a foreign company after graduation, and could get a salary of 26,000 at the age of 22, which is definitely a high-income group among her peers. Even if the income is so high, but she never dares to spend more money, colleagues together, she is always particularly inferior. Because her salary was forced by her parents to leave, she gave her family 15,000 yuan a month, plus 5,000 rent, and only 6,000 yuan was left for her every month. Colleagues gather for dinner and organize activities, and they dare not participate more.
The huge expenses made the girl have the urge to work part-time, so she prepared to open a small shop with friends. The small shop needs to start the capital, the girl will discuss with her parents, anyway, the brother is not yet 1 year old, can you give 1000 every month, milk powder, diapers these 1000 are enough. Who knew that this proposal completely angered her parents, who did not hesitate to cross thousands of miles from their hometown to take the high-speed rail to ask her for money.
After refusing to continue giving money, she saw her mother post a status in the circle of friends: "You never know what you have raised." She said that at that moment, she really felt that it was better to die. Across the screen, you can feel the girl's full of grievances.
As a mother, I really can't imagine why I can be so eccentric, just because the second son is a son, you can ignore the death or death of your daughter? Vampire parents are so angry!
The girl said that if someone had told her 5 or 6 years ago that she would turn her face to her parents because of "money", she would never have believed it. But since the birth of my brother, my parents seem to have become the most familiar strangers.
They are thinking about their younger brothers, afraid that their old brothers will not be able to rely on, afraid that their brothers will not have a good life in the future, so they try to squeeze their daughters. Completely forget that the child who works alone in a foreign country also needs their love.
At the end of the answer, the girl asked her parents: You said let me raise my brother, said that I will rely on my brother in the future, I am a 22-year-old person, the salary is high in the same age, the job is easy, the promotion potential is great, why should I rely on a brother who is 20 years younger than me? When he is 20 I am 42, what do I rely on him?
She swore to her parents: From this month on, I will not pay again! I have my own job, my life, your son raises himself, what to do with me!
To be honest it really hurts this girl, alone in a foreign country I know a girl is struggling outside. Looking at the words and deeds of her parents, she completely treats her daughter as a humanoid cash machine, and ignores her affection for the future of her son. Such selfish parents, it is no wonder that the daughter can not bear it.
The 24-year-old girl refused to adopt her 4-year-old brother, and her parents filed a complaint against her
Because of the custody of the second child, there are not a few families that have clashed with the boss, and I have seen a 24-year-old girl ask for help on the Weibo of a famous lawyer.
She said she graduated from college two years ago, just got a stable job, and learned five years ago that her parents were pregnant. Because the family conditions are not good, parents have been dissuaded to be cautious, after all, their tuition fees are earned by bursaries and extracurricular part-time jobs, how can the family still have money to raise a second child?
But the parents did not trust the girl's opinion, and when the winter vacation came home, the younger brother had been born. The mother's health has deteriorated at an advanced age, and the father has always been a "nest" Without financial resources, the family that is not rich is suddenly in debt.
After graduating from college, she stayed in the provincial city to work, but after 2 years, her parents insisted that she go back to raise her brother. For the sake of her career, she explicitly refused, but a month later she received a summons from the court: a complaint in which her parents demanded that she fulfill her guardianship duties. The girls whose salaries were almost all given to their parents to raise their younger brothers and who could not afford to hire a professional lawyer for themselves had to go online for help.
Many people comforted her that she did not have to take care of her vampire parents, and the more such people took care of them, the higher they jumped. But the lawyer said the girl had a good chance of losing the case.
Originally, Article 29 of the Mainland's Marriage Law clearly stipulated that brothers and sisters who can afford it have the obligation to support minor brothers and sisters whose parents have died or whose parents are unable to support them. Brothers and sisters who are raised by their brothers and sisters who can afford it have the obligation to support their brothers and sisters who lack the ability to work and lack a source of livelihood.
That is to say, if the law determines that the parents do not have the ability to raise the second child, the sister must bear the responsibility of guardian. Some people also analyzed that the sister may have to raise her brother until she is 12 years old.
Obviously, this result is very unfair to the girl. Obviously, she had tried to dissuade her, and her parents knew that they were unable to raise them, and they insisted on being born, but the consequences of all this had to be borne by the girl alone, and the reality was sometimes so helpless.
Should middle-aged people continue to have babies?
Now that the third child is released, many middle-aged families are beginning to stir, but these two stories remind us that there should be many factors to consider for middle-aged children.
First of all, there is no strong economic strength, forget it
Raising children is not only to be "raised", but also "nurtured". If you can't provide a good educational environment for your children, it is really not recommended to drag another baby to see this messy society.
Parenthood is a responsibility, a responsibility. There is no certain economic foundation, but like the two pairs of parents mentioned above, from the very beginning, they have thrown the burden of raising a baby to the boss, and advised parents with this kind of thinking not to have children. Isn't it delicious to eat and drink with the money given by the boss? Why do we need to make more individuals, moral kidnapping?
Second, respect the boss
Middle-aged parents have babies, and they should consider the opinions of the boss more. After all, the boss has become an adult, and the child will have his own more mature ideas about it. Of course, I don't have to worry too much about the older children's dislike of younger siblings, I have a spoiled sister crazy demon around me. The difference between the two brothers and sisters is 19 years old, when the parents accidentally became pregnant, I thought that the son would object, who knew that my brother just took a look, and happily planned to take my sister to the next day.
Therefore, it is recommended that middle-aged people should have babies, at least respect the idea of the eldest child, at least ask the boss what he thinks.
Finally, the "energy problem" of middle-aged people needs to be considered.
It cannot be denied that middle-aged people with babies are certainly not as young as young people in terms of energy. The experience of Sheng Hailin, who once gave birth at an advanced age, may be able to give middle-aged parents some inspiration. Some media asked her how she felt after giving birth at an advanced age, and she replied: "In it, happiness is temporary, more is pressure and responsibility, there are far-sighted and near-term worries." ”
When asked: "Will you consider it again?" ”。 Sheng Hailin sighed and said, "I will think twice!" ”
Sheng Hailin, who gave birth at an advanced age, exposed the energy problem more thoroughly, and her sentence "I will think twice" is a kind of advice to parents who do not have the energy to take care of their children.
Finally, I would like to say that every parent has the right to have children, but having children is not as simple as "having children". Which of the child's education, outlook on life, and values will not affect the child's happiness in life? When the parents just want to give birth, find a boss who can suck blood to raise, or put up with it. Such a consequence, not only the second elder is not well raised, the boss will also be farther and farther away from you.
Today's topic: How do you think about those middle-aged people who have very general family conditions but insist on having babies? Are there any such people around? Feel free to leave a message in the comments section.