Staying at home during the May Day holiday, I chased the episode "Dear Little Child".
Watching the male protagonist Xiao Lu (played by Qin Hao) in the play all kinds of unreliable,
It's really angry.
No wonder his real wife, Yi Nengjing, couldn't help but get angry: "Qin Hao, how can you do this to your wife?" ”
Unsurprisingly, the marriage between Xiao Lu and Fang Yinuo (played by Ren Suxi) in the play ended in divorce soon.
In fact, although Xiao Lu is unreliable, the husband and wife still have a certain emotional basis.
Why did it get out of hand?
At this time, you may wish to analyze the marriage from an economic point of view, you can understand why these two people in the play need to be rebuilt.
At the beginning of the play, Fang Yinuo is gritting his teeth to produce.
Xiao Lu leisurely wandered home, turned on the TV, and ate fruit.
It doesn't look reliable.
Before giving birth to the child, Xiao Lu swore that the child would be taken care of by him;
As a result, when the child was in the middle of the night, he slept like a dead pig and could not wake up.
It can be said that the promise he made was basically not fulfilled.
But to tell the truth, at the beginning, Xiao Lu still wanted to help.
He went to buy fish to give his wife Fang Yinuo milk, but he mistakenly bought crucian carp as herring.
After returning home, he was disgusted by Fang Yinuo: "I don't understand that non-old people rush to get it." ”
In a word, his enthusiasm was completely extinguished.
Through these small details, you can get a glimpse of the state of the two in marriage.
One inaction, one too strong.
This state of the two also laid the groundwork for future marriage changes.
For marriage, the economist Xue Zhaofeng once made a metaphor:
"Marriage is actually a partnership to start a company."
Since we are opening a company together, the relationship between husband and wife can be said to be partners.
The responsibility of the partners is to integrate superior resources, give full play to their respective strengths, and maintain a balanced development of the company's economy.
It's just that marriage is like an economic system, it is susceptible to various factors and cannot maintain a balanced state at all times.
The first factor that leads to imbalance is that couples can't cope with the changes brought about by their children.
Having a child, so to speak, is equivalent to the company developing a new product.
How the new product operates naturally requires two people to work together to participate and develop corresponding coping strategies.
However, in the play, for children, Xiao Lu can be said to be unattended.
He didn't realize that he had been promoted to father and needed to take responsibility for a new life.
Of course, Fang Yinuo also has problems.
Seeing her husband do something wrong, she was strong and accustomed, and her first reaction was to complain, completely negating the changes made by Xiao Lu.
Xiao Lu, who was denied, finally directly laid out and did not go home.
Two partners, one is rotten, doing nothing; one is dead, the more he thinks, the more angry he is;
Can this partnership work?
The answer is understandable.
In this part of production, the most responsible and the most paid is the mother Fang Yinuo, Xiao Lu's participation is actually not high.
Then in the aspect of parenting, Xiao Lu, as a husband, should have a certain sense of responsibility and participate in parenting together.
Even if Xiao Lu didn't do a good job at the beginning, Fang Yinuo should also encourage him more, try to let go, and cultivate Xiao Lu's ability to carry babies.
The fertility process will inevitably encounter various problems,
If Xiao Lu and Fang Yinuo can plan in advance, maintain timely communication, and share parenting responsibilities, then they will not go to the step of divorce.
In addition to not knowing how to deal with the various changes brought about by childbirth, the inconsistency of the pace of husband and wife is also another major cause of marital imbalance.
After all, the core of marriage is still the relationship between husband and wife.
In the play, the novice mother Fang Yinuo's heart is thrown on the child, and due to the problems of the sister-in-law and the mother-in-law, she and Xiao Lu are inseparable.
Xiao Lu will only be with thin mud, and Fang Yinuo directly began to "cold treatment".
She did not consult with Xiao Lu, and directly asked her mother to move in and watch the children with herself.
Xiao Lu had no room and could only sleep on a small sofa.
Later, Xiao Lu began not to go home, sometimes spending the night in the car.
The topic of the two only revolves around a schedule with a baby.
Even Fang Mu began to complain: "Where are you like husband and wife?" ”
The two who were originally in a good relationship slowly became roommates and had nothing more to say.
The lack of long-term spiritual communication between the two can easily cause information asymmetry.
Information asymmetry, in the joint investment of marriage, is a potentially huge risk.
In addition, the difference in career development has also led to the inconsistency of Fang Yinuo and Xiao Lu's growth pace.
In the play, Fang Yinuo got the opportunity to be promoted to the third class teacher due to his excellent work performance.
She was first happy, and then hesitant.
In the end, she took care of the child and completely gave up the opportunity.
In contrast, Xiao Lu has no such concerns in the workplace.
In reality, many mothers have directly given up their job opportunities and taken care of their families wholeheartedly.
The growth of both husband and wife is not synchronized, and the distance is naturally getting farther and farther.
In the long run, couples lack common topics, the pace is completely inconsistent, and it is easy to let the unbalanced marital relationship come to an end.
It seems that the problem of Xiao Lu and Fang Yinuo's marriage was caused by the birth of a child, but the most fundamental thing is that there is a problem in the communication method between the two.
When encountering disagreements, the two did not communicate in time, one evaded, the other cold handled.
Eventually, it goes farther and farther.
The economics of marriage, if you don't bother to take care of it and don't manage it seriously, it will not be able to maintain a balanced state at all times, and it will be impossible to continue to create benefits for you.
Although Xiao Lu is very unreliable in "Dear Child", Qin Hao, who plays Xiao Lu, knows the way of marriage management very well in reality.
On the surface, he is ten years older than his wife Yi Nengjing, and it seems that this sister-brother love marriage is not very reliable.
Many netizens even directly asserted: "This pair will not last long." ”
However, the two of them have been riddled with so much from the outside world and have gone through the itch for seven years.
When participating in the variety show, it can be seen that the personalities of the two are quite different.
Qin Hao is not good at words, but Yi Nengjing is a talker and is very "doing".
However, the two people with quite large personality differences communicate exceptionally smoothly.
Looking at Qin Hao's spit on his wife, you can see the common denominator in the personalities of the two: they are all true temperaments, what to say, and there is no ambiguity.
More importantly, the two are also very clear about the division of labor in marriage.
Yi Nengjing once revealed that the two took over the work according to the cost performance, as long as one party went out to work, the other party had to stay and take care of the family.
Therefore, Yi Nengjing did not give up her job after giving birth to her daughter.
Participated in "Lang Sister 1", and his career turned red.
The two also maintain communication and keep pace with their children's education issues.
The lack of confidence and steadfastness in the last marriage seems to have been found in Qin Hao's body.
As Qin Hao said in response to the scolding on Weibo:
"I hope that through this drama, more couples can communicate more and communicate more."
Once the problem is found, solve it in time and face it directly.
Instead of just running away and letting the problem expand.
This may be one of the secrets of a long-term balance in a marriage.
The so-called good marriage is probably like this: the husband and wife have a clear division of labor and are discussed.
After all, marriage is a joint investment, and only by keeping the same pace can the days get better and better.