1, that day in the unit, my wife came to me to talk about some housework. When my colleague saw my wife coming, he immediately took out the oranges he bought for the children to eat for my wife to eat. Wife habitual

1, that day in the unit, my wife came to me to talk about some housework. When my colleague saw my wife coming, he immediately took out the oranges he bought for the children to eat for my wife to eat. My wife habitually peeled off the first flap and put it in my mouth, and everyone said, "My sister-in-law is really good to you." "But where do they know: every time they eat an orange, my wife will give me the first petal to eat, and she will look at my expression from the side, and then decide whether to continue to give me the rest or eat it myself, Nima!

2. The company is ready to hold a sports meeting. Cluck... A few people in our office made plans, and Old Zhao spoke: The big boss participates in the 100-meter race, how can he run past the young people? Taking the first is too hypocritical, not taking the first is not good, we should set up a project that only has a big leadership meeting, so that the big leader can take the first place without giving in. Sister Juan and I agree, but what project is set up? Everyone has been thinking about it for a long time, but they still can't think of the specialty of the big leader. Finally, Xiao Zhou spoke: Or let's add a diabetes contest...

3, the dormitory is often not cleaned, there are small strong haunts, generally after seeing it, they will step on it. One day, the housemate had a sudden idea and found a plastic bag to raise Xiao Qiang at the head of the bed. The key is that this is not the climax, the climax is that on the third day, our dormitory was notified by the whole hospital because of the pet, eight thousand words review.

4, the husband does not agree with me with my girlfriend, the rich second generation brother once went to her house, thinking that the girlfriend's father does not like himself anyway, he let go of eating. Thinking there won't be a next time. When fu erdai finished eating the third bowl of rice, the old man said: Young man, I thought you were very thin, I was afraid that you could not carry my daughter's body. I was relieved to see you eat today. You take her away! This body should be able to withstand the beating. Fu Er Dai said: Later I learned that the old man was thinking about me!

5, yesterday the supermarket engaged in activities, full of 101 can be drawn. Everyone was queuing up at the time, and a young man shouted: Borrowed, let the next let go... Just like this, this goods actually ran to the first one of the lottery... Special, I waited in line for half an hour, and there were more than ten in front of me, and my heart suddenly exploded: What line? Didn't you see everyone lined up here?? This cargo looks back and bulges: Do you have an opinion? I was about to yell when I noticed that no one was making a sound, all looking at me! Never mind!! No comment! ......

6. When I handed a five-million lottery ticket to the lottery center staff, everyone immediately cast envious eyes! I took out a second one, or five million, and everyone was stunned! When I took out the third one, the air was suffocating! When I was about to take out the fourth one, my girlfriend woke me up and said disapprovingly: "Sleep is not honest, tear the book piece by piece, and laugh so loudly!" ”

7, relying on the relationship of the rich woman, entered an insurance company as a salesman. The company has a rule that if you are the first in three months of performance, you must be fired. As a result, I worked for two months, and the performance was the first to last. So I didn't plan to work for the third month, and I resigned directly. I didn't expect that the particularly beautiful female colleague of the company chased after my family all the way. Crying and saying: You are gone, what should I do? My mother was in a hurry and asked, "What have you done to people?" I was puzzled and said: It doesn't matter? Colleagues cried and said: Auntie, don't misunderstand, he is gone, won't my performance become the first to last!

8. During the midterm exam, the first to last and second-to-last copies of the whole school are copied each other. After the scores came out, the penultimate or penultimate first, the penultimate examination to the middle of the school. The penultimate one was very surprised and asked the penultimate number two: How did you take so many tests? The penultimate said triumphantly: Except for you and my answers, the accuracy rate has indeed become higher!

9. When I was studying at the Municipal Key Middle School, I was the first in my grade every exam. At the time of the college entrance examination, I scored 580 points and was admitted to a famous university; Every exam at the same table is the first in the bottom of the grade, and the college entrance examination has scored more than 150 points without being admitted to college, and can only work hard to start a business. He used to pay me to help him with his homework, and now he still has to pay $3,000 a month to hire me to work at his company. You see, this is the consequence of not studying well, and you have to pay for help all the time.

10, the mother-in-law can receive a pension of 36,000 yuan every month, but at home can not stay idle, so she went to a private company as a cleaner. Every year at the annual meeting, as long as the mother-in-law participates, the grand prize must be hers. In the first year, the mother-in-law hit the washing machine, and the second year she hit the washing machine! This year, the mother-in-law told the president that there was no shortage of washing machines at home, so she asked the boss to change the jackpot to Yadi electric vehicles. Then my mother-in-law got hit an electric car again, and now I drive it every day.

11, a university teacher, when I graded the roll paper at the end of the last semester, I found a strange roll of paper, the first page only wrote a few lines of words "Teacher, I will not, do not have to read later, nothing to write", when I turned to the second page, I was stunned, and there was a line: "Teacher, you don't believe me!"

12, a director made a TV series of the Qing Dynasty, found his good friends in the film and television circle, and said: "Today, I invited you to help me check the pass, to see if there are any flaws in the play!" As soon as my friend watched the first episode, he found flaws: "The tea set that appears in you is absolutely absent in the Qing Dynasty." Director: "Sure enough, I can find mistakes when I come up, but I can't let it use." Friend: "Can't find the right prop?" The director shook his head and said, "This is the sponsor's request. ”

13, a couple after marriage gave birth to a son, the husband took his mother to live in his own home, by the way can take care of the grandson, but the wife is not happy, and quarrels with the husband every day. So the two competed to teach the child to call the first call to father and mother, one day, the child squeaked and shouted: "Grandma" This can make the grandmother next to it happy, and the husband is also more satisfied. The baby went on to say, "Grandma grandma is a bear." ”

14. Since childhood, the teacher asked each of us to go home and make a small wooden sword of a few centimeters. At that time, for the sake of face, my father made a dragon slaying sword for me several tens of centimeters long overnight. Very similar. Later, I went to school the next day, and I overslept inexplicably, and then I happened to go to the school to hold a flag-raising ceremony, and the whole school watched me carrying the dragon slaying sword behind my back. It's embarrassing...