1, the female boss's computer is broken, call me in the middle of the night to repair, as a result, when I repair the computer, there is not even a place to sit. She cut some durian for me and asked, "Your pants are so dirty."

1, the female boss's computer is broken, call me in the middle of the night to repair, as a result, when I repair the computer, there is not even a place to sit. She cut some durian for me and asked, "Why are you sitting on my bed with your pants so dirty?" "I was embarrassed and had to take my pants off. The landlady scolded urgently: "I mean how did you sit on my bed?" "There was no way, I had to lie down, and finally I was kicked out." Later, after the landlady divorced and got 6 million yuan in property, I married her home. The wife looks like a country, and the neighbors around her are envious. Today my wife complained to me: "I'm angry, there are several salty pig hands on the bus." I was furious: "Next time there is such a thing, call me and I'll arrest them all." My wife looked at me in surprise: "It's not against the law to take a few pig hands on the bus!" ”

2. The sister-in-law is poor and loves the rich, in order to live in a villa with a sea view, she abandoned her brother and little niece and married an 85-year-old rich man. The brother never looked for another partner, and raised the little niece alone. Not working on weekends, my brother took his 4-year-old niece to the park to fly kites. It was a particularly windy day, the kite was blown away, and my brother went home frustrated. On the way home, the little niece asked: Daddy the kite flew away, so when did it fly back? My brother looked sad: When your mother comes home, it will come back! Then the little niece nodded firmly...

3, a while ago and a tall and handsome boy fell in love! But his only deficiency is that he is too picky, think about it, I can't stand it, I still have to break up with him. So I sent him a breakup text: "Let's break up!" "Waited for days and didn't get back to me. At the beginning of the month, I suddenly received a message: "Honey, there was no SMS package last month, why did you break up with me, I can do anything for you!" ”

4. Today I drove the Maserati that my father just bought for me to pick up my girlfriend from work, and I leaned on the car to smoke. At this time, a grandfather wearing a slippers vest came over. He said to me, "Boy, your car is good, you have tens of thousands, right?" I smiled and said, "Uncle, you open your dog eyes, this Maserati is more than 1 million!" Uncle was surprised and said, "So expensive, it's almost catching up with the rent I collect for a month." "Then Uncle Dashing left, leaving me stunned....

5. The village chief showed off to his son: "The pants in our village, I know who it is as soon as I smell it!" "My son tried it several times, and sure enough, he was very accurate, and he was secretly dissatisfied! Once, the son bought a new pair of pants and rubbed them on the cow's butt a few times to give to his father to smell. The village chief couldn't smell it, and thought to himself, "Is there a new person in the village again?" So he praised his son: "You little boy, you are good." "My son fainted!!!

6. On this day, Neptune's mother arrived home early from work and did housework at home, and dad came home to see his mother wiping the glass inside. Dad immediately said: You quickly sit and rest, these rough jobs can not be done?? After that, you can eat melon seeds at home, watch TV, and let other people do the rough work. Then Dad handed the mop to Neptune, who was watching TV with melon seeds.

7, I went to the night market to buy a pair of insoles, turned around, ate two strings of grilled gluten, five strings of lamb, a piece of cantaloupe. After eating the watermelon, I remembered, oh mom, the insole was not bought. Then I walked back to the night market and came out packing half a roast duck. When I got home and finished eating the roast duck, I remembered, oh, the insoles are still not bought. After my mother learned about this matter, she scolded directly: You are a foodie, you must have starved to death in your last life!

8, back to the hometown for two days, was bitten by an unknown bug, itching at night can not sleep. I said to my boyfriend uncomfortably, "I can't really grasp it with my two hands, so you can grab it for me quickly, just grab it anywhere." Boyfriend: "You can catch anywhere, this is what you said." Me: "Hurry up, don't talk nonsense. "I saw my boyfriend wrapped his arms around my feet and grabbed me at the center of my feet.........

9, these days to go to the countryside grandmother's house, because there is no computer, play a few days of mobile phones, or want to go to the Internet café to play with the computer. After going out to look for half a day, I didn't find it, and suddenly I thought of my grandmother, who usually loves to go out. When I got home, I asked my grandmother, "Do you know where there is an Internet café?" Grandma was stunned for a moment and said, "Wang Ba? There is a wet market, tomorrow I will help you buy! ”

10, the brother made 5,000,000 in business, and plans to buy a BMW Seven Series. The sister-in-law did not agree, and wanted her brother to buy a Baojun 730. The two of them quarreled over this, and finally the quarrel became more and more fierce, and the brother-in-law reached out and grabbed the teacup on the table and slammed it on the ground. My sister also looked around, but didn't find anything that was easy to fall. Just when her nephew returned from school, she rushed up and grabbed her nephew's school bag and slammed it on the ground. The nephew quickly picked up his bag from the ground and took out his homework book, saying, "Mom, come and tear up the homework book!" ”?

11, met a girl on the Internet, talked for a month to meet, and then we fell in love at first sight and confirmed the relationship. I asked her, "How many boyfriends have you talked to before?" She said, "You don't care how many boyfriends I've had, you're definitely my last boyfriend." "After listening to it, I was very happy, my heart was warm, and it seemed that my girlfriend was truly in love with me." Three months later she married a rich man and I know she really didn't lie to me, I was just her last boyfriend!?

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #