1． There was a man who was dying, and in the hospital room, he said to his wife: I want to meet my lover. His daughter-in-law called her lover, and when she saw her, he cried, saying that she was most sorry in this life, and that she could not be given a name, and if she had to meet her in the next life, and then continue the frontier, the last and most reluctant thing in life was her, that is, the dead soul loved her. After saying goodbye to his lover, he called his daughter-in-law and gave him a passbook: This is my life's savings, there are 800,000 in it, you keep it. Ask the question: Does this man love his wife or a lover?
2． My daughter-in-law, every time she pays public grain, she subsidizes me with 100 ocean allowance fees! The first few months are OK, and the monthly pocket money is relatively rich. These two months are almost, the weather is hot, and it is a bit excessive, and recently it has been tighter. In order to increase my enthusiasm for paying grain, my daughter-in-law increased the subsidy to 150. To be honest, that's 50 more, and the attraction is quite big!!! 3. My husband treats his mobile phone as his father, and he does not leave his mobile phone all day. Today, when the child returned home after work, he immediately held the mobile phone to play again.
I finally broke out, yelling, "Play, play! Play every day! When will you find out that the child is not your own! ”
The husband was furious when he heard it: "You, you, you..."
I roared, "When are you coming!" You go to the living room to see, is it your son you picked up from kindergarten? ”
3. Yesterday, I was video chatting with netizens, and my cousin came to my house crying. Asking her what was wrong, my cousin whimpered and said, "He gave me a white rose during the separation, and quietly told me that as long as the flower withered, he would come back." Me: "Oh, your boyfriend is so romantic!" Cousin: "But I found out that rose is plastic!" ”
4. The rich second generation has a liquor store every night, in a bar to drink after the rush, the body is really overwhelmed, so the rich second generation applied to the boss for a leave, the result of the rich second generation found that the colleague Xiao Zhang is talking to the boss, Xiao Zhang said: "Boss, you are completely assured of this, tomorrow I will repair." Fu Er Dai heard that Xiao Zhang planned to take a break from work tomorrow, so he rushed over to the boss and said, "Boss, I will also take a break tomorrow!" The boss smiled and said, "Yes, it's great that our company has a group of people like you!" Since you have introduced yourself, then tomorrow you will go with Xiao Zhang to repair the water heater. ”
5. You know that playing mahjong, not doing any housework, I work so hard every day, I have to wait for you after work. Why do you have the power of the economy, as a man, there is only 100 yuan of pocket money per month, I can no longer bear it. Today I'm going to let you know what a real man is. After saying this, I slapped my daughter-in-law's photo a few times, which was very relieved.
6. At noon and my wife were taking a nap, suddenly someone knocked on the door, I woke up at once, picked up my clothes and pants and hid in the cabinet, hid in and found that the shoes forgot to take, only to see my wife gently kick my shoes under the bed with her feet and kicked to open the door, opening the door to see that it was her father, I suddenly realized that this is not my home, why did I hide in the cabinet, and then went out to continue sleeping.
7． After marrying the chairman's daughter of more than 300 pounds, I was promoted from company security to general manager. I received a salary of 700,000 yuan yesterday, and I came to a roast chicken stall after work in the evening and asked, "How much is a roast chicken?" Boss: "A 60!" "I remembered what my wife had told me before, to learn to bargain in half when buying things. So he said, "Half, 30." Boss: "Okay! Get it right away. So the knife fell from the hand, and the skillful knife worker fell into the bag. I happily took the roast chicken to my home and said to my wife: "Wife, you said that I will not bargain, I bargained successfully today, half cut, the boss wants 60, I cut to 30." The wife took the roast chicken, opened it, and slapped me: "You even cut the roast chicken and bought half of it. ”
8． My girlfriend's mouth is never idle, except to eat and count me down. This is not, into the winter, she bought a few boxes of walnuts from the origin of walnuts, which is called: idle in winter, there is nothing to eat walnuts to pass the time and replenish the brain, in one fell swoop. Walnuts had been eaten for more than half a month, and this morning, just this morning, she poured the rice directly into the rice cooker, and the pot liner was on the side. My girlfriend shouted, I rushed to the kitchen, saw a wet scene, and said to my girlfriend: This is the result of your brain patching? My girlfriend actually said to me unconvincingly: Yes, I am enlightened, why is it that I cook every day?
9. The female colleague borrowed 100,000 yuan from me, said to pay me back in three months, now half a year has passed, during which she was urged several times, but it was not repaid, yesterday I went to her house in a rage to find her: it has been half a year, when do you plan to return the money to me? "Female colleague said: money money money, you know money, in the urge to pay me back money, you believe it or not I will marry you, and then according to the custom, you have to give me a dowry of 200,000 yuan, deduct the 100,000 owed to you, you still want to give me 100,000."
The female colleague drank the saliva and said excitedly: After marriage, I will give you a son, let you buy him a house and a car in the future, and then there will be millions of dollars that cannot be solved. I chuckled and said, "Then how do you know if I'm going to marry you?" The female colleague sneered: "Then do you think you can walk through the door of my house?" I looked at the female colleague of 158 pounds, and suddenly felt a pang of fear, and the money was gone and I ran out.
#Funny Moment# #Funny Scene of the Year#
![Cognitive psychologist Hazel Marcus proposed a theory about the "possible self." The theory says that unlike the so-called true self, there is a lot in each of us[fig]](data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAP///wAAACwAAAAAAQABAAACAkQBADs=)