Everyone wants to have a happy marriage, especially for remarried people, after all, they have experienced a failed marriage, want to enter the marriage again, the heart will be very entangled, they are afraid of loss, afraid of the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, but more worried about getting along with stepchildren, so remarried people are actually very difficult. Because there are so many unknowns they face, people who don't have the courage really dare not remarry.
Some people say that the happiness rate of marrying a man is 60%; the happiness rate of marrying a second-married man is 20%; the happiness rate is 10% when marrying a man with a daughter in the second marriage; and the happiness rate is 0% when marrying a man with a son in the second marriage. Whether this is right or wrong, the bittersweet and bittersweet of them, only those who have experienced it have the most say.
First, the remarried woman originally only wanted to find an old partner, but now she wants to divorce but can't leave
Mr. Shen, who lives in Tonglu, who is more than 50 years old this year, has a wife and a daughter, but he said that he has a difficult home, not only did his daughter drive him out of the house, his wife also proposed to divorce him, which made him both sad and sad, in order to save this marriage, Mr. Shen decided to ask for help.
It turned out that 10 years ago, Mr. Shen's ex-wife injured her body because of two miscarriages, and they did not have their own children, which has always been the regret of Shen's elder brother, and for this matter, the couple did not have less contradictions, and he divorced his wife. Later, he was introduced to Ms. Shen, who lives in Sandun, Hangzhou, and the two sides have experienced the misfortune of marriage and naturally have common topics, in order to have a companion for each other, the two came together.
However, before getting married, Ms. Shen confessed her thoughts to him, she had a house and a daughter, and she was unwilling to leave her home, these Mr. Shen had no objections, in order to be afraid of causing trouble in the future, she and Mr. Shen once agreed on three chapters:
First, I don't covet your money; second, I don't have children with you; third, I don't live with you. As soon as Brother Shen heard the promise, he fell in love with the woman's cheerfulness. Soon Mr. Shen moved to his wife's house and officially became a family.
Although Mr. Shen agreed to his wife's request, he still had his own selfish intentions. He thinks that husband and wife get along, and if the relationship is good, he wants his wife to give him a child, and he has never stopped thinking about it. Now when the two have a conflict, after The old matter of Brother Shen was mentioned again, Sister Shen regretted it directly: "What kind of marriage did someone in his 40s get married, and he was really dizzy at that time." Therefore, she was unwilling to give birth to a child for Big Brother Shen.
Now Sister Shen wants to divorce her husband, because she has gone to court twice, and the reason for her divorce is because her husband, Mr. Shen, has domestic violence, and she did not expect to be beaten by this man when she remarried, so that she did not want to live with him anymore.
Brother Shen couldn't help himself when he heard it, he said that it was because his wife once proposed to go to the Civil Affairs Bureau with him for divorce. As soon as he heard that, he felt a little uncomfortable, so he beat his wife. Ms. Shen said that this is not the key to the problem, and there are many contradictions between the two after marriage, mainly because of the difficulty of communicating with her husband.
Ms. Shen said frankly that although there are several sets of demolition and resettlement houses in the family, the income level is not rich, and she just wants to find a wife to live the second half of her life together, but her husband had promised her that all the money he earned would belong to her, and he also handed over the salary card and password to her management, but in the end she had not even seen the salary card, let alone the money. In order to ensure family life, she offered to let her husband pay a little food, but his husband was not happy to say to her: "You go and ask people to see who in the husband and wife is going to pay for food."
Sanmao once said: If love is not implemented in the real life of dressing, eating, sleeping, and counting money, it will not last long.
Married life is jointly operated by both husband and wife, if you do not plan to live a life, you will definitely let life be a chicken feather, as the pillar of the family, it is the duty of a man to earn money to support the family, and it is a responsibility to give his wife living expenses, so Mr. Shen's statement is indeed unacceptable.
But Mr. Shen said that after he and his wife remarried, the money for the family to build a house was done by him, and he also took 30,000 yuan when his daughter got married, although he did not have much money, he did everything he had to do, as a man and stepfather in the family, he also took on the responsibility and obligation of taking care of the family.
Second, after marriage, living in the woman's home, the husband always feels short
Ms. Shen said that money is a reason, and what makes her most intolerable is that the two of them quarrel and contradict her husband and her cold war, if she does not take the initiative to talk to her husband, his husband will not even talk to her for two or three months. She did not expect that she wanted to remarry to spend the second half of her life happily, but her husband's behavior made her feel that he was not like a man, and his heart and eyes were so small that he was not as good as a woman.
Someone said, "The greatest mistake in life is to escape." "Mr. Shen's choice to fight a cold war with his wife is actually an escape. Whether in love or in marriage, everyone has a thorn, and not wanting to prick others is actually protecting the timid self. That's why Mr. Shen will defend himself: "I can't say anything about her." That's why he and his wife had been in a cold war for three months.
Because he lives in his wife's house, and the same community is his wife's relatives and friends, Mr. Shen feels that his wife is always one head above him. He put on a slipper at home with some water under the slippers, and his wife would forcibly say to him, "That's not okay, you must wipe them off tonight."
In this family, his wife's words are orders, he can not have half a delay, sometimes he is slightly dissatisfied with his wife quarrels, the wife immediately called his brother to teach him, the brother-in-law did not say a word before he came forward to choke his throat and almost made him breathless. He felt really depressed in this home.
Listening to the descriptions of both sides, people feel that the personalities of the couple are quite different. Mr. Shen is indeed stupid, not much language, his wife Ms. Shen can speak well, strong personality, fast talk, and Mr. Shen's chronic son formed a sharp contrast, and because he is clumsy and stupid will not coax his wife to be happy, under the wife's language offensive can only be silenced, so he will protest with his wife cold war.
When the mediator asked Mr. Shen when the purpose of asking for help today was, he said that it was not a matter for his wife to drive him outside, and he always had to give him a place to live.
It turned out that the two of them had been separated for three months, and Mr. Shen himself rented a house outside. In order to avoid further aggravation of the contradiction, after the quarrel, the wife Ms. Shen moved out of the daughter's house, originally wanted both sides to calm down, but the husband's next behavior made the originally not serious quarrel suddenly escalate.
Three or ten years of marriage came to an end, and the husband was a little unwilling
Ms. Shen took out her mobile phone to let everyone see a photo, and it turned out that Mr. Shen had smashed the lock on the door of his daughter's house.
Mr. Shen is also angry, he believes that he has the right to live. The mediator asked him, "This house belongs to my daughter, so why do you have the right to live in it?" ”
He said with a straight face: "I've been living there for more than a decade". He said that he was kicked out of the door by his daughter, the first time he did not knock but kicked a few times, the second time he stayed by the stairs for a night, really angry before smashing the lock. Her daughter was so annoyed that since her mother didn't live there anymore, she threw Mr. Shen out of the house.
Mr. Shen said that although he did not make much money, he used it all at home, and now he has no one to rely on, no children and no daughters, so he is not willing to leave him.
Mr. Shen's determination to divorce is very firm, in his opinion, this period of time is too much, only hope to be liberated as soon as possible, but when it comes to the conditions of liberation, Mr. Shen is not so free. He believes that since his wife wants to divorce him, she must compensate him. The starting price of this is 500,000, at least give him a place to live.
Ms. Shen said bluntly that she would not give a penny, she had raised her husband for 10 years, which family was raised by her wife for ten years.
Just saying, Sister Shen's daughter also rushed over, she admitted that when she got married, Mr. Shen had given her 30,000 yuan, but this was a voluntary gift from Mr. Shen, and she was not obliged to return the money to him, but after all, her mother and his husband and wife, she was willing to return the 30,000 yuan to Mr. Shen, but the premise was that Mr. Shen had to divorce her mother.
Speaking of the house where her mother lived, she admitted that Mr. Shen only contributed but did not pay for it. At the beginning, the house decoration money was renovated by them with the family's relocation money, and Mr. Shen only contributed at that time, and they also gave him food and drink during Mr. Shen's contribution.
Hearing his stepdaughter say this, it strengthened Mr. Shen's determination to divorce, and the mediator advised him to solve the house by himself first, and everything was subject to the court's judgment.
Sentiment Analysis:
Seeing such a result, netizens have talked about it, some people say that men drink soft rice; some people say that women cross the river and tear down bridges, and when they are finished, they will pick people up. In any case, the two have indeed come to an end in this ten-year marriage, and if the man is not compensated a little, it is indeed a little impersonal. The analysis is as follows:
1, the daughter's words are too desperate
In marriage, no matter how much money a man earns, as long as he pays for the family, it is a contribution. Mr. Shen also admitted that he did not earn much money, he had no children and no daughters, he spent all his money at home, and now he was swept out of the house, which was really infuriating.
When his daughter got married, he took out 30,000, as a stepfather, which is not a small amount, indicating that he sincerely wants to live with his wife, and also to prevent old age in the future. The family spent money to build a house, and he also contributed money. The daughter said that the stepfather gave 30,000 as a gift, and she was not obliged to return it.
It was a joke to hear, if it weren't for her mother, who would give you 30,000 yuan for nothing when you got married. He also said that when he was renovating, his stepfather only contributed, and they also gave him food and drink, and the words he said were even more desperate, completely treating Mr. Shen as a free laborer. This is the stepfather, not even the housekeeper nanny. The nanny also paid a monthly salary, but Mr. Shen not only contributed money, but the other party did not even have a word of thanks. No wonder some netizens say she is a white-eyed wolf.
2. Who raises whom for 10 years?
And Ms. Shen is also too unkind to speak, she said that she has raised her husband for 10 years, who raises whom? 10 years ago, her husband entered this family, her daughter only went to middle school, these 10 years, the daughter went to school and married and started a family, didn't he raise her daughter with you? You can say that he is not very capable, but he has no merit and hard work for this family, and his daughter marries to give money and build a house, is there no cost to these explicit and invisible payments? If you completely erase his hard work and do not give a penny, it is indeed a bit excessive.
3. The wife did not abide by the agreement
Moreover, in the three chapters of her covenant law, the first article she said that she would not covet his money, but both words and actions were contempt and rejection of Mr. Shen. Mr. Shen can suddenly take out 30,000 yuan to marry his daughter, which is very angry, but she ignores her husband's dedication to the family. To put it bluntly, it is to look down on the husband's door-to-door son-in-law.
It can be seen that the biggest sadness of the door-to-door son-in-law is that no matter how much you pay, you will not be recognized, and in the face of his wife's strength, he has been living a depressed and undignified life. The conflict between husband and wife should be resolved internally, but Ms. Shen called her brother to beat Mr. Shen, which is extremely disrespectful to her husband.
If you really want to settle the account, it is not too much to give Mr. Shen a house. Because Of The Demolition of Ms. Shen's home, if it is divided according to the head, Mr. Shen should also have a compensation payment, he does not have a lion's mouth, just give himself a place to live, even if he does not give a room, take money to compensate I think his requirements are not excessive.
If you were Mr. Shen, would you file a claim for compensation from your wife? Welcome to leave a message to discuss!