1. Accompany your wife downstairs to eat KFC. Check out for $98. I touched my pajama pockets and didn't bring any money. The waiter said: "Your wife is here, you can't run, go home and get it!" "I sped to the fifth floor

1. Accompany your wife downstairs to eat KFC. Check out for $98. I touched my pajama pockets and didn't bring any money.

The waiter said: "Your wife is here, you can't run, go home and get it!" "I rushed to the fifth floor and took 100 pieces and rushed back.

Just when I was exhausted and breathless, the waiter greeted me and said, "Hello! A total of 108 yuan. ”

I looked at the big red ticket in my hand and the milk tea in my wife's hand, instantly petrified.

How much you love milk tea, wife! Will this die....

2. A beautiful beautiful woman was deceived into the pyramid scheme nest by her classmates, the pyramid scheme leader brainwashed her in class, the beauty was very cooperative with the serious study of the lecture, and the light of worship flashed in her eyes: I had to sincerely say, "Big brother, I worship you as a teacher, you teach me well, take me, let me learn to make money with you." As soon as the eldest brother heard that the beauty was hooked, he said to let her pay the money, and the beauty said yes, I will go home tomorrow to get the money! You must take me to the top of my life! The eldest brother heard that the beautiful woman wanted to go home to get the money, and his heart was even happier, and he continued to brainwash her: "You can ask your family to transfer money to you, so that you don't have to run around, and you can quickly seize the opportunity to get rich." The beauty said, "My father will not give me money if I don't go back, my father is a very stubborn person, he will not see me, he will not give me money." "The eldest brother is blinded by money, and he also believes in his brainwashing technology, thinking that the beauty is too simple and has been brainwashed successfully." The next morning, I asked the beautiful woman to hurry back to get the money, and the beautiful woman said grievously: "Big brother, I don't have a fare, can you borrow 600 yuan for me?" When I come back I'll pay you back a thousand dollars. "The eldest brother thought about it, anyway, the money she got back was mine, and it didn't hurt to lend her some." So the eldest brother gave the beautiful woman six hundred yuan. The female college students thanked her, thanked her again and again, and promised to return soon. A week passed, the female college student did not come back, the eldest brother waited impatiently, he picked up the mobile phone and called her and asked: "When are you coming back?" There is no chance to come back. The female college student replied: "You liar, do you really think I have been brainwashed by you?" If it wasn't for the escape, I wouldn't have bothered to act with you? I've called the police, you're waiting to be caught! ”

3. My family is not very rich, which leads to my criteria for finding a partner is not very high. I don't dare to find a very good-looking girlfriend, and specifically pick the past that I just watched. On this day, a girl named more than two hundred pounds of small fat people was added to the people nearby, and I think it doesn't matter if I am fat. So I talked to her for a while, and then asked her out for a cold drink. When I arrived at the door of the cold drink shop, I looked up at her who was more than one meter and nine meters tall. I admit, I instigated.

4. I have been idle at home for 4 months, and I have finished eating, and recently I only ate one bag of instant noodles a day. When I woke up at 12 noon today, I took out a coin and said, "If it's the opposite, I'll go get a job!" "After saying that, I threw it into the air and caught it with my hand to see, it was the opposite! I thought for a moment: "The serendipity is too big, two wins in three sets!" The second time is still the opposite, I: "If you throw three times in a row is the opposite, you are doomed to find a job!" The third time it was still hot was the opposite, and I shouted: "My life is up to me!" ”

5. Yesterday, one of my brothers came to my house to borrow money from me, and my wife was very angry, so she found a reason to shirk it. When I went out the next day, my buddy called again, and my buddy asked: Where are you? I said, "I'm making money to my relatives!" The phone was then snatched away by the wife. The buddy hurriedly said: Just right, first lend me some urgent use, which bank you are in, I will go to you. The wife said calmly: In the grave of the old family, do you want to come?

6. The first time I went to my boyfriend's house, I found that his parents seemed to be dissatisfied with me.

I thought that I was going to be yellow anyway, and I couldn't come in vain, and at noon I tore a pot of pork head meat cooked by his house and dried it up.

On the way back, I looked at my boyfriend sadly and said: Let's break up.

He looked surprised: Why? Our mother has a crush on you! Saying that we have hated her craftsmanship for so many years, no one has ever been able to eat her stewed meat so fragrant, so unspicious daughter-in-law ugly is ugly, admit it!

7. Father and son go up the mountain to fight tigers, but they overestimate their combat effectiveness. The father climbed the tree, but the son did not have time to go up the tree, lying on the ground and pretending to die. The tiger walked over to his son, sniffed and walked away. The father jumped off the tree when he saw the tiger gone, and the son said, "Do you know what the tiger just said to me?" Father shook his head: "I don't know. Son: "It said that in the future, he would fight tigers with his biological father!" ”

8. The brother-in-law started his own Haidilao hot pot restaurant, the business has been particularly good, and now many places have opened branches. But I don't know why, he has never found a girlfriend so good. Recently, relatives introduced him to an object, and after the two people met, the brother-in-law was attracted to the girl. The sister was also interested in him, so she said to her brother-in-law: It doesn't matter if you have no money, no car, no house, as long as you are good to me, you can do it. The brother-in-law blurted out at that time: Is there a giveaway in the stomach?

9. The cousin took a plane on a business trip, met a beautiful stewardess on the plane, and the two got married not long ago. After marriage, the flight attendant and the mother-in-law of the community mixed very well. They often buy vegetables and play mahjong together, and they also dance square dance together in the evening. Today my cousin and flight attendant went out shopping, and she took out her mobile phone to voice one of them: "See your husband buying apples." The cousin said: "You are really gossipy, what does it have to do with you that others buy apples?" She said, "I'm a Zhi'en Tu Bao, and usually they notify me like this when they see you coming home." ”

10. When the uncle was drinking in the bar, he saw a beautiful woman drinking alcohol, so he went forward to talk. Uncle: "Beauty, my children say you're so pretty and want you to be their mom!" Beauty: "What an innocent and cute child!" Oh, what about your child? Uncle: "If you want, I will arrange for you to meet in 10 months." Beauty: "7 months?" "Uncle:"

11. At noon, Xiaopo went downstairs to buy water. I quickly said, "Dude, help me buy a box of cigarettes." "Give him $50 after saying that." Twenty minutes later, Xiao Po returned with a bitter face. I said, "What's the matter, I'll take the cigarette." Poe cried and told me, "Brother! I can't stop you. I went to buy cigarettes and met my daughter-in-law, and she said that I actually hid the money in my private house, and then stole the money! ”

#Funny paragraph # #搞笑 #