1． The lights at home are broken, and I can't fix them, so I look for brother Wang next door to help. As soon as Brother Wang came in, he closed the door! I nervously said, "Will others misunderstand that we have something unseemly?"

1． The lights at home are broken, and I can't fix them, so I look for brother Wang next door to help. As soon as Brother Wang came in, he closed the door! I said nervously, "Will others misunderstand that we have something unseemly?" Brother Wang said angrily, "What are you afraid of two big men?" ”

2． Went to Foxconn for an interview, just went into the interview room personnel director said that the WiFi password is: 12345678! I kept typing in the password incorrectly, but I didn't dare ask. After 10 minutes, the head of personnel asked: Is it connected? I replied: Not yet. So the personnel supervisor took it and entered: 2444666668888888! Am I not passing the interview now? I didn't expect the answer to such a simple question!

3． During the New Year, Dumb went to see his uncle with gifts, and the uncle clamored to introduce his girlfriend to Dumb. Old uncle: "Little stupid, your uncle and I have no other skills, that is, women know a lot, who called us a marriage agency?" The old man's buddy said: "Do you know more women I know, home address, phone number, like anything, I know!" Dumb asked the brothers of the uncle: "Uncle, are you also opening a marriage agency?" The old man interjected: "Don't listen to him, he is delivering the courier!" ”

4． My girlfriend said she was going to invite me to dinner, and on the weekend this day she called me home. Looking at the sumptuous meal she made, my saliva was about to flow. Just say to the girlfriend: "Your husband really has a blessing, marry to..." The girlfriend: "Don't say it's useless, eat it quickly, he will make us dinner in a while, no matter how difficult it is, you have to eat a few bites, you can't let him know that I can cook." ”

5． My uncle worked as a security guard at the medical university, and last night there was a Porsche parked outside the door to pick up the student sister. In line with the principle of protecting the students, the uncle said to the girl: Girl, it is too late to go out. The owner of the car looked at his uncle disdainfully, returned to the car for 1 minute, and the security office called to let him go. The girl also said proudly: Isn't it not let out? Isn't it the same as having to open the door? Uncle just wants to say: Sister, uncle can block the rogue from entering the door, but he can't stop you from willingly degenerating!

6． I am a rich and handsome graduate of Tsinghua University, and I was fascinated by fried bones, and then I threw all 50 million yuan in my family. As a result, in less than half a year, I lost all my essence, so I borrowed wine all day to pour sorrow, feeling that I was about to die. On this day, I shouted to the sky: Oh my God, you will use money to kill me! The girlfriend said quietly: Is it okay to use coins?

7 My husband and I divorced because of a disagreement, and he asked me not to tell his family first. Before my father-in-law knew it, I borrowed 80,000 yuan and ran away by train. On the train, I was sitting with a pregnant woman. I said: Big sister, you have been here for a few months? The pregnant woman smiled and said: Eight months! Then, the pregnant woman looked at my big belly and asked: What about you? I was momentarily dumbfounded: me? Eight years!

8 On this day, the husband was playing with the newly purchased mobile phone, and the wife came to the side. Wife: "I heard an Antarctic explorer say that Antarctica is very cold, everyone can't speak, if they open their mouths, they may freeze to death." Husband: "Oh, I see! The wife wondered, "What do you understand?" Husband: "Understand why women never participate in Antarctic expeditions." ”

9 I've been dating my girlfriend for 3 years and I've been hiding it from my family, but now it's time to talk to my family about getting married. Her mother said to me, "Boy, you can marry my daughter if you want, but you have to add another one!" I looked at my girlfriend's sister next to me, scratched my head and said, "Uh, auntie, this... Isn't it? Her mother: "What's wrong?" You marry my daughter-in-law, me and her father two old people, you have to choose one to retire. ”

#Funny# #搞笑段子 #