1, take a good bath with my wife at night, ready to go to bed together, this time it is already more than 10 o'clock in the middle of the night, my wife quietly said to me. Husband, such a wonderful night, we should do it

1, take a good bath with my wife at night, ready to go to bed together, this time it is already more than 10 o'clock in the middle of the night, my wife quietly said to me. Husband, such a beautiful night, we should do something! So I asked her, what should we do? The wife touched her stomach, smiled and said, I think we should go to a barbecue. My eyes lit up and I said in approval, OK, I want to eat a roast pig intestine, my wife angrily patted my head and said, the pig intestine stinks to death, it is not delicious at all, I want to eat pig brain.

2. When I was a child, my father took our family of three to move to a big city for work. Because it was very inconvenient to rent a house, my father bought a house at a price of 2,000 yuan a flat. At that time, his monthly salary was only 100 yuan, but he had to pay off a huge mortgage of 80 yuan per month, and the loan was 30 years, and it was necessary to repay it until 2021. Now that My father is gone, this heavy burden has fallen on me. I get up early every day to work in the dark, and I pay a huge mortgage of 80 per month.

3, on the bus, I was squeezed in the arms of a boy... At first, I was not embarrassed, but after a long time, I got used to it, and I gently rested my head on his body and said, "I sat on this bus for a week, and every time I was squeezed into your arms, do you believe in fate?" The boy said calmly, "I don't believe in fate... I only know how to rent a bus five hundred, more than a hundred extras, eighty per person ... So, I just believe in money..."

4, go to the restaurant with a friend, sauerkraut blood sausage pork belly saw a bug, the friend wanted to call the waiter, I said wait, and then took out a coin to hide in the basin, and then called the waiter. The waiter apologized and said to change us, and after a while he brought another pot. Then we started flipping in front of the waiter, and when we flipped out a coin, the waiter was stupid.

5. According to the mediator, the rich man drove his private jet to go on a blind date. After the meeting, it is understood that the woman is a female anchor with goods that is very popular on a certain platform. The female anchor asked: What is your annual income? The rich man replied: My salary is not fixed. The female anchor looked dismissive and said: Do you know how much this Hermès bag I am carrying now costs? Regal: I don't know! Female anchor: Then you still come on a blind date, which is a waste of my time. Regal: Miss, I'm a real estate developer.

6, and his wife is particularly related, junior high school to college has been the same class, and now married for three years. Yesterday on my wedding anniversary, I brought home two bottles of Moutai wine, and my wife made a few dishes, and we drank them. After three rounds of drinking, my wife asked me: How long did you have a crush on me when you were in school, and then you wrote me a love letter? I replied: When I wanted to find a girlfriend, I wrote a love letter to every girl in the class, and you wrote me back alone!

7, the boss's daughter is 38 years old and has not yet married, he is in a hurry, the company's business has not worked in these months, I see it in my eyes, anxious in my heart, take the initiative to ask for help: "Boss, do you see this way?" I'll make you a son-in-law. The boss raised his head, looked at me carefully, and said, "It's a handsome guy, but he is a little older." I hurriedly said, "I'm only 3."

8, not long ago my first love boyfriend was with a rich woman, I was heartbroken. I was called in the last few days and said, "That woman abandoned me, and I know now that you are the best for me. I resolutely rejected him, and now he is crying and making trouble, saying, "Now I only have you, and if I don't promise me, I won't live!" "So the question is, do I go to his funeral in red or in black?"

9, after work bought a bag of chestnuts, on the bus to eat with relish, suddenly a sister in the back of the pat me on the shoulder, she was a little embarrassed and said: "Beauty! Can you give me a few? She looked at me with some surprise and quickly explained: "The child is disobedient, and he has to eat..." I looked at her slightly bulging abdomen and handed it all to her. Friends, am I doing the right thing?

10, my wife is an Internet addicted girl, stay at home all day to surf the Internet. Under her influence, I also became very fond of playing games online, especially games. When I went to work today, I watched my colleagues playing with their phones, and I also secretly played a game. I didn't expect to successfully eat chicken, and as soon as I looked up, the female supervisor stood in front of me. I was in a cold sweat for an instant, this tigress ate people and did not spit bones, and I would definitely be fired by her when I went to work to play games. Unexpectedly, not only was I not expelled, but I also became the team leader. But I only have one job a day, and that's to take her to chicken!

11. Today is Mother's Day, and my little son asked me: Mom, what kind of gift do you want? I was relieved to hear my son say that... So I wiped my son's head and said, "As long as you are obedient and listen to your mother, your mother does not want any gifts." The little son was very happy after hearing this: "Since this is the case, then when I have a birthday, I don't want any gifts, as long as my mother listens to me!" ”

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #