I have wine and tea, and if you have a story, come to me.
Click "Follow" above, and you are my person.
The Red and the Black:
There is a grave in everyone's heart that is used to bury those they love.
”
I feel that the "loved one" and "love" in this sentence are not only love at the level of love, but also other love that has emotional participation, including friendship and affection.
Love that cannot be loved needs to be buried; love born of love needs to be buried; love that has not yet sprouted in the bud and has to die needs to be buried.
For example, some girls realize from a young age that they are not loved by their parents, or because of the existence of their brothers and brothers and fall out of favor, the father's love and mother's love they expect are easy to die. They constantly suppress their inner expectations of love, disappointed again and again in hope, and when they no longer expect it, they are buried in the inner grave
。
There is a problem with this between the reader and her parents below, so let's take a look at it.
Hello Mr. Donglin:
My mother said that my daughter will never be filial to her daughter-in-law.
This sentence hurt me deeply, and I wanted to reconcile with her after marriage, not to pursue the mistake of her once only loving my brother and not loving me, but it turned out to be in vain.
At a very young age, I realized that my brother and I had different positions in her heart, not that I had to compare, but that the gap was too obvious.
What I want, I always get is reprimanded, and what my brother wants, he can get what he wants. Especially when my brother appeared in front of me, it was equivalent to exposing my scars, and whenever I was angry and took away his toys, I would be criticized by my parents for being too ignorant as an older sister
Until I got married, similar problems filled my life. After getting married, I left the house to get rid of that pain for a while.
One day my mother came uninvited to stay at our house, and I thought she wanted to make up for what she owed me, so I had the idea of reconciling with her. As a result, she said things like "a daughter is never as good as a daughter-in-law", she did not come to reconcile with me at all, but showed in front of me how good her son and daughter-in-law were to her, which was equivalent to once again believing that I was ignorant of being a daughter.
I said that since you think I am not as filial as your daughter-in-law, and since you think that you have been wronged by living in my house, then go to your precious daughter-in-law's house, my family does not welcome a person who does not know what to do.
She began to talk to me about the conditions, as if this was the real purpose of her visit: "First, from now on, you are not allowed to go back to your mother's house, I do not recognize you as a daughter, if you dare to go back, I dare to drive you out; second, don't think about any of your mother's family property, all the family property is your brother and wife, if you are not kind, don't blame me for being unjust!" ”
I gladly accepted these two conditions because they meant nothing to me. I didn't want to go back to that house, and I wouldn't go when the eight caravans asked me to go back; as for the family property, I didn't get any benefits from growing up, and they decided very early on to leave all the family property to their sons
After she left, my heart was in a mess, after all, we are mother and daughter, although there is no feeling, but a family relationship is broken, it is inevitable that it will repeatedly hit my nerves.
But this thought did not last long, and when I thought of my mother saying that I did not have her son and daughter-in-law filial piety, I laughed.
If she had given me enough love as I was growing up, if she had paid for and bought me a house when I was married, if she had done her best to help after I got married, I would have been ten thousand times stronger than her son and daughter-in-law
。 If you don't give me anything, let me be good to her, and still hit me everywhere, deny me, how can I still have the heart to be good to her? I don't want to be a dog with a wagging tail!
Donglin Xiting Emotional Advice:
Under normal circumstances, for married women, the mother's family is always the backing and the way back. However, not all families are families in the conventional sense.
The woman's mother's family is not a regular family, perhaps in the eyes of her parents, it is not wrong to only pay attention to the son, anyway, the daughter will marry sooner or later, but this cannot get the approval of the daughter.
Not to mention a big living person, even if it is a cat and a dog, not being treated well by the owner will leave a psychological shadow.
The psychological shadow formed by the daughter from childhood to adulthood, as well as the lack of love, will make her draw a clear line with the original family. Maybe she thought that the woman had the same idea of reconciliation, but when she found that she still had no place in the hearts of her parents, she would be completely cold.
For them, there is nothing worth reflecting on about the original family, because they are a passive victim in the process of growing up, watching their parents eccentric, but unable to do anything.
What should really be reflected on is their parents, who are not good to their daughters, and also ask their daughters to be grateful, which is a kind of demand and calculation out of thin air. Loving and being loved are conditional, and people who have not been loved by you will not love you