"Your brother has no money to buy a house, first let your in-laws support 200,000", daughter: I am divorced, poverty alleviation is over

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"The Courage to Be Hated": "Life is not given by others, but by oneself, and it is one's own choice to live one's own life." ”

Growing up, we were often told "it should be this way" and "shouldn't be that way", with rules everywhere and frameworks everywhere.

From a positive point of view, there is no rule and no square circle, and freedom within the scope of the rule is the real freedom; but on the contrary, if a person is always bound by rules large and small, reasonable and unreasonable rules are obeyed, there is no freedom at all.

When they grow up, many people will find that many of the rules they were indoctrinated in their growth were wrong, unreasonable, and should not be followed, otherwise they would only limit their freedom and make them lose the right to choose how they lived.

But some parents don't think so, they have their own set of logic, that no matter how old their children are, they must act according to their own requirements, so that some people are already married and are still being restrained by their parents. Such parents often ruin their children's marriages.

The following reader's marriage was ruined by her parents, let's take a look at what happened.

Hello Mr. Donglin:

To this day, I still don't understand why my parents ruined my marriage. I'm divorced, is it really the result they want?

My friend told me, "Don't think about it, you should be such a parent in this world, don't take your daughter's happiness seriously, and you just happen to have such a parent." ”

Although I could accept reality by thinking this way, I still felt uneasy because they had failed me, and I never thought that I would be planted in the hands of my parents.

Growing up, I always obeyed them, and I felt that as long as I was an obedient baby, they would definitely be good to me.

The love they gave me before I got married really satisfied me. But since getting married, since learning I was married to a rich man, they've changed.

I don't know if they are the ones who see the money and the money makes them lose themselves, I just know that after marrying a rich man, I am not happy.

I thought I would be happy, because I often heard people say that marrying a rich person would be happy, and my parents told me this, and I listened to it too much, which led me to identify with this fact myself. But what I didn't know was that there are prerequisites for this kind of marriage to be happy.

My marriage did not meet the conditions for happiness, because my parents saw money and they regarded me as a cash cow and a tool for them to calculate their in-laws. Even though my wife and mother-in-law are very good to me, who can always tolerate the woman's family asking for money? Who wants to help the poor all the time?

But my parents never paid any attention to my in-laws' feelings, let alone my feelings, they didn't know how uncomfortable it was for me to be caught in the middle. On the one hand, my parents, I don't want to disappoint them; on the other hand, my in-laws, I don't want to disappoint them, I really can't think of a foolproof solution.

I could clearly feel that my in-laws' attitude towards me had slowly changed, and although they might know that it was not my fault, my parents did not live with them at all, and they could only be angry with me. And I can only look down at their faces, because I am wrong.

I told my parents not to let me take money from my in-laws anymore, and my in-laws already had opinions. But they didn't care, and my mother even said in no uncertain terms: "What do you care about them?" If you marry a rich man, your mother's family must follow the light, which is a matter of course. You can't think about them, but you should think more about your mother's family, after all, your mother's family is your real home. Speaking of this, I suddenly remembered one thing, your brother is ready to get married, but there is no money to buy a marriage house, you first let your in-laws support it, first ask for 200,000, not enough to ask for it. ”

My husband's patience has not yet reached its limit, and he has been holding back not to lose his temper with me. However, my mother-in-law's patience had reached its limit, and when she heard my request, she directly turned her face and immediately ordered my husband to divorce me: "What has your family done to our family?" Cash Cow? How can there be people like you? Other people's money is not blown by the wind, how is it to calculate it repeatedly? Think our family is a good bully, right? ”

I was speechless, nor did I dare to refuse a divorce, so I could only leave it to them.

I didn't dare to tell my parents that I was divorced, and with what I knew about them, they would tear me up. I hid, looking for a suitable opportunity to talk to them.

The opportunity came quickly, and my mother asked me to ask my in-laws for money, and she would not let go easily.

I told her I was divorced, that poverty alleviation was over, that it was all over. Sure enough, I got a scolding, and she told me to hurry home and make things clear, but I didn't dare to go back.

Don't they feel that their actions are unreasonable at all? Don't you feel that I was divorced because of them? It was the first time I realized that I shouldn't listen to them, and that if I were left to make up my own hands, it couldn't have been such a tragic end.

Donglin Xiting Emotional Advice:

It was clear that there was an ingrained "framework" in the woman's heart that her parents had instilled in her as she grew up. It was difficult for her to get rid of this frame until nothing had completely stung her, because her parents attached a lock to this frame: "If you dare not listen to us, it is a great rebellion!" ”

It can be seen from the last time she asked her in-laws for money, although she realized that her marriage was crumbling, she still obeyed the orders of her parents and asked for money from her in-laws.

For someone like her, divorce is not a bad thing, at least it can sting her numb nerves, make her dare to break free of the shackles of her parents tied to her soul, and from now on, live her own life according to her own choices.

Even if other people do not have her experience, even if your parents are different from her parents, you should reflect on your own cognition, reflect on the concepts instilled in you by your parents, and see if there is any unreasonable content in it, and whether your heart is shackled.

If there is no problem, of course, it is a good thing; if there is a problem, you should break free of the shackles in time, modify and adjust your cognition and concept in time, the part that you should be responsible for, and take back your own dominance, so as to ensure that in your future life, you will not be planted because of the problems of inherent concepts.