Do you think that people who made mistakes when they were young, who were sorry for their families, who asked their spouses and children for forgiveness when they were old, realized they were wrong, or were they trying to escape punishment?
The writer Zweig said: All the gifts of fate are secretly marked with prices. You have to exchange it in another way, or pay it back.
Making a mistake, being punished, paying a price, is also a causal relationship, you have done evil, you have hurt others, you have to repay, this is called fairness. If a simple "sorry" can be exchanged for a "it's okay" and you can erase the harm you have caused to your spouse, then isn't there any fear when people make mistakes?
Although it is said that people are not sages and sages can be blameless, there is also a saying that the prodigal son does not change the gold, but not all mistakes have the opportunity to be corrected, not all mistakes deserve to be forgiven by others, as for the prodigal son to turn back, except for your parents, who is willing to spend decades waiting for your prodigal son to turn back? It is not so much that the prodigal son does not change his head, but that you should take care of yourself and not become the prodigal son.
"My mother does not forgive you, not stingy, called duty, don't say my mother, I can't forgive you." 」 No matter how many apologies the 64-year-old father apologized, Mr. Ma, 37, was indifferent.
01.34 years have not seen, I almost do not recognize the man in front of me is my father;
Mr. Ma is 37 years old this year, before getting married, he has been dependent on his mother, as for his father, since beating him 7 years old, he has not seen his biological father, and the biological father has not fulfilled the obligation to raise his son.
Eleven years ago, Mr. Ma married his college classmate and settled in the city. After the birth of his son, with the consent of his daughter-in-law, Mr. Ma took his mother, who lived in his hometown, to the city to help bring the baby. After the mother came, she got along well with her daughter-in-law, and her mother was kind, kind, diligent and reasonable, which dispelled the daughter-in-law's concern that the relationship between the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law of the single-parent family was not good, and left the mother-in-law behind. Last year, Mr. and Mrs. Ma bought a small house for their mother-in-law to use for the elderly, and the family lived a happy and harmonious life.
"My daughter-in-law called me and said I had an old man who came to my mom, and my mom said it was my dad. They quarreled, my daughter-in-law didn't know what to do, let me go over and break the siege, so I met my father at the door of my mother's house, I haven't seen him for 34 years, I can hardly recognize it, the man who can't move to yell at his wife, raise his fist, abandon his wife and son has become old, sloppy. ”
After the father saw Mr. Ma, he no longer had a stalemate with his ex-wife and daughter-in-law, but turned to Mr. Ma, apologized to Mr. Ma one by one, repented that he had abandoned his wife and son, absent from his son's 30 years of growth, and wanted to make up for his son with the rest of his life.
"Make up for me? Well said, how to make up for it? Give money or give what? What did he come to do, when I didn't know? It is estimated that no one is old-age, thinking of my son! ”
02. When he abandoned his wife and son 30 years ago, I was only 7 years old, and crying and begging him was useless;
When his father abandoned his wife and son, Mr. Ma was only 7 years old, and the scene of 30 years mr. Ma could not be forgotten in his life.
"When he was 25 years old, he married my mother under the arrangement of my grandparents, and the two of them only met 3 times before they got married, there was not much emotional foundation, and they had a good time at the beginning. After I was born, his task of passing on the inheritance was completed, and his heart was wild, not waiting to see my mother, not only angry at my mother at every turn, but also moved his hands, and he was fascinated by other women, despite the pleas of my mother and grandparents, and had to divorce. ”
According to Mr. Ma's mother, the woman did not want to be a stepmother, so Mr. Ma did not even want his son, forcing his wife to take her son out of the egg. Mr. Ma's grandparents were not happy, and seeing that they could not persuade their son, they threw Mr. Ma's father out of the house.
"He left, and when he left, he threw away my unwilling hand, turned a deaf ear to the sound behind me, and hospitalized Grandpa, who was so angry that she sat on the ground and cried, and followed the woman. He hasn't been back for 34 years, his grandparents have died, and he hasn't come back. ”
Referring to his father, the hatred in Mr. Ma's tone was obviously greater than other feelings.
03. My mother has worked hard for me for most of her life, it is time to enjoy the blessings, you don't want to destroy my mother's happiness;
After the father abandoned his wife and son, in order to survive, Mr. Ma's mother took her son to run to her brother-in-law, and went to work in a factory with the help of her brother, Mr. Ma grew up with his cousin, fortunately, his uncle and aunt are kind and generous people, and they are good to Mr. Ma.
"When he first left, I was still looking forward to the day when he would come back, hug me again, and talk back to my mother, and make my mother cry." At that time, I was quite rebellious, not good to bring, not less troublesome, now think about it, more is not worth it. ”
Under the care of his aunt and uncle and the full support of his mother, Mr. Ma was admitted to college, found a good job, started a family, and lived a happy and happy life. At this time, seeing his father, whom he had not seen for 34 years, Mr. Ma not only did not want him, but he was eager for him to disappear immediately.
30 years ago, he abandoned his wife and son, and when he was 64 years old, he asked his ex-wife to take him in, whether his father apologized or pretended to be pitiful, Mr. Ma directly asked: "Are you a rag when my mother is collecting?" ”
Mr. Ma's father was not dead-hearted, and wanted to tell his son about his 34 years of experience, it seemed that he was quite unhappy, but Mr. Ma was not interested in this, and decisively issued an eviction order: "No matter how miserable you are, it is useless, and you can no longer let me have the slightest father-son feeling for you." If you want me to support you, you can, go sue me, and I'll see what you can get. As for wanting to be with my mother, let me serve you, there is no door. If you dare to disturb my mother again, Hugh blames me for not being polite. ”
Mr. Ma told the security guards in the neighborhood where he and his mother would not let his father in again, and the relatives told Mr. Ma that his father wanted the relatives to intercede, and the relatives scoffed at him and wanted to stay away.
"Let him go, sue me, get out of here, do it, I will never give in." He owes me his father's love and doesn't deserve me to support him. ”
04. The person who has tasted the bitter fruit and asks for your forgiveness, it is better to let him roll as far as possible.
Born without raising, after getting old and then under the banner of my mistake, I want to exchange a happy and stable old age through a few tears, how can there be such a good thing under the heavens?
Yishu said: "Anyone who leaves you is not a sudden decision, people's hearts are slowly getting cold, the leaves are gradually turning yellow, the story is slowly writing to the end, and love is because there are too many disappointments to become unlove." ”
Whether it is a spouse or a child, they are not willing to forgive you, just because their hearts are already cold, they are hurt by you, they are broken, and they see you in pain, how can they let go and reconcile with you as before? Broken mirror round, just talk, this rift can never disappear.
The person who has tasted the bitter fruit and asks for your forgiveness is better to let him roll as far as possible.
Just like the sentence of Sheng Minglan in "Knowing or Not": "If we all repay our grievances with virtue, why should we repay morality?" Repaying straight with directness and repaying virtue with virtue knows that there will be good and evil in the world. ”
To complain with virtue depends on whether that person is qualified to make you forgive. Don't forgive, look at your own heart, don't force yourself, and don't let others be morally kidnapped. Once their first moral kidnapping is successful, they will take your grip and make demands again and again, inching forward and making you feel even more miserable.
END.
Today's topic: Do you think Mr. Ma's father deserves to be forgiven by his wife and children? Feel free to share your views in the comments section.