Lead
: Every woman expects to be loved by the man she loves. Ask what kind of woman a man loves the most? Most men's answer is a good wife and mother. They often say that as long as the other party can take care of themselves, filial piety and good in-laws are the best. So is this really the case?
Three middle-aged ladies confessed that men do not want good wives and mothers.
Men just lip service, and if you believe it's the end of it.
What the hell is going on? Let's hear what they have to say.
Ms. Yang, 31 years old
My husband and I have been married for 8 years. I went from being a pure and bright girl to a scruffy middle-aged woman. I don't dare look in the mirror every day. Because I was afraid to see the extra fine lines on my face. I was afraid to see myself too haggard. I have to take care of the children every day and do a lot of housework. I was so tired that I couldn't stand up straight. I didn't have the time or mood to dress up at all. My husband said he felt cheated.
He remembered how beautiful I used to look. I also remember that I wasn't as clingy as I am now. I said yes, I was deceived too. You used to say let me take care of the family and be a full-time wife. No matter what I become, you will love me. I used to have a job of my own.
But after I gave birth to my second child, I had more things to do. The in-laws are not in good health and cannot help. My husband also felt that the family needed my care. He was busy doing work every day and had time to take care of the family. His favorite is the good wife and mother who gives for the family. I was naïve enough to believe it. So I was single-minded in taking care of the family. In all the years since I married him, I have never bought myself any decent clothes. I buy him the best suit and dress and shoes for my child.
But my clothes and shoes were all bought from Pinduoduo. And I rarely add new ones. I get up very early every day to make breakfast for my family. Even in winter, I get up on time. Then busy in the kitchen in pajamas. The children feed and change diapers, and I do all the cooking and housework at home. My husband didn't help with a little bit. He said that he was responsible for supporting his family, and I would just be a good wife and mother.
I gave my all for this family, even if I was a little depressed, I lost sleep. I don't dare say that I am regulating myself. But recently my husband told me I didn't love anymore. He fell in love with the new young and beautiful female colleague in the department. That female colleague was as beautiful as I was when I was younger. She didn't contribute a bit to my husband. But my husband fell in love with her.
Ms. Wang, 35 years old
When my husband was in love, he said that he liked the most obedient women. It's best if he says whatever he says. Don't die. He was particularly busy and didn't have time to make women happy. I also found that it was true that every time I came up with a different idea, he was particularly angry. So I would subconsciously listen to him on a lot of things. I'd rather be aggrieved than obedient to make him happy. He praised me for being obedient and sensible, and liked me like this.
Then, together, we entered the temple of marriage. After marriage, I still have to listen to him everything. He decides which school his child goes to and what kind of education he receives. He decided what I would wear and how I would talk. He decided what meals I would make. But where I have a little idea of my own. He would immediately refute me. He said I was average looking and had a bad family. Why am I so righteous? I lost my temper in an instant, and I was obedient to him.
I lived more and more aggrieved and humble. The children advised me not to make myself unhappy like this. But I didn't dare to be myself. I am afraid of being myself, and I will no longer be the good wife and mother. I'm afraid of losing my husband's love for me. Sadly, my obedience and understanding did not keep his heart. He told me not to always call, always check the post, always urge him to go home for dinner.
It turned out to be to find new love. I asked him why? He said I was too obedient and made him feel very tired. He felt that everything was not interesting. I don't even have my own taste. I walked around him all day.
I was in so much pain that I washed my face with tears every day. It turns out that men do not like good wives and mothers. What they like are women who live out their own lives. Of all the people I've lost, I miss myself the most.
epilogue
In fact, every man thinks that he likes a good wife and a good mother. Like the kind of women who are willing to give a lot for themselves and take care of their families. In fact, in my bones, I love the kind of women who live out of themselves and know how to love themselves. Too many women in China have a hard time understanding this truth. Virtuous wives and mothers trapped them like a shackle. They can't live their lives the way they want.
They seem to have lived for their husbands all their lives. But even then I don't get my husband's love. Because true love is produced when both parties are equal. Instead of one party having a very low profile, crazy for the other good arises in this case. Moreover, after being a good wife and mother for a long time, I will also feel depressed, and my heart will be full of negative energy. This negative energy can also easily infect those around you. A good wife and a good mother who give too much will be eager to reciprocate. This will put a lot of pressure on the other party.