1, the female secretary is pregnant, the boss let her drain, the female secretary insisted on returning to her hometown in Gansu to give birth. Before leaving, the female secretary said to the boss: "How to notify you when you are born?" ”...... Boss: "Zhang postcard

1, the female secretary is pregnant, the boss let her drain, the female secretary insisted on returning to her hometown in Gansu to give birth. Before leaving, the female secretary said to the boss: "How to notify you when you are born?" ”...... Boss:" Zhang postcard to me, written on, Lanzhou ramen. ”...... A few months later, the boss left work, his wife handed a postcard, and the boss fainted after receiving it and was taken to the hospital. The doctor asked: What stimulated the shock past? The wife said: After seeing a postcard, I fell. ...... The doctor took the postcard and read: Four bowls of Lanzhou ramen; two bowls with sausages, two bowls without...

2, female colleagues are estimated to like me, often ask me to eat together, I have no way, after all, the face is thin. I pick places and she pays. I ended up choosing KFC, the 2 of us ate together, ate something for over 500 bucks, and when it came time to pay, I proposed: "AA system." Then I took out a coupon for 250 yuan, and the female colleague was stunned, gritted her teeth and paid 250 breathlessly. You comment, you say that she is in her 40s, always thinking of eating with a small fresh meat like me, what do you want to do? Did she also bring a coupon for 250 bucks?

3, this morning up the window, I went to the roadside breakfast stall to drink porridge and eat fritters. Eating and eating early came a big man, wearing sunglasses on a big gold chain, and bought a bun for ten dollars. The boss packed the bun for him, he did not leave, and asked the boss viciously: "Is this the end?" The owner was a little scared and gave him two more buns. The big man continued, "Is this the end of it, have you forgotten something?" The boss quickly said: "Big brother, what did I forget?" The big man replied: "Garlic, eat buns without garlic, the flavor is less than half!" ”

4. My husband made 8,000 yuan on the first day as a game anchor, and we both bought a Gree air conditioner. Today, the next door neighbor also bought an air conditioner like us. The neighbor came up to me and asked if I had paid for the installation? I said: There was no installation fee at the beginning. Then, the neighbors went back and quarreled with the installers. Talking about this matter with my husband in the evening, my husband said: My family is what I found an acquaintance and did not want, normal to receive.

5. Just now, I accompanied the girls in the office to go downstairs to get things. The two of us had a bucket, and on the way we met another male colleague, who followed us along the way, talking and laughing. I said: Can't you take the initiative to help the girl mention it? He shook his head and said, "No, no, no, we're not in a position, and people will talk about me!" alas! I finally understand now why he is still single in his thirties!

6. My father-in-law is digging coal in Shanxi, and since he became a multi-millionaire, he has begun to dislike his mother-in-law. Today the two of them were fishing in the river, and the mother-in-law was nagging on the side. Soon, a fish was hooked, and the mother-in-law said, "This fish is really pitiful!" The old man: "Yes! As long as it shuts up, it's fine! ”

7. When waiting for the elevator this morning, I saw my colleagues with crutches. I asked him, "What's wrong with you?" Colleague: "My wife is in a bad mood." I laughed at him: "Your family status is not high, and if you are in a bad mood, I will beat you." The colleague said helplessly: "It wasn't that she beat me, she beat my family, and then Wang Wang was in a bad mood, so she bit me!" ”??

8, the brother-in-law and female executives go on a business trip, take the train sleeper. At night, the brother-in-law slept soundly, was woken up by the female executive in the opposite bunk, and took a picture of him with her mobile phone. The brother-in-law got up angrily and asked angrily: What do you want to do? Female executive: You fell to the ground on the quilt, but you can't rob me! The brother-in-law took a closer look, his quilt lay quietly on the ground, while he grabbed the quilt of the female executive in one hand and was about to drag it over. The female executive's other hand was clutching the corner of the quilt deadly, with a helpless face. "

9, at night with my wife to take a bath, ready to go to bed together, this time it is already more than 10 o'clock in the middle of the night, my wife quietly said to me. Husband, such a beautiful night, we should do something! So I asked her, what should we do? The wife touched her stomach, smiled and said, I think we should go to a barbecue. My eyes lit up and I said in approval, OK, I want to eat a roast pig intestine, my wife angrily patted my head and said, the pig intestine stinks to death, it is not delicious at all, I want to eat pig brain.

10. After the special period has passed, major enterprises have begun to resume work. I was the head of the department in Biguiyuan, after the resumption of work, the company made personnel adjustments, and the head of the personnel department, Lao Zhang, was transferred to the sales department downstairs to appoint a manager, and everyone was happy for him. When I went to work this afternoon, a client came into the office to look for him. I said: I'm sorry, Lao Zhang is no longer in personnel. The man listened and exclaimed, "Huh? No more dead? When is it? How I didn't know! I didn't even have time to send him! I said busily: It doesn't matter, he is below, you can go down to him!

11. Recently, the weather has suddenly become colder, because we do not have heating in our home, so it is particularly cold. So, I thought of boiling the pot of boiling water to drink, just when I poured water into the drying cup, the bottom of the cup suddenly exploded, and the boiling hot water was directly on my feet... The daughter-in-law hurriedly ran over and asked, "Husband, are you not wearing shoes?" After looking around, he ran and roared, I tell you, if the glass slag on this ground our girlfriend's foot, you don't have to stay here! ”

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #