The standard of a good mother-in-law is often mentioned, and it should also be said that what is a qualified daughter-in-law. Whether it is a good mother-in-law or a good daughter-in-law, the so-called "good" can never be defined as a saddle before and after the horse, kidnapping each other with the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, in order to satisfy their own selfish desires, even laziness.
The relationship is mutual, not by the will and efforts of any one person to determine the outcome, in the end, a good mother-in-law meets a good daughter-in-law, and a good daughter-in-law meets a good mother-in-law.
Of course, even if two people are good, there are unpleasant times, just like teeth and tongues also fight, let alone two people.
Because everyone is a unique individual, this means that two people cannot have exactly the same will, thoughts, cognition, temperament, and so on.
What does a qualified daughter-in-law look like? See if you did it?
1, can complete the life of the mother-in-law.
She has her own life, and her mother-in-law should also have her mother-in-law's life, and in this matter, she understands, respects, and supports. Instead of kidnapping your mother-in-law after marriage, you can't have your own life, you should take my life as the center and circle around my life every day.
Mother-in-law should be reasonable, and daughter-in-law should also be reasonable, and if one party is not clear, don't think of a harmonious mother-in-law relationship.
Therefore, we cannot use the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law to kidnap the other party and deprive the other party of some of its rights and freedoms. People only live a lifetime, and they should have their own lives.
Regardless of whether the mother-in-law's lifestyle and living habits are acceptable to themselves, it does not matter, after all, it is the life of the mother-in-law, and at most some suggestions are made for some unhealthy lifestyles and laws of the mother-in-law.
Thinking from the other side, don't you also hope to be able to decide your own life? Don't want to live in anyone's arrangement.
To do this, it seems very simple, in fact, there are many things to test, such as her empathy, reasonableness, self-reliance and so on.
2, can live independently.
The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is only a relationship, not necessarily a practical content, but also separate in life. If life is inseparable, there are only two possibilities, one side has to interfere in the life of the other party; one side always wants to covet the benefits of the other party.
This is also the main cause of the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, who want to covet each other's benefits, but they are not greedy, or they want to covet each other's benefits, but they do not want to cross the line of their own lives.
Living independently, this is what everyone has to do after marriage, and it is also what everyone should demand of themselves.
Unconventionally supporting the mother-in-law, or taking it for granted, asking the mother-in-law to wash and cook for herself and take the children, feels that this is what a mother-in-law should do. It can only be said that when they encounter difficulties, there is affection between the family, and the mother-in-law can lend a helping hand in time.
This is to help, rather than directly take responsibility for you, but also can not use the mother-in-law to meet their own laziness and giant babies, married, is an adult, you have to use their independence, for your children to support a piece of the sky, did not think well to take on this responsibility, it is best not to get married and have children.
3, not double standard.
If the same sentence comes from the mouth of the mother-in-law, you will be dissatisfied, you will be angry, and you will remember hate, but if it comes from the mouth of the mother, you will be generous, tolerant, and understanding.
Don't be so sure you're an empathetic person, sometimes your empathy is just an inclusion of your loved ones.
Or, the mother-in-law takes the child, the child accidentally falls, and endlessly accuses the mother-in-law; the mother takes the child, the child accidentally falls, and all kinds of relief to the mother. The same thing, you will only feel sorry for your mother, but if you don't feel sorry for your mother-in-law, you will not care about your mother-in-law's feelings at all.
Or even only have an impersonal harshness on the in-laws, as if the in-laws should pay more for you and for the children, and your parents, even if they have nothing to pay for the children, you can find reasons for them.
Of course, here is just an example, it may not be so serious, but it may be even more excessive.
Although there is no mother-daughter affection between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, there must be some emotional bias, but it cannot be unreasonable and manipulate right and wrong because of emotional bias.
4, there is no distinction between right and wrong.
Whether it is a good daughter-in-law or a good mother-in-law, she must understand people, and she must be tolerant, no matter what happens to her, we will not care about each other's right or wrong. Why? No matter how big the conflict and contradiction, there is no right or wrong, but each other's positions, different angles, and different ideas.
In the final analysis, there is no one who is right and who is wrong, you feel that you are justified, it is only your own feelings, in fact, everyone's ideas are personal subjective thoughts.
So no one can say who is right and who is wrong.
The things of the past have passed, and no one will remember revenge, let alone turn over the old accounts when there is a conflict, and directly rely on which one thing will completely negate a person.
When, no matter whether each other is right or wrong, when encountering something, they will not have to make a thorough and clear understanding, then the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law can gradually tend to harmony.
In fact, it is not difficult to be a mother-in-law and a daughter-in-law, as long as the relationship is sorted out and the sense of boundaries that should be maintained is maintained, there will not be too many contradictions. The most important thing is that life must be separated, otherwise the living habits and lifestyles of the two generations are too different.
Even the best people have shortcomings, and all the shortcomings are not to be changed, but to be accepted.
If one party is always staring at the shortcomings of the other party, then the relationship is not going to get along, and when you can try to magnify the advantages of the other party, then there are fewer shortcomings to see, or you can't see the shortcomings of the other party.
Correct your attitude, because the harmonious relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is not a simple problem of incompatibility, and then it is never to have too high expectations for the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, and how much expectation there is, how much disappointment there will be.
Almost on the line, almost is good, almost is qualified, all the same relationships, is the best relationship, too close and too far, too good and too bad can not work.
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