Worried about love becoming affectionate, my husband did this to reassure me

On the road to raising a baby, do you work with your teammates? How is it divided?

Let's listen to the story of Lilac Mother Planet's Bao Mama @ Fish Soup.

Married people say: Marriage is the graveyard of love.

People who have children say: Only when you have a baby do you know that you are married to a person or a ghost.

So, is it really so scary to get married and have children?

In fact, it is not, the terrible thing is not marriage and children itself, but the non-human beings they encounter.

I have been with June Dad for 5 years, from love to marriage, from two people to three people, from the passion of dry firewood to the care of the details of life, the "good night" before going to bed has not been less, and the intention of mutual confirmation has not changed.

In five years, he never took the initiative to hang up my phone, would take care of all the housework at home, would treat my parents more attentively than me, would remember to take the initiative to report the positioning to me when the party returned late, would keep my little preferences in mind, the flower gifts on the anniversary would not be less, and the surprises on the birthday would always be there.

We are husband and wife who support each other, lovers who still feel excited, parents who work hard to live, and children who know how to repay kindness.

I have something to say about how to get along as a new parent:

100% open communication

in order to truly understand each other

"Mental attrition", this is the most appropriate description for me. Someone else's unintentional sentence, I may think about it and figure out several meanings, the surface is not alarming, but in fact, the heart has been surging, and even a tsunami has occurred. But fortunately, with a sensitive mind, I met a teammate who was a big warm man.

When I first had a baby, I always fell into strong self-doubt, feeling that I was cold, feeling that I was deformed, and feeling that my value was gone.

In addition to taking the baby every day, June's father will find various topics to encourage me, and even if he goes to work, he will often call me, send messages, and share with me what he encounters at work. After work, he will take the initiative to accompany me out for a walk, let me see the beauty of life, take care of my feelings from trivial details, and let me know that having children is not a minus of a woman's charm, but a plus.

I was insecure, worried that love would turn into affection, and he cooperated with me, confirming with me countless times a day that his feelings for my loyalty were unwavering, no impatience, no perfunctory, and took me out of the lowest trough of that time.

Three consistent views

to go long

When it comes to parenting, June Dad and I agree that "natural" is the best. There are countless parents of Jackie Chan, but there are very few dragons and phoenixes among the real people. As parents, we provide a warm family atmosphere for children, leading by example to guide children to excellent qualities, as for how many grades, ranking before and after, how about extracurricular skills, support, but not mandatory.

In terms of being a child, never nibbling on the old, and paying wholeheartedly is a concept that we both agree with. Including the most difficult period of buying a house and renovating, we saved the money given by our parents in their names, without moving anything, and completely completed the construction of the small family by our own strength. When our parents raised us, it was already a kindness that was difficult to repay, so how could we bear to eat and wipe them clean?

Don't skimp on praise

Don't shirk your responsibilities

Marriage is a solid relationship formed by two people who are originally unrelated, out of the purest feelings. In this relationship, in addition to possessing each other, we should also share the responsibilities we face together.

June's father took care of all the housework at home from the beginning, but I would not stand idly by. Before having a child, when he cleans, I will move the table and chair next to him, and when he cooks, I will pick a dish next to him, there is really no work to do, just accompany him, and it is good to talk. When I have a baby, I will guide the baby to say "Daddy is awesome", "Applause Daddy", "Daddy cooks delicious".

With one more person involved, the boring chores seem to be easier.

With children, changing diapers and wearing clothes to make complementary food is June Dad's work, feeding supplementary food and reading picture books and telling stories is my job, men and women match, work is not tired, only a clear division of labor, can cooperate happily.

From another point of view, this is also beneficial to the cultivation of parent-child relationship, avoiding children who only kiss their mothers or only like their fathers.

Give each other a little space

Seek common ground while reserving differences, and stay tired for a long time

I don't smoke or play games, June's only hobby is football, and I fully support this.

Before I have a child, I will accompany him to the live ball game, even if I can't understand it, the enthusiasm I show is enough to make him happy.

After having a baby, there is a lot of energy and time to pay, the days are always hurried, chickens fly and dogs jump, June Dad's hobbies have also been greatly reduced, the possibility of watching the ball on the spot is basically zero, can only watch TV (in fact, TV is more than half a month or even a month to watch once). If I happen to have a ball game, I will take my child to another room to play with toys or read picture books. A rare time to relax, let him enjoy it.

Like before I got pregnant, I still like makeup, like new clothes, June Dad never interferes, when I put on makeup, he will take the initiative to take the baby and not disturb me, when I buy clothes, he will seriously give me advice instead of saying that I waste money.

It is not easy to take a baby, in the days when the chicken flies and the dog jumps, leave a little space for each other, while being a good child and parent, occasionally do it yourself, and when running for life, do not forget to add some sweetness to yourself.

Love is easy, marriage is not easy, may every heart be cherished.