1, just changed a new number, I called my wife to flirt: Honey, what are you doing? Wife: Who are you? Me: Honey, we've all seen each other the night before, how's that?

1, just changed a new number, I called my wife to flirt: Honey, what are you doing? Wife: Who are you? Me: Honey, we all met the night before, how come we don't remember me so quickly? Wife: What night is it?

2. Colleagues are promoted to managers, and they invite me to dinner after work. After a few words of conversation during the meal, she suddenly poked her finger into her eyes! I was surprised, and then she covered her eyes and lay on the table in pain: Oh, I'm dying! I asked her: Why do you want to barrel your own eyes? She said: I forgot that I was wearing contact lenses today, I just lowered my head, and subconsciously wanted to help my glasses!

3. Our department manager just turned 40 this year, the opposite sex is very good, and he is often followed by two sweet-looking little followers. The two small followers think that they have a bit of posture, and often fool the manager for various reasons: Oba, please eat a hot pot, Oba, we want to drink milk tea. Today, they started again: Oba, invite us to eat Haidilao after work, okay? Just happened to be the boss passing by, he asked his colleague with a puzzled face: Isn't it just to rub your meal, why is 'Dad' called?

4, I was code program, the female boss asked me: do you men lose interest immediately after chasing the girl!! I was a little curious and asked what was going on. It turned out that after he moved in with his boyfriend, he felt that his boyfriend didn't care about her at all, and he felt that his attitude towards her was far worse than before. Me: That's nothing!! When you go digging wild vegetables, do you have to carefully see if it can be eaten when digging, carefully dig it down and put it into the basket, but after putting it in the basket, do you still take it out at any time to see?

5. Today, the parents of the Little Red Sisters are not at home, so the timid sister and sister sleep in the same bed. Mosquitoes are infested at night. Sister said: Sister, you see, so many mosquitoes. Xiaohong said: Turn off the lights, the mosquitoes can't see us, and then the sister really turned off the lights and suddenly a pair of fireflies flew in, the sister was very scared to get close to the sister, the sister was very nervous and said: What about the sister, we are miserable, you see the mosquitoes carrying lanterns to find us?

6, buddy wife is on a business trip, buddy immediately shouted that a few of us buddies are going to the hotel to drink. The buddies asked for 10 boxes of Moutai and we were all drunk. When I came home from a drink in the evening, I saw a picture of my ex-girlfriend on my phone, so I called her and talked for a long time. When I woke up in the morning and looked at my phone, the call log was 3 seconds, and there was a text message: I don't cook porridge for you anymore, and when I wake up, I go out to drink some porridge. Instant tears...

7. Yesterday, the teacher assigned an essay to his son and classmates called "My Grandfather". When writing homework, my son opened the essay and saw an essay called "My Sister". So, he changed all the sisters inside to grandpa. The next day, the teacher invited his father-in-law to the classroom and read his composition in class: "I have a lovely grandfather, he wears two pigtails and wears a jade skirt, very beautiful ..."

8. My husband bought a house in the Pearl River Villa, but we quarreled over the decoration issue. At this time, my girlfriend came to play with me, and my husband also went out on the Internet in a huff. We were eating watermelon and talking at home, and I said to my girlfriend: You cut it open and leave a piece for your husband. The girlfriend came and said: What to leave for him, even if it is fed to the dog, it will not be given to him. Then my girlfriend and I ate the melon clean with a spoon. In hindsight, the more I think about it, the more wrong it becomes!

9. Just after class, the Chinese teacher walked in, after a while of good teachers. The teacher smiled and said, "Today we are going to learn idioms, please use the same sentence, who will try." After a moment of silence, a male classmate stood up: "Today's weather is very good, I was walking in the park, I met a beautiful sister, I said, sister, about?" My sister smiled and said to me, don't ask out children. The mentor smiled at Mimi and said, "You go outside and go for a walk!" ”

10. Last week, when the old man went to the hospital for physical examination and was not at home, he stole the Qi Baishi calligraphy paintings that he had treasured for many years and bought more than 16 million. I took the money and immediately went to the Parallel Import Car Dealership in Tianjin Port to pick up a Range Rover administration. In order to celebrate the new car, last night I called out to my buddies to go to Quanjude for dinner. Just then, the buddies suddenly came to a phone call, saying that they were in a hurry to go home. I asked: How to say go away, things are in a hurry? Dude: My mother-in-law is coming, she has the keys to my house, I have to go home and clean up! Me: Your house is very clean, do you still need to clean it up? Dude: My mother-in-law is too diligent and likes to clean, and I am afraid that the hidden private money will be discovered! I:......

11. The results of this exam are not bad, and it is estimated that it is inevitable to be beaten up when I go home. Sure enough, my father beat me up hard with a stick, and afterwards my mother wrapped me around me and asked: Does it hurt? I cried and said: It hurts! Mom asked again: Do you hate your father? I said: Don't hate! The old mother sighed: Hey, the daughter is kissing her father, so hit you, you don't hate him. I said calmly: Why should I hate him? If it wasn't for Mom, you just shouted, call me! Dad wouldn't hit me at all...

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #