Text: Zheng Shaoyuan wishes that my words can warm you
-01-
Teacher Tu Lei, an emotional expert, once described marriage like this:
In marriage, giving and taking are mutual, whether it is the wife or the husband, we must try to avoid being the so-called "slave" wife or husband, love and help each other, take care of each other, and care for each other in order to work together to grow old. Remember: "Ministry" marriages are meant to be short-lived marriages.
In fact, in a marriage relationship, the feelings of both husband and wife are rarely equal, everyone yearns for equal love, but unfortunately, everyone can meet, the balance in the relationship is often tilted, and more often women pay more.
Although they continue to emphasize independence, women are more concerned about their families than men, and naturally stem from the cultural influence of so many years.
Although you say that you do these things because you are willing, if your husband takes everything you do for granted and still can't accept it emotionally, you will still feel that your feelings are wrong.
In love, everyone has something to sacrifice and something to gain. In marriage, each person also plays their own unique role and bears the responsibilities they should bear. Mutual respect and mutual understanding can make a fledgling home full of warmth, but as long as the balance in the hearts of one of them is out of balance, even the family with the potential to achieve happiness will be scattered.
-02-
Some time ago, her friend Sun Ying announced in the circle of friends that she and her husband had divorced, ending a four-year marriage. As soon as the news came out, everyone around them was talking about it, and everyone was speculating about the reason for the divorce between the two people.
When Sun Ying came to me to talk to me, I knew what really happened, and I also knew that divorce was not a momentary impulse, but a thoughtful decision. And her story, which I wrote today, is to warn other women not to blindly pursue love and step into marriage at will, otherwise the only one who will suffer in the end can be yourself.
Sun Ying is just 30 years old this year, and her marriage with her ex-husband Hong Wen lasted only three years before ending. The reason why this marriage failed is entirely because of Hong Wen's own reasons, after he married Sun Ying, he was not only irresponsible in the marriage, but also forced Sun Ying to "help the poor" for his family.
Sun Ying endured for three years, and really could not continue to endure, so she chose to divorce him.
After the divorce, Sun Ying confessed: I once felt that my parents opposed me marrying Hong Wen as an old stubborn and unreasonable. Now after experiencing so many things, I understand that my parents are very right about marriage, and it is really difficult to be happy in a marriage that is not the right door.
-03-
Sun Ying and Hong Wen met through the introduction of friends, Sun Ying's family is well-off, her parents have done some small business in the local area, and they are very fond of Sun Ying, so Sun Ying's personality is somewhat willful and brutal.
Sun Ying did not go to college, she did not like to go to school the most, so her parents did not care about her, after graduating from high school, she has been at home with a group of friends all day long. Her parents indulged her, and they were busy doing business on weekdays and didn't care about her, as long as she didn't poke LouZi, her parents didn't care about anything.
Hong Wen is the second eldest in the family, and he has an older sister above him. But Hongwen's family is relatively poor, and he has been a farmer for generations. My parents didn't have much vision, so they had to work hard to cultivate the land and give Hong Wen out.
From the beginning of Hong Wen's understanding, he was taught by his parents that only by studying well could he change the fate of the family. Under the education of his parents, Hong Wen was also very angry.
Since junior high school, he has been what other parents call "someone else's child." Not only is he sensible, but he also studies very well and never causes trouble for his parents. For this reason, Hong Wen was also jealous of many people.
Hong Wen has never been disturbed by the sounds of the outside world, from the time he can help the family work, he goes home every day after school to help his parents, try to reduce the pressure of their parents' lives, so that their parents can work less.
-04-
But Hongwen's academic performance has never fallen, from junior high school to high school, he has always attended the local key school. Academic performance has also been among the best. After the end of the college entrance examination, he was admitted to the first school in the province.
After graduating from college, Hong Wen chose to stay in the city, he found a job, and wanted to work hard to get rid of the "farm gate" on his own, but after a few years, he found that it was too difficult to put down roots in the city on his own. Because his family couldn't help him at all. Not only that, but most of the money he earns every month has to be called to his parents to pay off debts and live.
Phoenix male Hong Wen knows the weakness of women, wants to take down women, in fact, can use the lowest cost, for example, details, when it is cold, a warm baby waiting at the door of the company when it rains, many women do not love the boy this person, just enjoy the boy's sense of ceremony and details. So as long as the sense of ritual and detail of the girls is satisfied, their vanity and the feeling of being pursued, no matter how much the woman who is not moved, will be shaken
Men must really and truly plan the people they like in the future, rather than drawing a big pie with affection.
Phoenix men are very easy to confuse people, most of the phoenix men have to be educated, the work is very good, the appearance is also more outstanding, because they have hard work, self-motivated and diligent heart, in fact, most of them will think that the phoenix man is very good, but in fact, it is not, after the tempering of time, only to know the pattern of a man.
Looking at the essence through reality, under the gorgeous appearance, there is a selfish and extremely inferior heart.
-05-
From the outside, Hong Wen is indeed a good man. Because of this, Sun Ying will fall hopelessly in love with him. And after talking to him for more than a year, I have to marry him dead or alive.
When the two people got married, Hong Wen could not afford to buy a house and could not afford to give a bride price. But Sun Ying didn't care about these things, she felt that Hong Wen could just be good to herself. The marriage room of the two people is Sun Ying's parents who are reluctant to let their daughter suffer and marry a set.
Newly married, Sun Ying is full of confidence in the future, and she feels that as long as the two people work together, they will definitely live a prosperous life. Hong Wen also said that he would work hard to make money and let Sun Ying live a good life.
But life after marriage is not as beautiful as Sun Ying imagined, because Hong Wen has never had a heart with Sun Ying, and most of his heart is placed on the original family.
After marriage, Hong Wen has been secretly subsidizing his parents, and most of his salary has been paid to his parents. For his own small family, he almost ignores it, and all the expenses and things in the family are responsible for Sun Ying alone.
Because of this incident, Sun Ying said him many times, but he did not listen at all, and Sun Ying became more and more disappointed in him.
-06-
Some time ago, Hongwen's mother suddenly fell ill and went to the hospital for examination, the doctor suggested surgery, but the cost of surgery was relatively expensive, and Hongwen did not have any savings in his hands over the years, and Sun Ying had been raising a family and had no money. The next two people were embarrassed.
Sun Ying felt that Hong Wen still had brothers and sisters, and when his father was sick, they should also take money, so why did Hong Wen pay for it alone. But Hong Wen did not agree to let his brothers and sisters take the money, and said that he was the eldest son, and the money had to be paid by himself.
But he had no money in his hands and could only borrow money. But he refused to borrow it, and even hit The idea on Sun Ying's parents.
He felt that since Sun Ying was married to himself and was an only child, her family's money would belong to him sooner or later, so now that her mother had surgery, her parents-in-law should take the money. Thinking of this, Hong Wen asked Sun Ying to go home and ask for money.
He actually wanted to "suck" Sun Ying dry, and he forced Sun Ying to return to her mother's house and asked her to let her father-in-law sell the house to save his mother.
Of course, Sun Ying did not agree, the two people quarreled, and finally Hong Wen directly gave Sun Ying a slap, and also shouted: Your parents will divorce if they don't sell their houses!
Sun Ying didn't expect Hong Wen to beat her, she was chilled in an instant, and she roared hysterically: This day is over, I want to divorce you! After saying that, she went back to her mother's house.
-07-
Sun Ying's mother was also angry when she knew the ins and outs of the matter, and immediately agreed to divorce Sun Ying and him, and hired a lawyer to draft a divorce agreement.
During this period, the mother took it upon herself to introduce a blind date to Sun Ying. This man and Sun Ying are junior high school classmates, and have always secretly liked Sun Ying, and Sun Ying can also be regarded as a door-to-door match. The two people contacted several times, and Sun Ying felt that men were good to themselves, not like Hong Wen, so she agreed to be with him, and was ready to marry Him after divorcing Hong Wen.
More than a month had passed, and Hong Wen couldn't hold back, so he went to the door to find Sun Ying. But he found that Sun Ying and other men were very affectionate with each other, and what greeted him was a divorce agreement.
Hong Wen knelt on the ground and begged Sun Ying's forgiveness, but Sun Ying was already heartbroken by him. Resolutely divorced him and kicked him out of his house.
Without Sun Ying, Hong Wen became a phoenix man with nothing again.
Women should understand that there is never an innate such thing, do not be easily kidnapped and killed, marriage is equal, even if he is his own husband, he can not easily touch your bottom line and feel that it does not matter, this person does not care about you in the end, let alone drag mud and water, divorce when it is time to divorce.
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