Click below to follow "Child-friendly science theory"
Learn scientific parenting knowledge for free
Now prices are rising, and the cost of childcare is also rising. In addition to the degree of food and clothing of the baby, the daily household expenses are not a small amount.
Many families are elderly people helping to bring babies, but the feedback of each family on this phenomenon is different.
Some children will regularly give the elderly a hard fee to thank the elderly for their hard work with their babies and the difficulty of taking care of the family. Some elderly people not only do not want their children's money, but will subsidize their children with some households.
These methods of handling, once there is a disagreement, are prone to family conflicts.
Dissatisfied with paying the mother-in-law's money
The couple is in danger of divorce
Recently, a couple in Chongqing fell out because of the problem of the mother-in-law bringing the baby and not giving money, almost leaving the originally complete family to pieces!
Ms. Wu gave birth to a daughter, who currently earns 4,000 yuan a month, while her husband, Mr. Shi, earns 15,000 yuan a month. Both were busy with work, so the husband wanted Ms. Wu's mother to help with the children.
She believes that although her parents are happy to bring children, but why her husband's family does not have to exert any effort, she proposed to let her husband give her parents 6,000 yuan a month for hard work.
Although 6,000 yuan sounds like a lot, it includes all kinds of expenses and miscellaneous expenses for children, as well as buying vegetables and cooking, cleaning and cleaning.
"In fact, my parents are very willing to take the child, I just feel wronged, why my parents take the child, his family does not have any strength, so he proposed that my parents can bring it, but every month he has to give 6,000 yuan to his parents."
After hearing this, the husband strongly objected, and the two also quarreled and broke up unhappily.
After the quarrel, Mr. Shi returned to his parents' house, and not long after, his mother-in-law called and said ms. Wu with a split face, and she filed for divorce in a huff.
Perhaps what makes Ms. Wu most angry is not that her husband is unwilling to give her mother-in-law 6,000 yuan, but after the two quarreled, the husband did not calm down and solve it, but instead stabbed the matter to the in-laws, and the family unanimously counted themselves down!
If you are Ms. Wu, as a daughter-in-law, would you not be angry when you encounter such a situation?
As soon as this matter came out, netizens exploded! They all said that Mr. Shi was a bit overdone.
It is reasonable to say that Mr. Shi's monthly salary is 15,000 yuan, and giving his mother-in-law 6,000 yuan should not be a big problem, why is he so strongly opposed?
Originally, Mr. Shi thought that he had a lot of monthly salary on the surface, but he was still carrying a mortgage behind him, and his wife did not have a job during pregnancy, and the daily expenses of the family after the birth of the child were more, all relying on him to support the family, which was too difficult!
Privately, it is not easy for a person to carry a mortgage and living expenses, but it is not easy for the mother-in-law to help with the baby!
Mothers with babies should know how hard it is to work, the mother-in-law came to help buy vegetables and cook, take care of the children, wash, sweep the floor, buy clothes, milk powder, toys....
In this way, most of the 6,000 yuan is for children! Then the husband does not want to give out a penny, and he still plays missing, and the mother-in-law and wife are too depressed!
Same problem
Different positions have different views
I have to say that there are many such contradictions in life today, and there are countless similar incidents on the Internet!
In order to listen to everyone's real thoughts, our editorial department collected the opinions of many netizens and interviewed the company's male and female compatriots, "If the baby's grandmother takes the baby, do you want to give money?" ”
Some male colleagues said this:
Male A: Not I can decide, to be honest, ms. Wu's family situation is very similar to mine, but my salary is handed over to my wife, she can do whatever she wants, I can't control it!
Male B: Although the economic pressure itself is a bit large, I can't give a lot, but I have to give a little more or less, and I am already very grateful to help us with the baby.
Male C: If the mother-in-law helps with the baby and thinks that the same money should be given, then there is no reason why the mother-in-law should not give it. The key is not to double standard and treat differently.
It seems that there are still many good men at home.
And women, most of them feel the same:
Female A: After giving birth, I took it for a while and knew how tired I was. Later, when I thought about finding a new job, I asked my mother for help. So it hurts her so much that giving money is really deserved.
Female B: Money must be given, the old man with children so hard, but also to buy vegetables to wash and cook, always can not let the old man pay for their own pockets, treat them as something!
Female C: The old man with children is not an obligation, I discussed with my husband, quietly opened an account, and paid my mother on time every month, not much money, but also the heart.
As women, we are very able to understand the hard work of carrying a baby, there is no most tired, only more tired! It really hurts everyone with a baby, especially the elderly, not to give some baby fees, how to go too carelessly!
Playing with the baby requires desperate efforts
But there are also some netizens who do not approve of giving money, for many reasons: the economic pressure is too great, there is really no money for the elderly; it is normal for the elderly to bring their own grandchildren...
"Because the conditions at home are not good, I asked the elderly to bring it, every month the mortgage, various expenses at home, there are too many places to use money, almost moonlight, there is really no money to give."
"The old man with the child is the right thing to do, the family does not speak two words, what to talk about to give money?"
"Although it is the mother-in-law to take the child, I am not good at letting her do things, so I go back to work to take the children, cook, wash clothes, and clean up, I really don't feel much easier."
Whether to give money or not, it really has its own position and its own opinion, what do you think?
Behind the dispute
Maybe it's the inequality of paying
Whatever the cause, disputes between marriages are more about problems with the handling of intimate relationships.
Someone once said:
"Behind every broken mom, there's a dormant dad."
Many times, mom's anger and madness are because of dad's inaction.
From Ms. Wu's complaints to the husband's behavior of finding his parents to "crusade" his wife after an argument, you can feel Ms. Wu's grievances and unwillingness, and more importantly, she cannot feel her partner's dedication to the family. Only when trust is lost will money be more concerned.
Whether it is a mother-in-law or a mother-in-law, the old man's efforts are worthy of recognition and gratitude, and should not be treated differently. But in the operation of a small family, the husband and wife are the main responsible persons.
There is a saying that goes: love is to share the wind and rain, to share the glory.
A happy marriage is not a mother blindly paying, and the father sitting and enjoying its success, not unilaterally moving, but running in both directions.
The child is not the mother's alone, and the home is not a hotel.
Dad's participation and dedication are the best glue for a family and a marriage.
Image source: 123RF genuine gallery
The article comes from the network BGI Mother and Baby
If there is any infringement, please inform us of the deletion