Text / Kaforniay
Recently, the People's Daily fiercely criticized the domestic drama "Dear Child" for creating fear of marriage anxiety.
This popular drama "Dear Child", which is frequently searched for and widely discussed by netizens, in the first few episodes, the protagonist Fang Yinuo really showed the role of mother to everyone as soon as he opened. Pregnant in October, the body is burdensome, the skin is speckled, and the stomach is full of stretch marks. He went to give birth alone, and the husband was not responsible.
After giving birth to a child, the husband did not help, the mother-in-law helped to take the child, smoked while playing mahjong, and finally fell the child despite the stroller. Even worse, when Fang Yinuo was alone to take care of the child and was sick, her husband Xiao Lu cheated.
Some people scold the heroine for being overly anxious, emotional, easy to get excited, too sensitive and neurotic, and some people scold Xiao Lu as a scumbag and irresponsible, while hating the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, hating marriage and childbearing.
After reading it, there is a thought of not daring to get married and dare not have children. Because this drama brings together all the dog blood plots and tells us that as long as people have children, they will become neurotic.
I think it's quite true that "Dear Little Kid" doesn't portray women as perfect mothers, nor does it portray men as a waste father who does nothing, nor is it simply widowed parenting.
Just like Yi Nengjing said, the sooner you know that marriage and family affection need to be soberly looked at, the more happy people will be.
Happy families are all similar, while unhappy families have all kinds of misfortunes.
But the elders urge you to get married, and they will not analyze the good and bad for you, but will only use false happiness to force you to quickly start a family, and tell you: "If marriage is not good, why should others marry twice?" ”
The state media criticized the drama to create anxiety, I don't think so.
Human fear is always unknown, and emotions of anxiety and regret are more likely to arise before the risk of uncertainty in the future. And when the TV series concentrates on the hardships of postpartum and child-rearing, using a magnifying glass to show some details that we have not seen in ordinary days, so that we can see the specific details, but have the ability to predict and control the overall situation of the right medicine.
Because you can know a chicken feather in advance, understand the physical embarrassment before and after pregnancy, intergenerational parenting conflicts, there is no perfect husband and mother-in-law, etc., you can have enough psychological preparation, more able to prevent and resist risks, and freely control your life.
So from this play, as a woman, what truth can we understand, and what presets can we lower?
1. Give up unrealistic fantasies about your partner
Let's take a look at what roles the couple play?
The heroine is a teacher, the appearance is the third trimester, the mood is not pleasing, the mobility is inconvenient, she will not cook her own food or call for takeaway, and she will only wait for her husband to pack meals and go home.
What role does husband Xiao Lu play?
He does even better than many men.
He is considerate and caring, responds to the needs of his wife in the third trimester, cuts fruit, and soaks his feet; when there is a conflict between his daughter-in-law and his mother-in-law, he habitually stands on his wife's side, understands his wife's emotions, and mediates the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
He is gentle and patient, coaxing his wife to be first-class in kung fu, although some people also say that it is and thin mud, there is no solution to the problem at all, only cheating.
But he is not a false wife demon, but also has shortcomings, he speaks well, but his actions will be lazy, his wife overslept at home when she gave birth; he did not want to go home to face chicken feathers when he worked overtime in the company.
There is no perfect husband and father, no perfect marriage for the family, and no perfect children.
In the play, Fang Yinuo's child HeHe is crying as soon as he appears, and the children you give birth to cannot be controlled by you, not to mention that a partner who is not related by blood cannot be completely at your mercy and submit to you unconditionally without dignity.
Accepting flaws is the norm.
2, strong control, love children too much to love the self
From the title of the play, it is known that "Dear Child", the child is the focus, the child is above everyone, and the whole play is a tragedy caused by a group of people surrounding the child.
The heroine divorced her cheating husband for the sake of the child; the daughter fell ill, abandoned the current, and went back to remarry; for the umbilical cord blood to save the daughter, and also gave birth to a child, what is the child born with the mission of saving the sister?
Every step of the choice is doing extreme behavior, but also self-moved to elevate it to the ultimate parental love, touched very much.
Self-touched love is actually very ineffective.
On the personality of the protagonist, Fang Yinuo has a sharp personality, strong, and screwed, after giving birth to a child, she is almost more anxious than most mothers, so the sister-in-law, the mother-in-law, and the mother-in-law are not looking at one.
Sometimes it is a common problem in the teaching profession. Under their own professional tracks and educational authority, they absolutely do not allow their children to have any points of outstanding grades, nor do they allow others to point fingers at her educational authority.
Therefore, the children of teachers, under the influence of teachers, children who flow with the strongest intelligence of teachers, the probability of becoming talents is actually not high.
3, positive emotions need to flow, emotional is the most important
After watching the play, I admired the quality of Ren Suxi's actors, acting too depressed, and no matter what people around them did, they were wrong. Husbands, mothers-in-law, and mothers do the right thing, she does not have any positive feedback, and the emotional value to the people around her is too low.
In fact, you always feel that fate has treated you badly, and people around you are not good to you, have you ever thought that this feeling and cognition are mutual?
No one likes people who have a sad face, always complain, and double standards. Blame yourself with the heart of a person, and forgive others with a heart of forgiveness.
Face life with a positive attitude and luck is all around you.
—— Author of today ——
Kaforniay
-Featured image- From the network
-Editor- Lin Jiayin
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