The truth of the near Zhu is red, and the near ink is black, and this truth applies not only in friendship, but also in gender relations.
What kind of person we will marry is actually predestined from the beginning, and whose wife we will become and whose husband we will become is a matter of fate.
It's just that marriage is sometimes like a lottery, the probability of good and bad is mixed, the key lies in how we choose, and how to operate after choosing.
Some people, even if they have the most intimate husband and wife relationship in the world, but they are only in a relationship, in fact, two people are not as close as ordinary friends.
In the relationship between the sexes, no matter how good the love relationship is, there are no these 4 feelings, they are only "superficial couples".
There is no need for deliberately suppressed comfort
Sometimes, in order to attract the person we like, or to maintain a relationship, we have to make ourselves rely on the way the other person likes.
At this time, we may be funny and humorous, or we may be dignified and gentle, but no matter what the characteristics are, they will not really belong to us.
In order not to let a relationship break up, we have to disguise ourselves, but in the end we forget what we are.
And this is not a marriage that suits us, nor should it be something we have.
Bi Shumin once said a sentence that is very agreeable: "Our lives do not exist because they are liked by others." ”
A good marriage is like a spring breeze, after we are married to a person, we can be the truest self as we want, rather than deliberately pretending.
A good marriage is a long stream, and we can experience that kind of inner comfort and sense of ease in the process of accompanying each other.
Because of this kind of love, it can go on for a long time.
There is no need for a sense of trust
All our lives, we hope that we can find a soul mate, and we don't have to worry about the appearance of others anymore.
Because we know that the other party is worthy of our trust, no matter who appears, we are extremely firm in the other party's determination to go down with the other party.
So, what does it feel like to have a soul mate?
Novelist Jandy Nelson said: "Meeting a soul mate is like walking into a house where you once lived, and if you fall into darkness in that house, you can still walk around freely." ”
Because we are incomparably familiar, we never have a sense of insecurity in our hearts.
If we meet a "superficial couple", we will find that there is no essential difference between marriage and not getting married, but on the basis of being single, there is one more person who integrates into our lives.
This person never cares about our feelings, and we don't feel any sense of solidity and trust from the other person.
Such a marriage will only bring us negative emotional values, and will not give us the happiness we want.
There is no need for a sense of belonging that is displaced
The Yingge in the TV series "Hua Xuyin" was originally a female killer, who learned to disguise herself with strength from a young age.
For a long time, she didn't know what home meant, and she didn't know what kind of experience the warmth of home was, until she met Wang.
This man was angry with Yingge, too strong and independent, even if he was injured, he did not say a word, he hoped that Yingge could use himself as a dependency, cry when he wanted to cry, and laugh when he wanted to laugh.
Since then, the song of the warbler, which has been turbulent and displaced, finally has a belonging.
In fact, a good marriage is like this.
Host Yang Lan said: "The best marriage is the joint efforts of two people, continuous progress, continuous improvement of themselves, and once again attract each other." ”
In this mutual attraction again and again, couples understand that each other is the only person in the world who fits in with them.
You say, how can such a husband and wife relationship not be beautiful?
There is no need for hysterical calm
Quarrels seem to be a sword-rattling thing, but if we study them carefully, we will find that quarrels are actually an indirect manifestation of the contradictions in each other's feelings.
However, some couples handled the quarrel peacefully, and some couples were red-faced, treating each other as enemies, and laying a thorn in their feelings.
Yi Shu once wrote: "Be quiet, come and go quietly, work hard quietly, and harvest quietly." ”
This is true of being human, and so should it be of dealing with love.
Contradiction is inevitable, after all, there are no two people in this world who are born to be completely compatible.
Most of those beautiful couple relationships can show a result after experiencing a run-in, and perhaps, how many times they want to divorce, but they tolerate each other.
Most of the couples who can go to the end understand that life is always going to return to peace, so they will guard the blossoms.