In the TV series "Dear Child", Fang Yinuo set up a sister-in-law to take care of Yuezi before giving birth to a child. Fang Yinuo's mother-in-law did not understand after knowing that she was young and capable and willing to take care of the children, but her daughter-in-law did not ask her for help.
However, Fang Yinuo did not expect that her chosen sister-in-law was so unreliable. First in order to sleep for a while to secretly feed the child milk powder, and then because of the error of judgment caused the child's jaundice to aggravate the hospital, after the incident Yinuo just said a few words to her, she chose not to quit. Fang Yinuo and Xiao Lu were too busy to come, and the replacement could not be found for a while. In desperation, Xiao Lu could only ask his mother to help.
Fang Yinuo's mother-in-law Gao Caiping was very proud, she had said before that the sister-in-law was unreliable, and then it really came true, proving her judgment. Then, she packed up and enthusiastically went to her son's house to help. Fang Yinuo was not happy after knowing that, and there was a reason why she was like this.
First of all, the mother-in-law likes to smoke. This has a detrimental effect on both the child and the physical health of others. She directly stated her attitude and could not accept this habit of her mother-in-law. Xiao Lu also communicated with his mother about this matter, and Gao Caiping happily agreed.
It's just that sometimes she really can't help it, so she takes the opportunity to take the child out for a walk and secretly smokes a few mouthfuls. She thinks it's okay to be outdoors and stay away from your kids. However, her behavior did not escape Fang Yinuo's sensitive sense of smell, and Fang Yinuo complained to Xiao Lu, who was constantly on both sides and thin mud, so there was an unpleasant quarrel between the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
Secondly, the mother-in-law's concept of parenting is relatively backward. Before she went to her son's house, she packed up a large bag of things, which turned out to be the diapers and old clothes that Xiao Lu used when he was a child, and she thought that they had all been burned and detoxified, and there was no problem. However, Fang Yinuo could not accept it, and she was embarrassed to directly reject her mother-in-law, so she could only send the purchased diapers to a friend's house, and then send it by a friend.
Fang Yinuo also asked the mother-in-law to use a pen every day to make a record of the child's daily eating, drinking, and sleeping, so that she could understand the child's health. However, Gao Caiping believes that this matter is both troublesome and unnecessary, often perfunctory, and from time to time to move out his old parenting experience, Fang Yinuo is very unhappy about this.
Finally, the mother-in-law likes to play mahjong. Fang Yinuo mentioned this problem when chatting with friends, and if the mother-in-law does something else while taking the child, she must be distracted, and it is possible to lose the child. Gao Caiping really did not dare to play mahjong, but he could not help but watch others play mahjong, and he would also point out others. It was such a coincidence that she only took a hand for others, and the child fell.
Although the child was not a big problem, this incident made Fang Yinuo completely lose trust in her. Fang Yinuo's mother-in-law knew that she had done something wrong, and she sincerely apologized, and through various performances, hoped to get the forgiveness of her daughter-in-law and let her continue to stay. She also had her own thoughts, she thought that if she left her son's house because of this matter, her son's life would not be better in the future, and she would stay no matter what.
Fang Yinuo's mother was furious when she found out, and had a big fight with Gao Caiping, forcing Xiao Lu to make a decision. On the one hand, his wife and children, on the other hand, his own biological mother, Xiao Lu was very embarrassed, he really couldn't open his mouth to drive his mother away. Fang Yinuo's mother decided to retire early to take care of her daughters in order not to be wronged.
So the old people on both sides stayed and worked together. It is just that the positions of the two old people are different, and there are also differences in ideology and concepts, and it is inevitable that there will be contradictions. Coupled with the previous incidents, Ms. Gao Caiping is more in compromise and forbearance. Their contradictions reached a climax after Xiao Lu's younger brother Xiao Xu arrived, and in a family melee, Xiao Lu, who was sandwiched in the middle, collapsed and Gao Caiping left.
Therefore, Fang Yinuo's mother stayed. In this process, how much Fang Yinuo's mother has paid for her daughter's family, we can imagine. After a long time, Xiao Lu and Fang Yinuo seemed to be used to it. Once, Fang Yinuo went to work without a breast pump, which caused her to have a serious milk swell. When she returned, she blamed her mother for not checking her, and her mother became angry, saying that Fang Yinuo was too dependent on her for everything.
And Xiao Lu, it is precisely with his mother-in-law to help take care of the children, he can put more time and energy into work. His starting point is no problem, he wants to work hard, earn more money, and make a better life for the whole family. His long-term absence has caused too little communication between husband and wife, weakened feelings, and marital problems.
In fact, if the elderly are willing to help with the children, it is really a blessing for the younger generation. However, if the elders manage too much and too widely, not only can not bring help, but also bring trouble to the whole family, and even affect the feelings between the family.
There is a friend, her two children are taken care of by her mother-in-law, she is very satisfied with her mother-in-law, and the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is also very harmonious. According to her description, her mother-in-law was such a person:
1. Very respectful of her ideas. How to take the child to completely listen to the child's mother, even if sometimes the child's mother is wrong, causing bad consequences, the mother-in-law does not complain, but also helps the child's mother to bear the consequences together.
2. Very diligent and hygienic. Wash your hair every day, take a shower often, and change your clothes almost every day. Except for the time with the kids and rest, almost all of them are doing hygiene, packing up toys, and the home is spotless.
3. Never interfere in the affairs of the son and daughter-in-law. After the son and daughter-in-law return home from work, no matter what things they discuss or have conflicts, the mother-in-law never mixes, does not judge, but just does what she should do. Although it can't help, at least it doesn't add to the chaos.
4. Good cooking skills, cook a good meal. This is also a big plus, after the mother-in-law came, buying vegetables, cooking, housework all inclusive, what the family wanted to eat, she will try her best to do, and often do well.
To be honest, such a mother-in-law is really enviable, but it is unattainable, and there will be more or less problems in everyone. Especially out of helplessness to take the initiative to ask the elderly to help, or to have a grateful heart, for non-principled issues, do not be too calculated, give the elderly more understanding and tolerance.
And the elderly, if you really want to help the child, do not interfere too much in the child's life, do what you should do, and you can also think about the problem from the perspective of the child, and do not let the younger generation be embarrassed.
If this can be done, who doesn't want the elderly to take care of it.
This article is original by "Guo Lifang Psychological Studio", welcome to pay attention to, like, comment, the article is not reprinted.