Professor Napier said in The Family on a Hot Pot:
Assuming that the marital problem is not directly faced, and the emotions and pressures buried and accumulated by both husband and wife are not resolved in time, there will be two exits, one is to transfer the pressure and emotions to the children, and the children become the "scapegoats" of the problem marriage. Second, couples turn to external stimuli to make up for the lack of inner emotions.
Xiao Lu and Yinuo's marriage should have reached the brink of both.
Although the two were sweet at first, from school uniforms to wedding dresses. However, the arrival of new life completely disrupted their plans and changed their lives.
In the year after giving birth, Yinuo transformed from a dedicated and stable people's teacher into a novice mother who circled around her children.
This transformation made Yinuo anxious.
Xiao Lu was a man, and his position in his career was not much affected, but the change in family structure still brought many uncontrollable events to his life.
It is precisely because men seem to have no influence on their careers, which makes Yinuo even more unwilling. When she is free, she will sit alone in the bathtub, facing the sun, thinking about life.
Yinuo's inner negative emotions are increasing; Xiao Lu is under increasing pressure to balance his career and family.
Over time, both have been feeling unusually tired in this "triangle relationship".
At first, I felt that I could feel a lot of Yinuo's feelings, after all, no one is born to be a mother. In the face of new life, the brain will short-circuit, will be a mess, this is perfectly normal.
But after seeing Xiao Lu's next wife, Dong Fan, I realized that my wife could still do such a job.
Yinuo and Dong Fan knew who was more suitable for Xiao Lu as soon as they compared.
Xiao Lu has his selfishness and his incompleteness, but Yinuo is far less than one-tenth of Dong Fan's.
Shaw Road in Marriage
Xiao Lu has always been excellent in his work. He is the partner of the boss who has supported each other all the way since he started his business. When starting a business, the two of them often stayed up for a few overnight jobs.
In order to run the business, Xiao Lu often had a meal without a meal. Coupled with long-term socializing, his stomach has long been overloaded. But his goal is very clear, that is, to get the order.
In addition to that fighting spirit, Xiao Lu also has extraordinary flexibility and wit. No matter how hard you can't get down in your colleagues, you can easily solve it when you get to Xiao Lu.
This is why some people have to spend a lot of money to dig the corner of Xiao Lu; after Xiao Lu resigned, the former boss remembered Xiao Lu, and everyone around him was not as good as Xiao Lu.
Xiao Lu, who is so fragrant and steamy in the workplace, xiao Lu, who has these achievements in his mind and is busy at work, is busy as a dog during the day, and naturally does not have extra energy to take care of his children when he returns home at night.
Sometimes Yinuo asked Xiao Lu to help him take care of the children at night, and Xiao Lu promised to be good, but when it came to feeding at night, Yinuo always couldn't wake him up.
Coupled with the man's one-tendon personality, Xiao Lu's care is probably used in work, and as soon as he relaxes after arriving home, he is nervous and careless.
As the days passed, Yinuo's heart had layer after layer of resentment and disappointment for Xiao Lu.
These complaints and disappointments will always be vented in a different way. Again and again, it made Xiao Lu feel more pressure, and even wanted to escape.
To sum up Xiao Lu's state in marriage, he is busy with work, socializing a lot, and sometimes he is really involuntary.
Fang Yinuo in marriage
Fang Yinuo looked like the kind of person who had a spiritual purity. She is a teacher, and she usually does things according to the rules, and there is a saying.
She is not like Xiao Lu's "greasy mouth and slippery tongue", nor is she as grinning as Xiao Lu. Many things are not promised on the surface, but in fact, she keeps them in mind, and when she has time, she turns them over one by one.
Compared with Xiao Lu, Yinuo compares one board and one glance.
In addition, just after giving birth, her mind completely fell on her daughter Hehe, and her daughter's daily eating and drinking became her biggest problem.
Once the people's teachers, now doing these things of serving the little hairy heads to eat and drink Lasa, sometimes they can't do it well, and Yinuo will inevitably have self-blame and discouragement caused by the gap.
At this time, Fang Yinuo, she can take care of herself and children is already good, basically ignoring the movement of her husband Xiao Lu.
Or Fang's mother felt keen and let her daughter stare at Xiao Lu more.
Yinuo's "laissez-faire" of Xiao Lu, table
The face is generous, it is trust, and it is actually numb to the marital relationship.
If it is trust, at least she will know how tired her husband is outside, how much she can give some spiritual comfort when she comes home, and talk to Xiao Lu about her heart, even if it is a casual care.
But I hardly heard Yinuo's concern for Xiao Lu.
Whether it was day or night, Yinuo's heart was on the little baby Hehe.
If you trust, you will not just listen to Zhu Zhu's one-sided words and leave the table in anger.
Dong Fan in marriage
Without Dong Fan, I would feel that Yinuo has done a good job, and she has done what a good mother should do.
But compared with Dong Fan, I knew that it was far behind.
Yinuo's identity is not only his mother, but also his wife.
If a mother only has a child in her eyes, but does not have a child's father, it is not beneficial to the growth of the baby.
For children, the healthiest and happiest environment is to have a home where mom and dad love each other.
During this period, I also saw some bullet screens talking about Yinuo's excessive nervousness. The focus on children is overexpansed. This does more harm than good for the children, for themselves, and for their families.
The main thing is that if a wife loves her husband, her concern cannot be hidden.
Just like Dong Fan.
Xiao Lu, who left Yinuo and married Dong Fan, was busier. Xiao Lu was busy from falling in love with Dong Fan to getting married, and never stopped.
In order to treat Hehe's illness, Xiao Lu changed his job and became busier. I often rush to work after a few bites of food.
Dong Fan not only did not blame him, but often saw her cooking for Xiao Luxue and making stomach medicine for Xiao Lu. As soon as Xiao Lu arrived home, Dong Fan got up to greet him and cared for him for a while.
With this alone, Xiao Lu was much happier after being with Dong Fan.
What is more not simple is that in addition to tolerating Xiao Lu's work, Dong Fan is also sincerely accepting and tolerant of his connection with his ex-wife and the entanglement with his ex-wife's family.
Even if it was the first time to get married, even if it was a big beauty, the job was excellent, but she never showed a sense of superiority in front of Xiao Lu, but instead wanted to face the pressure with him.
In the face of Xiao Lu's time and time again releasing pigeons to accompany the sudden situation of Hehe, Dong Fan also has a time that is difficult to digest and cannot let go, she will watch a movie silently alone, and shed tears while watching.
The next day, she would still give Xiao Lu the sweetest smile.
The only time he was angry was when Xiao Lu wanted to have another child with Yinuo to save Hehe. This time, the madness also allowed the audience to see the most real Dong Fan.
In marriage, Dong Fan's love for Xiao Lu is flesh and blood, and it is alive; and Yinuo's love for Xiao Lu may disappear because of the precipitation of days, or it may be covered up by Yinuo's strong personality.
Write at the end:
Xiao Lu is a very enterprising man, this is because he had a difficult life when he was a child, so he was poor and afraid.
In fact, Xiao Lu needs both physical care and understanding, as well as spiritual support.
Yinuo listened to Zhu Zhu's one-sided words and divorced Xiao Lu with an iron heart, and did not let Xiao Lu look at the child; Dong Fan could tolerate everything about Xiao Lu, even if he contacted his ex-wife again and again and almost had to have a child.
Who is more suitable for Xiao Lu is already clear at a glance.
But
Not all men who "don't care about home" can meet Dong Fan
Men should still be advised to pay attention to balancing career and family. Otherwise, the unrest in the back garden will also hurt the cause.
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