1. Take a bath with my girlfriend, she has to let me take off first, I take off my shirt, she also let me take off my pants, I said are you sick? She didn't speak, and when I had finished taking off my pants, she took off her clothes and went into a shower.

1. Take a bath with my girlfriend, she has to let me take off first, I take off my shirt, she also let me take off my pants, I said are you sick? She didn't speak, and when I had finished taking off my pants, she took off her clothes and went into the shower, washing and washing her and saying: You don't take off your pants, I thought you were a man...

2. When my wife was five months pregnant, she gained 50 pounds. In order to lose weight, the wife spent money to get a card at the gym. A month later, she said to me happily, "You see, my belt used to be able to buckle the last hole, and today it can be fastened to the first hole." I looked at it and said, "Well, it should be that your hands are getting stronger." ”"

3. I found that the university was not very peaceful during this time, and there was a new project that needed to be clarified by the sociology research team. Their new question is: Why do so many successful men have lovers? Is it that successful men can't stand up to confusion? After a full year of survey sampling and anonymous interviews, they finally came to a conclusion. In fact, men can hardly stand to be confused, but women rarely confuse unsuccessful men.

4. When I brushed the short video today, I saw a comment that men wear women's clothes to show more body, I want to try. I secretly took the skirt that my daughter-in-law had not worn for many years and put it on my body. As a result, as soon as I turned around, I saw a shocked daughter-in-law! The daughter-in-law said that I chased her and married her to take advantage of her, for another purpose! No matter how I explained it, she beat me to death!

5. The sister-in-law does not do her business all day, often follows a group of spiritual boys to mix with gems, and is also obsessed with watching movies. Today at home to watch a movie, the result of the virus, blue screen, just call me to check it out. As a senior programmer, I watched it for 5 minutes and then asked, "Is this monitor of yours produced by Ha Liu?" The sister-in-law didn't understand this either, and casually replied, "Hmm." Then I said, "What Harbin Pharmaceutical Sixth Factory produces is blue screen." ”

6. The brother-in-law and his sister are engaged and buy a new house in Tomson Yipin, which is 100,000 yuan. Unexpectedly, the mother-in-law transferred 100,000 yuan to her brother-in-law with Alipay the next day. So the brother-in-law bought a house of 1800,000, and also bought 2 large toy pigs wrapped in bamboo charcoal, and put them on the sofa to absorb formaldehyde. One day, Dad and Mom came to visit the house. The second elder sat on the sofa drinking tea, and his mother suddenly asked: "This new house has formaldehyde, have you put anything to suck it?" Need to buy greenery? The brother-in-law said without hesitation: "Yes, there are two pigs sitting on the sofa helping to take drugs..."

7． After work that day, the supervisor of our workshop bought 50 million seeds. After everyone learned of this news, they all coaxed the supervisor to invite guests to dinner. After arriving at the five-star hotel, there was a brother who ordered expensive dishes and asked for two bottles of 82-year-old Lafite. This meal was estimated at tens of thousands, and the supervisor was a bit blindfolded at the time, throwing down 1,000 yuan and leaving. The scene became particularly awkward, and later everyone could only AA.

8． Today's company dinner, all the leaders who came, only I was the little brother. I'm going to pat them on the back, maybe I can get a promotion and a raise. When I got to the hotel, I asked the leaders how they had come. Chairman: "I came in a car." Me: "Mighty! CEO: "I came on horseback. Me: "Dashing to the extreme!" Manager: "I came on foot." Me: "Calm down! My supervisor couldn't get used to my ugly face, and he said angrily, "I'm crawling here!" I smiled and stuck out my thumb at him and said, "Steady!" ”

9. The rich man comes home from work and puts on an apron to make dinner for his wife. A female friend on the rich man's mobile phone messaged: What are you doing? On a whim, my wife replied, "I'm thinking about you!" The other party said: Is this true? The wife felt bored, so she replied: I sent the message just now, I am his wife! The other person seconds back: That's great! Too strange: what's too good? The other party said: While they are not there, let's talk for a while, I am her husband!

10． The daughters-in-law of the rich people think that the rich people only earn 100,000 yuan a month, and there is simply not enough to spend, so they drive the rich people out of the house. Ten minutes later, his daughter-in-law called: You are coming back, there are snakes in the house, I am afraid. The rich man hurried home in a hurry to drive Paramela and threw the big python out of the window. Later, my son quietly said to me: Dad, I put the snake, I failed the exam, you have to persuade my mother not to beat me!

11. Last week I went to Sanya on a business trip, and my wife, who had just got my driver's license, actually drove my Maiten back to her mother's house. I told my wife to pay attention to safety when driving. As a result, the next day I was still dreaming, and I was woken up by my wife's urgent telephone ringing. Half dreaming and half awake, I heard her whisper: I just want to ask you, how to put away the airbag, and what is the insurance company phone number you bought? I'm no big deal compared to the car!

12. My husband has been working overtime regularly recently, and in order to treat my husband, I decided to make braised pork for my husband at night. After the ingredients were prepared, I was ready to start cutting the meat, only to accidentally cut my fingers. At this time, the daughter who was watching TV came to the kitchen, looked at the blood stuck on the meat and the board, and the daughter said solemnly: Are you coloring the braised meat, or are you dripping blood to recognize your relatives?

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