Question: Men love rural life, women are keen to buy houses in the city, why is the difference between men and women so big?
Text/Jiang Zi shushu
There is a popular saying in China in recent years, which is like this: "Men work hard to earn money to buy a house, in order to have the confidence to get married; Women work hard to earn money to buy a house in order to have the courage not to get married."
It is said that China's housing prices are not fried by the speculation groups everywhere, but by the mother-in-law of the whole country, only the man has no house in the city, and the snobbish mother-in-law will beat the mandarin duck and not allow the daughter to marry.
Contrary to the woman, the man has no obsession with buying a house in the city, and men born in the countryside generally feel that the air in the countryside is good, there is no pressure in life, spend a few years to build a house, and then plant some vegetables at home, that is, all year round at home do not make money, and hunger does not die, every day is a pension life.
Why is there such a big difference between men and women in this matter? Why do women generally prefer to live in the city, while men generally prefer to live in the countryside and live with their parents and siblings?
Most men feel that it is because today's women are too materialistic, too depraved, too vain, not as simple and kind as their men, and heavy on feelings.
In fact, the state of marriage in China, by and large, still stays at the level of old-fashioned traditional marriage, and the situation of both men and women in marriage is completely unequal.
For example, no man can tolerate a woman as a "brother demon", but men are all real "brother demons"!
The so-called "brother support demon" refers to the fact that women in marriage do not have the concept of small family, put their parents and brothers first, always contribute money to supplement the mother's family, and finally paste it to the younger brother, for such a woman, now men are almost gritted teeth and deeply hated.
However, traditional marriage is essentially a woman marrying into the in-laws' family, rather than a small family of both men and women, in the hearts of most Chinese men, their parents are ranked first, and even the fundamental reason for their marriage is to filial piety to their parents, their brothers and sisters and various related relatives are ranked second, and the wife is definitely the bottom one.
In rural areas, even if a good husband is regarded by everyone, he is single-minded to his wife, never gets into trouble, and when the interests of his parents, brothers and sisters and others conflict with his wife, men must instinctively sacrifice their wives to protect the interests of their families.
In this regard, men are all righteous and strong, and they feel that filial piety comes first, isn't this all right? If women think like they do, they will definitely jump to their feet, thinking that women are elbowing outwards, and they are not son-in-law.
The original ecological family group is too tight, regardless of inside and outside, is the common disease of most men, most rural areas and even small towns, husband and wife together to pay for the self-built house, land certificate in the name of the father-in-law, are accustomed to things, and even men put their houses and cars under the names of brothers and sisters, or give them to brothers and sisters, they feel that it is normal.
All of the above is the real reason why most women reject rural life and desire to buy a house in the city, and what women really want is only to be able to make independent decisions, rather than being surrounded by seven aunts and eight aunts of men, and artificially knife me for fish and meat.
Women's reluctance to live in the countryside has little to do with whether a man's family has money or not and whether they can suffer hardships. In fact, from ancient times to the present, the ability of Chinese women to bear hardships and stand hard work is a hundred times that of men, and women who are afraid of poverty will not come to this step.
Men, as vested interests, naturally feel that the atmosphere of rural crowding together is "mutual care", "motherly kindness and filial piety", men's parents and siblings will always habitually exploit women for men, men will naturally habitually squeeze their own women for their parents and siblings, in the name of filial piety, no one will ever consider women's interests.
Even being able to plan for the daughter and not hesitate to be the mother-in-law of the evil person is a very small minority in the countryside, and most of the traditional mother-in-law is speaking to the man, threatening and seducing by any means, actively pressing the daughter to the ground, allowing the in-laws to punch and kick, in order to be able to exchange the man's family for help when her son is married. You see, this is the fate of non-only women in the countryside.
Jiang Zi believes that traditional marriage is a wonderful tool for the patriarchal society to train women as vassals, and not allowing women to show their faces to obtain the ability to survive alone is its auxiliary measure. Therefore, traditional education always viciously teaches girls how to be cattle and horses, and serve the men and adults in the family.
For example, the men in "Double Sided Tape", only a small citizen like Li Juan's father, may become a good man who treats his wife well, and is willing to spoil his wife into a little princess for a lifetime in exchange for a win-win marriage.
Whether it is Su Daqiang in "All Is Well" or the traditional villager in the small way of Li Juan and her father-in-law in "Double Sided Tape", it will inevitably be a tragedy for women in marriage.
Since the conflict between men and women is so intense, what does the future hold? Jiang Zi believes that marriage will not die, but the parasites attached to traditional marriage are being eliminated.
The information in this article is mainly quoted from: "Double Sided Tape", "All Is Good"