Between parents and children, that is the interrelationship of "I raise you small, you raise me old". Everyone is born to their parents and raised under the care of their parents. When the parents are old, the children should support the parents, which is both the common sentiment of man and the obligation under the law.
The question of whether a child is filial to his parents is sometimes caused by many factors, not necessarily because the parents have not fulfilled their parenting obligations or have a poor education. Education is certainly one aspect, but education is not omnipotent, and some people are cold and selfish in their bones.
Now in one-child families, if the children do not understand gratitude and do not filial piety to their parents, people will habitually think that their parents are not well educated. In the past, if there were many children, the same parents, the same conditions, the same education, but some children would be very successful, and some children would be very selfish and lazy.
Therefore, some things cannot be generalized, and the growth process of a child is often not completely controlled by the parents. Parents can only guide their children as much as possible within their own capabilities, so that children understand and abide by morality and laws.
After the children get married and start a family, parents should gradually withdraw from their lives, let them run their own lives, and let them become responsible. If parents find that they do not understand gratitude, then they must keep a hand for themselves and must seize the pension money.
The mother-in-law went to her son's house to take her grandson, and two years later decided to return home
When aunt Xu, 55, went to her son's house in the city to take the child, she was happy to go, but three years later, she was very depressed and returned to the village. Aunt Xu and her husband are an only son, and the couple has loved this child very much since they were young. Grandparents are even more spoiled grandsons, so spoiling grandchildren is a bit selfish and willful.
At that time, grandparents always said that children were still young, selfish and willful is very normal, and it would be fine when they grow up. Aunt Xu and her husband were busy with work, and after listening to her in-laws, she did not take the selfish and willful things of the child to heart.
After my son went to school, because of his willfulness, he did not study well at all. After barely graduating from junior high school, he went out to work, saying that he was part-time, but in fact, he mixed things. Later, the son fell in love, and the girl's personality was very spicy, so she managed her son.
Aunt Xu and her husband were very happy and soon gave them a marriage, but the woman made many requirements, such as buying a house in the city, but also buying a car, and the bride price was not less than 100,000 yuan. Aunt Xu and her husband felt very difficult, but in order for their son to start a family smoothly, they still gritted their teeth and agreed.
The year after her son got married, Aunt Xu's husband went to the market to buy fertilizer when he encountered a car accident and died. The perpetrator and the insurance company together paid Aunt Xu 600,000 yuan, and Aunt Xu was very sad, and no amount of money for her could make up for the pain in her heart.
Because of this 600,000, the son and daughter-in-law tried every means to get her to take it out, one moment saying that they wanted to buy a house, one would say to change the car, and the other would say that they did not spend enough. Later, Aunt Xu was equally divided with them, and each got 300,000 yuan.
After another year, the daughter-in-law gave birth to a grandson, and the son asked Aunt Xu to take the child. Of course, Aunt Xu was very happy and went to help with her grandson. But since Aunt Xu lived in her son's house, her son and daughter-in-law did not spend a penny, and everything made Aunt Xu bear. Their reason was that Aunt Xu had money in her hands anyway.
Aunt Xu spent two years in her son's house, 200,000 spent, and her son and daughter-in-law were completely taken for granted. One day Aunt Xu had a fever and asked her daughter-in-law to help her bring some cold medicine back when she got off work, but her daughter-in-law didn't bring anything.
Aunt Xu asked her son to help her buy it, and by the way, she bought another watermelon, and eating watermelon can lower her body temperature. The son just lay on the couch and played with his mobile phone, and Aunt Xu called several times, but he was indifferent.
Aunt Xu handed the child to her daughter-in-law and prepared to go outside to buy medicine herself. Who knew that the daughter-in-law said to her: "What medicine to buy, but also to spend money, drink some boiled water to get!" ”
The son immediately took over the conversation and said, "Yes, don't be too pretentious!" Isn't it just a cold and fever, just drink some water. ”
Aunt Xu looked at these two people, her heart was very unpleasant, coupled with the headache and brain fever, she went back to the house to sleep.
When Aunt Xu was sleeping confusedly, she heard her mother coming, and her mother said in the living room: "This down jacket on me was bought last year." Now this style is not fashionable, I want to buy a new one, but there is no money. ”
The daughter-in-law immediately said: "Mom, I didn't just give you 5,000 yuan the other day, how come, playing mahjong lost out?" ”
The son said: "Wife, you don't care if your mother has lost, and then transfer 5,000 to her, or you will get it." ”
Hearing this conversation, Aunt Xu was really chilled! They were so ill that their sons and daughters-in-law didn't pay any attention to them, and their mothers didn't do anything, but they gave so much money. Now I still have money in hand, but when the money is spent, can I count on my son and daughter-in-law? It is estimated that it is not possible, so Aunt Xu decided to go back home.
In the early morning of the next day, Aunt Xu quietly returned to the countryside. On the way, she sent a message to her son, saying that she would not come to take the child in the future, and let her son and daughter-in-law think of their own way!
Later, Aunt Xu has been living in the countryside, found a job in a private factory, and has a good life. Because she did not want to take the child, her son and daughter-in-law had an opinion of her, so she hardly went back to the countryside to see her. Aunt Xu didn't care anymore, she had already thought about it, saved money now, and went to live in a nursing home when she was old.
Children know how to be grateful, and parents want to help them
Families should take care of and help each other, parents should be considerate of their children, and children should know how to be filial to their parents, and the family will be better and better. The son is married and married, and if he needs the help of his mother-in-law to take care of the child, if the mother-in-law's situation allows, he must help the son's family.
But the premise is that the children should know how to be grateful, and the mother-in-law takes the child, which is a love, not a duty. Raising children is the obligation of parents, not grandparents, so children should be grateful for their parents' efforts.
Aunt Xu was happy to go to her son's house, and she also paid wholeheartedly for her son's family, but her son's daughter-in-law was not grateful to her. When she had a fever, her son and daughter-in-law did not take care of her, so what was the point of her efforts?
The mother-in-law goes to the son's house to help with the child, and the son and daughter-in-law also have to take care of the mother-in-law. The son and daughter-in-law desperately squeeze from Aunt Xu, and then go to honor their father-in-law and mother-in-law, Aunt Xu's heart will of course be unhappy, which is also the common sentiment of people.
Children do not know gratitude, and parents must leave a good way out for themselves
Parents do not ask their children for much in return, but at least they must know how to be grateful and know the parents' efforts. If the children do not understand gratitude and are selfish, then the parents cannot blindly give.
Aunt Xu took the child at her son's house, paid for it, and spent 200,000 yuan in two years, and the son and daughter-in-law felt that it was taken for granted. If Aunt Xu runs out of money in her hands, can she count on her son and daughter-in-law? If you can count on it, it doesn't matter, your own money is spent, anyway, it is a family.
But what if you can't count on it? At that time, Aunt Xu is old, has no wife, and has no money on hand, so what should she do? Therefore, the old man still has to keep some money in his hand as much as possible, don't even make the coffin book, and be prepared.
Although money is not omnipotent, if the children are not filial piety and the elderly have no money in their hands, it will be even more bitter. Aunt Xu realized that her son and daughter-in-law had no conscience, so she stopped the loss in time and returned to the countryside to live her old age.
Life is not easy in life, when you are young, you have suffered, and when you are old, you should enjoy your old age in peace. Parents also have to give their children to see if it is worth it. If children know how to be grateful and live a good life, then parents will be willing to pay for them.
But if the children do not understand filial piety, cannot understand their parents, and just blindly ask for it from their parents, then the parents must keep the pension money and leave a hand for themselves. People's hearts are unpredictable, relying on no one is better than relying on themselves, do not think that their children must be reliable, sometimes not necessarily.
Author: A creator in the field of emotions, focusing on various issues in the field of emotions, welcome to pay attention. Life has warmth because of love and love, let us grow in love, and spend every day in true feelings.