Text/Zhiheng
Figure/ From the Network If there is infringement contact deleted
—
"Mom, I'll give you five thousand dollars a month, and you can help me with my children."
After Aunt Wu received her daughter-in-law's WeChat, she frowned. It's not that she doesn't want to take her granddaughter, nor is she afraid of being short of money.
This was her second granddaughter, the eldest granddaughter she had brought out, but she felt chills when she remembered how her daughter-in-law treated her when she brought her eldest granddaughter.
At that time, when she learned that her daughter-in-law was pregnant, she was overjoyed, and she also felt in her heart that the girl had married into her own family, and now that she was pregnant, she must treat others well, so she carried twenty thousand yuan in her pocket and went to her son's house to personally take care of her daughter-in-law's diet and living.
When her daughter-in-law became pregnant in the later stages and had limited mobility, she even washed her underwear and underwear. The daughter-in-law is confinement, she not only has to change the pattern to make a confinement meal, but also to take care of the daughter-in-law, take care of the children, and she is very busy.
A month later, she had back pain, but no one said anything, nor did she complain. As a woman, she did not want her daughter-in-law to suffer the pain she had suffered when she was a daughter-in-law.
At the same time, she took out a pension of 30,000 yuan and handed it to her daughter-in-law, who could not work.
To tell the truth, she felt that she, as a mother-in-law, was enough to take care of her daughter-in-law's mind. Unexpectedly, her blind efforts did not make the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law more harmonious.
That time, she was too sleepy to watch the children and accidentally fell asleep, causing her eight-month-old granddaughter to fall off the couch and fall to the floor. After the daughter-in-law who went out shopping with her girlfriend to relax saw it from the monitor, she was furious and blamed her for seeing that the child could fall asleep.
In fact, Aunt Wu is very careful, she laid the quilt on the ground in advance, and put a few pillows, even if the child falls down, it will not be good.
As a grandmother, she was distressed about her granddaughter, never sloppy in taking care of her granddaughter, and this time she was too tired to fall asleep on purpose.
But the daughter-in-law not only did not understand herself, but also blamed herself so much, and even said dirty words to herself, Aunt Wu was very sad, took care of her granddaughter until one and a half years old, and then returned to her hometown.
Now that her daughter-in-law is pregnant again, she has the heart to take care of it, but she does not dare. Now that she is older, her physical strength is not as good as before, her work is not as careful as before, her memory is not good, and then there are some accidents, not only she regrets it for a lifetime, I am afraid that her daughter-in-law will not let herself go, so Aunt Wu resolutely refused after receiving the news from her daughter-in-law.
Unexpectedly, her refusal angered her daughter-in-law, who came to her door the next day and scolded her, accusing her of not being willing to take care of her because she had given birth to a granddaughter and not having a boy to inherit their family lineage.
Aunt Wu was very aggrieved, and she was sad to see her daughter-in-law who was shouting and making trouble at home. She is also a woman, she has never had the idea of preferring sons to daughters, it doesn't matter if she can have grandchildren, she also likes her granddaughters.
No matter how she explained it, her daughter-in-law was stubborn. Aunt Wu was sad in her heart, and she also sighed very much, maybe between the daughter-in-law and the mother-in-law, there is always a layer, born distrustful, born only want to take and do not want to pay.
I am very sad about Aunt Wu's suffering, although there are not many evil mothers-in-law now, but it is rare for a good mother-in-law like her. Perhaps, as she said, the daughter-in-law and the mother-in-law are not mothers and daughters after all, and they cannot understand each other in many things, especially in the care of children.
There are many such cases around us, the mother-in-law accidentally had an accident while taking care of the child, and the daughter-in-law completely ignored the mother-in-law who was also very sad and guilty, and opened her mouth to scold the mother-in-law.
Instead, your own mother can see that the child has a little accident, but she can take care of the child at the same time, comfort her own mother, do not worry and be afraid.
The attitude of a daughter-in-law to her mother-in-law and mother-in-law is not that she can be level with a bowl of water; similarly, a mother-in-law cannot treat her own daughter and daughter-in-law with a bowl of water in many cases.
The most fundamental reason for this phenomenon is that most of them talk about kinship in terms of "blood relations". Because you have raised me, I should be good to you, because you have not raised me, so I should be bad to you.
In fact, in various relationships, sometimes even blood relations are not well maintained.
In my opinion, I think that when dealing with the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, we may as well not treat the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law as a mother-in-law relationship, but try to see it as "friendship", those who cannot handle the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, or cannot communicate with their daughter-in-law, may wish to try to get along in the form of "forgetting the year", do not take the mother-daughter theory, do not value the affection between each other, but treat each other as friends and confidants.
For example, when caring for children, the daughter-in-law should understand that the mother-in-law, as a "friend", is not obliged to bring you children. Their mission as parents is to raise their sons well, not to help their sons and daughters-in-law with their children.
And the mother-in-law should also understand that unless the life of the daughter-in-law and son is particularly difficult, do not be a good old man and show them children. After a lifetime of hard work, this time should enjoy the old age, rather than allowing yourself to overdraft your already unhealthy body.
When the daughter-in-law and the mother-in-law can chat with each other as friends, communicate with each other, some things and contradictions can be completely avoided.
The essence of this mode of identity switching and getting along actually comes from a writer.
The writer Bondarev once said: "The root of all human suffering stems from the lack of a sense of boundary." "When the mother-in-law relationship between the daughter-in-law and the mother-in-law becomes a friendship, it is actually equivalent to pulling away the distance and having a sense of boundary."
People have a sense of boundaries, and many things are no longer taken for granted. At the same time, after having this sense of boundaries, the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law can have more mutual respect and understanding, and can stand in each other's position to think about problems.
Of course, some unreasonable mother-in-law, or daughter-in-law, can not convert each other's feelings, they are equivalent to drilling the horns of the bull on this kind of issue, identifying their own way of thinking, and cannot be changed.
The best way to deal with such people is to keep a distance. There's an old saying: I can't afford it, I can hide it.
Since ancient times, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has been very delicate. In order to avoid the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, we are also constantly making efforts. If you are also facing such a problem, like Aunt Wu encounters a tricky thing, you may wish to try this, be friends with each other, and then talk about the love of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
END.