1, the village chief showed off to his son: "The pants in our village, I know who it is as soon as I smell it!" "My son tried it several times, and sure enough, he was very accurate, and he was secretly dissatisfied! Once, my son bought a new pair of pants

1, the village chief showed off to his son: "The pants in our village, I know who it is as soon as I smell it!" "My son tried it several times, and sure enough, he was very accurate, and he was secretly dissatisfied! Once, the son bought a new pair of pants and rubbed them on the cow's butt a few times to give to his father to smell. The village chief couldn't smell it, and thought to himself, "Is there a new person in the village again?" So he praised his son: "You little boy, you are good." "My son fainted!!!

2. The doctors who stayed in the hospital during the New Year were idle. On this day, I went to the hospital to check for skin problems, and all the doctors in the clinic looked at me. The last few doctors have come to the conclusion that there should be skin problems because of fat sweating and oily breathability. After the doctor read it, he pushed me !!!!!!!! Recommended endocrinology, looked at the endocrinology department, and the endocrinologist pushed me !!!!!!!! Recommend nutrition department to let me lose weight. In this way, I ran to the nutrition department again, and the nutrition doctor sat with me for a morning and told me how to lose weight!!!!

3. At the entrance of the restaurant, a BMW slowly stopped. In the car, a greasy-looking boss carried a tall and beautiful woman into the hotel. Then another big car stopped, and a beer belly boss went in with a pure beauty smiling. I wondered at the time, they are all people who drive more than 1 million cars, why don't I have this blessing. I couldn't help but shout: Waiter, is my fried noodles fried? I'm still waiting on the construction site to pump the concrete!

4. Drinking in a bar, a woman wearing a small white flower sat next to us. My brother whispered to me, "Brother, see no, the one on your right hand side is the richest wife, and it is a waste of a piece of clothing to catch up with my salary for a year!" At this time, the bar owner looked at his sour brother and said, "Your wife is similar to his wife." Brother: "Where's almost the same?" The bar owner: "People's wives are wasteful, your wife is a wave." "Brother:"

5, last night I ate a bad stomach, lying on the window do not want to move, my wife came back from work, I deliberately pretended to be poor can steal a little lazy. I said sickly, "Dear baby, I drank a lot of cold last night, my stomach hurts, you come and help me rub it"! My wife hurriedly found the wind oil essence and smeared it next to the navel eye. I rubbed into her arms and said pitifully, "Baby, it still hurts, what should I do?" My wife smiled unkindly, and quickly picked up the wind oil essence and wiped it between the corners of my eyes, so hot that I screamed and cried. The wife said bitterly: "Oh, bear with me, people say that tears can detoxify, I will give you more wind oil essence, more tears, and soon the poison will be discharged." ”

6. Today, I took a train sleeper to go on a business trip. I was severely motion sick and slept motionless on the top bunk. I woke up once in confusion and saw the girl on the other side looking directly at me. I ignored it and went on sleeping, and when I woke up, I found that she was still looking at me. As soon as my heart clattered, I tentatively shouted: What's wrong?? The girl hurriedly said: From the time I came up, you lay down, motionless, sorry, I thought you were dead... I'm sorry!!

7. The master and the master live in the mountains, they make a living by collecting honey on the cliff, later, I followed the master to collect honey, and when I returned in the evening with a full load, I came back with a huge hive to see the master. The teacher was very happy and immediately made the hive into a delicious meal, and the two of us enjoyed it. After eating enough, The master asked: Why hasn't your master returned? I patted my thigh: Broken, Master is still hanging on the cliff, waiting for me to go back and pull him. Now my wife and I are ready to have a second child...

8, some time ago online shopping a lot of things, today finally arrived. But I didn't want to go downstairs to get it, so I let the courier brother send it. Courier brother: No, go upstairs to be charged, ten yuan on one floor. I thought about it for a moment and said: Husband is not at home, come up! Courier Guy: Okay free! That's it, it was quickly signed off. After a while, I received another text message: You big old man, do you want a face.

9, a few days ago, my cousin came to my house to play, and he also took his new girlfriend and drove a latest Audi. My cousin's eyes were almost open to the sky, he kept his nostrils facing us, and he spoke rudely, with an upstart face. He said he earned 10 million yuan from investment last year, bought a sea-view house and invested in a commercial street. I said weakly at that time, your father borrowed me 100,000 yuan a few years ago, and now you pay him back, he didn't speak at that time, and he ran away with his girlfriend without eating.

10. A newlywed couple is going to Shanghai for a honeymoon, and the husband calls a hotel in Shanghai to book a room. When the husband heard the customer service quote, the husband was stunned and said: Too expensive. The customer service added: This is a house that can see the night view of Shanghai at night!!! The husband replied: Well, how much do you want us to get a room with no night view? "

11. When the boss held a plenary meeting, he said: "In order to make the management people realize their shortcomings and let the company develop better, every employee can criticize them, and I as the boss will start by criticizing me." Assistant: "Boss, don't you mind the criticism?" Boss: "No, I like it." Assistant: "Yes, there are many benefits to sincere criticism..." Boss: "The most important thing is that I want to know who is upset with me." ”?

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #