1． Last night, the wife accompanied her sister-in-law on a blind date, and this time she failed again. As soon as my wife came back, she kept scolding, and from her scolding, I finally understood the reason for the failure of the blind date.

1． Last night, the wife accompanied her sister-in-law on a blind date, and this time she failed again. As soon as my wife came back, she kept scolding, and from her scolding, I finally understood the reason for the failure of the blind date. It turned out that the man hated that the sister-in-law was too beautiful and had a good figure, and he was worried that one day the grass would be green on his head. "Alas..." My wife sighed, looked at me and said, "Now what is this world, even pigs have begun to be picky eaters, is it that the cabbage that has been raised for more than twenty years has been smashed in the hand?" ”

2． I met my daughter-in-law at the bar, and we both got drunk that night, and the next day when we woke up drunk, we found that we were sleeping in the same bed and married her. Last night, when she arrived home after shopping, she said happily: I saw a skirt under the seat when I was on the bus! Then she changed into a look, size and fit, and the skirt was beautiful. I was also very happy, and the next day I talked about it in the company and saw that everyone was looking weird. One of the girls said quietly: I bought more expensive clothes and told my family this way.

3． My daughter-in-law asked me to quit smoking, and I hid a box in the corner of the bathroom, secretly smoking one at a time. That day I took it out again and found a note she had written inside: Thirteen! I had to put it back in a sad way. After a few days, I was in a hurry, smoked half of it, and then inserted it in front of it with a toothpick, put it in the cigarette box to level it, and sure enough, I didn't see it. Yesterday the old man came, and the daughter-in-law took out the box of cigarettes and went to wash the dishes. The father-in-law took out a cigarette butt with a toothpick in it, and took out a few more, and slammed the box into his pocket. I think men really need tacit understanding...

4． My cousin was a year younger than me, and that day my cousin asked me to invite him to a barbecue that day after I had paid his salary. When I arrived at a very famous food stall, when I was halfway through eating, a little girl suddenly ran up to me and kicked me!!!! She also pointed at her cousin and yelled, "Didn't you say you weren't free tonight?" He actually ran here to eat with other women!!!! Say, who is she? The cousin was angry, slapped the girl, quickly helped me up, and said, "Sister, don't be angry, I will break up with her!!!! I said, "This girl is too strong, I'm afraid you won't be able to stop it!!!! ”

5. I have a brother-in-law who is in kindergarten, and today a little Lolita broke his Ultraman. Little Lori quickly apologized and prepared to compensate a new one, but the brother-in-law shook her head and said: I don't need to apologize, nor do I need to compensate. Little Lori was anxious: So what do you want to do? Brother-in-law: If my mother knew that Ultraman was broken and would kill me, you would have to accompany me home, saying that she was my good friend, and would often come to play with me, and my mother would forgive me if she believed it. Oh I go, this stinky boy will be a sister at such a young age, more than my routine!

6. Recently, my cousin has been watching in the bar I opened, and once when I was on patrol, I saw a girl in the corner singing alone. At this time, he stepped forward and comforted: Beauty, what's wrong? The girl raised her head and said tearfully: Brother, can you do me a favor? The cousin hurriedly said: Yes. Sister: My girlfriend owes me 1,000,000 yuan, I asked her if she would like to pay me back, I think brother can you help me? The cousin said awkwardly: I don't have any money! The girl suddenly changed her face and said: Brother, you don't have any money, don't you stay away from me?

7. After graduating from college, I went to work in other places and never came home, but I finally went home during the Mid-Autumn Festival. When I got home, I saw my parents cooking in the kitchen, and my father was cutting all kinds of peppers in the kitchen. Mom asked, "What kind of chili do you say I belong to?" Dad: That must be a bell pepper, sweet to my heart! I leaned forward and asked, Dad, what kind of chili pepper am I? Dad: You're mustard, hot eye!

8. Today my son came home very happy and said to me: "Mom today the teacher taught us to write one, two, three, I wrote wrong at the same table, the teacher beat him to cry!" I thought haha who's this stupid son! If I had this stupid son I would have died. I used to watch TV experts say to use the "encouragement education model" for children, so I wanted to praise him: "Baby! What about you?"" Mom, I didn't cry, I'm old and strong!"

9. The first time buddy to Guangdong, Guangdong friends invite guests to the restaurant, buddy has to order their own food, they said to the waiter: on the six of your best dishes. After 20 minutes, on the six pots of stewed soup, Guangdong friends extended their thumbs and said that the buddies really understand the feelings of our Cantonese people. My poor buddy drank for three hours before he drank all six pots of stew. The next day to the Guangdong friend's home to visit, Guangdong friends gave four pots of stewed soup and two bowls of rice, buddy looked at the soup straight dizzy, after returning who dared to invite him to drink soup, he was anxious with whom!

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