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The song "Father" has such a lyric: It is said that raising children is to prevent old age, but the mountains and rivers are far away from home. Most children are like this, when they are young, they feel that staying with their parents is the safest, when they grow up, they know the beauty of the outside world, and they begin to go outside with joy, even if the parents let them come back, they are not willing to wait until they really understand their parents' hardships, and they are willing to come back to their parents to know that the original parents are old, not as good as the original.
Nowadays, many families have a boy and a girl, and basically girls are older. Therefore, the mother will spoil her son, and invisibly give her daughter a feeling that she should also be good for her brother, and anything good should be given to her brother, even if she does not have it, she must be good to her brother.
Such behavior is fundamentally unfair to the girl, compared to her is also a child, everything must be considered for the sake of parents, for the sake of brothers, completely lost themselves, then what to do after marriage? Will it not affect the marriage?
It is Xudong who shares the story today.
Before marriage, he bought a bride price for his brother
Xudong has a particularly good sister, in Xudong's memory, what he did from childhood to adulthood is his sister letting himself, in addition to his parents' love for Xudong, xudong feels that he is a flower in the greenhouse. In fact, for Xudong, he never felt that everything his sister gave him should be, and even if his mother always nagged his sister, Xudong would "seek justice" for his sister, but all this was useless, because in the eyes of his parents, his sister should pay for Xudong.
Later, the two children grew up, the sister went out to work early, Xudong was still in school, and the mother said to the sister: "When you go out, don't always think about going out to fall in love or something, I can tell you, your brother still has a lot of dowry money for this marriage?" If you don't give your brother money back, you won't come back in the future. "The sister didn't say anything when she heard this, and when she went to work, she was also frugal, and she was afraid of delaying her brother's marriage."
Later, Xudong's sister found a good other half, ready to take it back to her mother to see, thinking of what her mother said at the beginning, she went back with her own savings, and when she got home, her mother heard that her daughter was going to get married, and immediately slapped her daughter and said: "I told you that you will save money for your brother before you get married, why do you want to get married now?" I see, you haven't made much money when you go out, but you have a lot of thoughts, you don't think about it. ”
Xudong's sister immediately said: "I must have taken the money when I came back, this card contains the money I have saved in the past few years, and I don't know how much, so I think you can watch and do it yourself, no matter what, we are going to get married." After saying that, the girl was going to leave, and Xudong pulled her sister and said, "I don't want your money, you can take it." The mother gave it back to Xudong and said, "You know a fart, people just give it to you." After that, Xudong's sister got married, but no family was present. This was also the first time that Xudong felt very guilty about his sister.
After marriage, the mother's family constantly disturbed
Although the mother's family did not come when they got married, but after marriage, the mother did not know where to find the sister's address, one day Xudong's sister came back from work and saw her mother at the door of the house, she thought that her mother came to visit herself at home, and the mother said to her: "Give me fifty thousand yuan, your father is sick, the money in the family is for your brother to get married, can't move, you give me money." The sister did not understand her mother's approach, she asked: "No, my brother is now a serious college graduate, certainly not all rely on you, why don't you want to see my father?" ”
The mother said in a nonchalant manner: "What do you care about people, I and your father have worked hard to raise you, and now let you spend some money on us, don't you want to?" "The sister has no choice but to withdraw cash to the mother, that is, on this day, the feelings of the sister and the brother-in-law have cracks, and the brother-in-law does not understand that there is no dowry at the beginning, so why do you still have to pay for it in the family now?
Later, Xudong's mother often came to the door to ask for money, tens of thousands of yuan when there were more, and thousands less, if the daughter did not give a penny, she would come to the house to get something. Later, Xudong's father died, his mother was unwilling to spend a penny, and his sister could only use her own money to bury her father, and from then on, her sister decided not to spend a penny on her mother again. The mother also knew her daughter's thoughts, and she felt that she was old and ready to let her daughter give her pension.
At the same time, the sister's family was making a lot of noise because of the burial of her father. The brother-in-law said: "People burying your father is originally a matter of sons, and you see that your father is not very good to you, so why do you rush to clean up the aftermath for others?" The sister felt that the brother-in-law said too much, so she was ready to file for divorce and go back to her mother's house for a few days, but when the sister said that the divorce was over, the other party said: "It should have been divorced a long time ago, you don't tell me that I also want to talk to you, since the divorce we are clear, in the past few years, you have taken a lot of money for your mother, this is not to say, when you got married, you did not give me a dowry, these years are also living in my family, if I want to say divorce, you should be mentally derailed." "There is no way that Xu Dong's sister is out of the house."
The son takes on family responsibilities
The sister who came out of the house did not know what she should do, so she called her brother to talk about the whole process, and the younger brother also knew his mistakes, if it were not for himself in the past few years, his sister's life would be very happy. The younger brother said, "Blame me, if you don't have me, your life will be much better than it is now, or you will come to live with me." ”
Later, the sister defected to her brother, and Xudong did not know how to tell his mother about this. Just this day, the mother called Xudong and said: "Son, you have also reached the age, you should fall in love, so that your parents' money is all for you, and the pension will go to your sister's house." Good thing she is my daughter will certainly not give me a pension, you can rest assured, today I will go to your sister's house, see the attitude of the two of them, if not, I will make trouble. XuDong couldn't bear it at all when he listened to his mother's words, Xudong said: "Mom, you are enough, my sister has been married for several years, you have nothing to do and go to people's homes, are you so good?" Some time ago, my sister was cleansed out of the house, you don't know it. The mother stopped talking.
Xu Dong continued, "It is because of your and my selfishness that my sister has become like this now, don't you have a trace of guilt?" I'm embarrassed, let's stop thinking about it, I'm trying to earn money to support you, can't I? I hope you're all well enough, and we won't think about these things anymore. His mother stopped talking, and Xudong felt that he should take on this part of the responsibility, so he took his mother and sister to live together.
The mother is also very distressed to see her daughter like this, although the daughter once did not understand what the mother did this for, but now the family is well together, so it is enough, the daughter does not have that kind of hateful thought in her mother's heart. Although Xudong later married, he did not give up his obligation to take care of his mother and sister.
From the story, we can see that Xudong's approach is right, because Xudong will have a good result in their family, and many times we always feel that since the two people are together, they should bear everything, in fact, it is like this, whether it is family affection or love, because only a good family is fundamental.
It may be true that there is a preference for sons and daughters in the concept of many people, but it is also necessary to divide the situation, and men and women are equal in today's society, whether it is boys or girls, it is good for this society and the family. It is even said that girls have become a more popular group, and many parents think that their daughters are small cotton jackets and should be cherished.
Therefore, I hope that young people now do not regard the gender of men and women as too important, and may say that you are the best to cultivate well. On the contrary, you always distinguish between people who are not good. Girls will never be the dowry of boys, everyone must take a good look at their own position, and being an independent woman in the new era is the best direction.
Today's topic: If you were Xudong, what would you do?
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Author Nannan, focus on the field of emotions to create and share, with emotions to communicate with you and my soul, but I hope you and I know each other here, like please pay attention to me.