1, the wife is in the shower, his husband is watching TV in the hall, suddenly, the bathroom came from the wife's miserable screams, he rushed over to open the bathroom door, saw her wife sitting there, full of hair

1, the wife is taking a bath, his husband is watching TV in the hall, suddenly, the bathroom came from the wife's miserable screams, he ran violently to open the bathroom door, saw her wife sitting there, the whole body was red, he immediately ran over to ask his wife what was wrong, her wife said in horror: "The water is so hot!!!!! ”?

2. My girlfriend is a graduate student from a 985 college and has been worried about work recently. There are many companies that have sent her invitations, and the girlfriend is entangled and does not know which one to choose. In the end, the girlfriend had a hard time choosing two, one was idle and low salary, and the other was competitive, stressful, and high salary. She felt confused and came to me for advice. After I listened, I said to her: There is a proverb that meat close to the bone is the most delicious, do you know what I mean? My girlfriend said to me with a face of surname: Honey, we haven't eaten sauce bones in a long time, or do you want to go out and buy some now?

3. After work in Futukang, I drove a newly proposed Rolls-Royce to pick up skewers, and ate a total of 620. I said that the boss wiped a fraction to 600, and the boss did not agree that the small business did not make money. I insisted on giving 600, and the boss said up to 10% off. Just listen to the beautiful voice coming from the computer: 620 multiplied by 0.9 equals 558. I can't forget the boss's expression at the time.

4. I've always liked the girlfriend of the eldest in the class, but people have objects. Two days ago I heard they had broken up, so I rushed to find her. However, I am a bit fat and have not had self-confidence all the time. She said to me gently: Fat is not bad, looks very cute, feels very good to touch, feels good temper, will be very gentle, love will be very caring for people, there is no need to lose weight, you are very likable now. I was very excited and said: Then are you willing to fall in love with me? She gave me a blank look: No.

5, watched a female live broadcast, in order to pursue her, I borrowed 300,000 yuan mesh bag to brush gifts for her. She was finally impressed by my sincerity and chose to marry me. After marriage, she looked at me unfavorably and always criticized and educated me. Today at noon I plan to sleep suddenly have an internal emergency, after solving the problem, I remembered that I did not wash my face and rinsed my mouth by the way. Just when the daughter-in-law came in to get something, she was shocked: Oh my God, lunch is not enough, you actually hid in the toilet to secretly eat this thing, thinking that I would not be able to see it when I washed it?

6, the boss arranged me and three female colleagues to go on a business trip, take a taxi to the train station, while looking down at the mobile phone, while waving. Suddenly a car stopped, and the glass slowly descended, revealing a beautiful woman. I wondered how the taxi driver's appearance had become so high. The female driver said: Handsome man, my car is so like a taxi? Where are you going? I'll take you along the way. I thought to myself, the more beautiful a woman is, the easier it is to lie, decisively refuse, leaving only a dashing back!

7. Took the 500,000 yuan from the boss's safe and charged it all into the game. After I bought the equipment, I immediately showed off it to my nephew, who was also a fantasy fan. After chatting for a while, I learned that his summer vacation time had been extended, so I asked him if he was happy? The little nephew said helplessly: "Happy yarn, my parents also stay at home every day, my father snatched my computer to play, my mother did not have anything to do with me to study, but also let me wash dishes, dare not go out, hide can not hide." ”

8, my wife ignored me again, just paid her salary and hurried to call her. Me: "Wife, I paid a salary today, in the evening we went to dinner, by the way to buy you a few sets of clothes, your birthday is coming, the pendant you last looked at and the bracelet bought together, don't save anymore, earn money is for you to spend, love you..." I didn't expect the other party to tell him: "You made the wrong call!" I immediately apologized to the other party, just wanted to hang up the phone, only to hear the other party say: "Whose husband are you?" Can you transfer the property..."

9. My father-in-law is digging coal in Shanxi, and since he became a multi-millionaire, he has begun to dislike his mother-in-law' nagging. Today the two of them were fishing in the river, and the mother-in-law was nagging on the side. Soon, a fish was hooked, and the mother-in-law said, "This fish is really pitiful!" The old man: "Yes! As long as it shuts up, it's fine! ”

10. My sister-in-law became the team leader in Futukang, and my brother invited me to the restaurant to eat and celebrate. During the banquet, the sister-in-law called her brother the emperor, and the brother called her sister-in-law the empress. I frowned and said, "Don't be like this outside, if you let others hear how humiliating!" But as if they had not heard, they continued to address each other as the emperor and the empress. I couldn't help it, stood up and said, "You two eat, I'm gone." Then my brother pulled me aside and said, "If you do what you want, you will listen to your uncle." ”

11. I wanted to go home quickly after work at night, so I cut a short road and walked a small alley. I found 2 little farts in the alley arguing, and I planned to go up and fight. Suddenly a little fart child pointed at me and said to the other party: See no, you are the same as you grow up! The child on the other side looked at me, and then immediately rushed up to fight with the little friend on the other side, and could not be pulled away. Only I stood there motionless...

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #