1. My sister-in-law's bed was broken, my wife was just bad at this time, my eldest sister-in-law came to my house to sleep, and said that the two people only slept together, and did not do anything else. Every night I was in a hurry like a monkey, and at night I watched TV together. The eldest sister-in-law sighed. This Tang monk was also too ignorant of evil. The king of the daughter country is so beautiful. He actually left her so cruelly. The eldest sister-in-law said disapprovingly. If I were a Tang monk. I stayed in my daughter's country. Talk to the king of the daughter country every day and make love. Romantic. Then give birth to a bunch of small children. Anyway, there are so many beautiful women in the daughter country, and some people take care of children.
2. I have been married to The School Flower for five years, and the relationship between the husband and wife has always been very good. Drinking with your buddies last night, the brother couldn't help but ask, "Why are you two so good in your relationship?" Me: "Let me tell you this, we are both people who have experienced life and death together!" Brother: "Really fake?" Me: "Of course it's true, we had several fights, and we almost ended up together!" ”
3. Yesterday I took a big bag to my girlfriend's house to meet my parents, but her parents did not say anything about my arrival! During the meal, I carefully said to my girlfriend's mother, "Auntie, I am actually making up money to buy a house." The aunt was immediately unhappy: "What room is not a room, do you think our family is so snobbish?" Don't marry without a house? "I was so touched, I was just about to speak! My aunt turned to me again: "Don't worry too much, we won't marry if you have a house." ”
4. The scholar went to the tavern and asked, "I heard that the walker beat the tiger after drinking your wine." The treasurer: "Yes, there is such a thing!" Shusheng daxi said, "How many bowls did he drink before he beat the tiger?" The treasurer replied, "18 bowls!" Shusheng nodded, "Give me 18 bowls!" The treasurer: "Do you want to fight the tiger too?" But there is no tiger on Jingyang Gang for you to fight! Shusheng: "There are no tigers in Jingyanggang, but I have them at home!" ”
5． My daughter-in-law transferred 30,000 yuan behind my back to her ex-husband, saying that she had lent him a car. After I knew it, I got angry and divorced my daughter-in-law directly, and then planned to marry her girlfriend. On my wedding day, I took my best man to the hotel to pick up my wife. After arriving, the wife's girlfriends shouted for red envelopes in the room. I wiped my pockets: "Oops, the red envelope has landed at home!" "There was no way, I had to intercede in every way, but after half a day of begging, I still didn't open the door." Just when I was overwhelmed, a groomsman took the hotel card out of his pocket and opened the door!
6. Because I am afraid that my future child will inherit my single eyelid, I have not wanted a child. In the end, I was unexpectedly pregnant, and my husband encouraged me to give birth to this child. Now my daughter is 5 years old and yesterday I took her to the hospital for a vaccination. The daughter said innocently, "Mom, what are we going to do?" Me: "Of course it's an injection." Daughter: "Why do you want to get a needle, what did the needle do wrong?" Doesn't the needle hurt? After 5 minutes, my daughter began to cry: "This is a needle hitting me, this is a needle hitting me..."
7. The wife's wisdom is infinite. After the weekend meal, the daughter-in-law took a shower in advance. I walked over to the mirror and saw that it was full of fog. When my wife finished washing her hair, she said let me witness the truth. So I stood there and kept chanting: Magic Mirror, Magic Mirror Who is the most beautiful person in the world? Then she blew the hair dryer in the mirror, and in a few moments her face appeared on the mirror. I was stunned, this magic mirror is a blind man, right?
8. Yesterday, a brother of mine came to my house to borrow money from me, and my wife was very angry, so she found a reason to shirk it. When I went out the next day, my buddy called again, and my buddy asked: Where are you? I said, "I'm making money to my relatives!" The phone was then snatched away by the wife. The buddy hurriedly said: Just right, first lend me some urgent use, which bank you are in, I will go to you. The wife said calmly: In the grave of the old family, do you want to come?
9. My cousin has autism, can't cook, and wants to find a daughter-in-law who can cook. Before marriage, when my cousin went on a blind date, he asked: Do you cook? F: Cooking, ancestral. After marriage, cousin: You said ancestral cooking, I haven't seen it in so many days of marriage, wife, when will I try your craft?? The woman slaps and rolls... My cousin was confused: Hit me, and tell me to roll, what does this mean?? F: Every time my dad doesn't cook, my mom is like this, and my mom passes it on to me like this. Cousin: It turns out that this is ancestral!!
10. After graduating from college, I have no contact with the original goddess. Today she suddenly called me: "Is it okay to be my boyfriend?" I said, "Good! Then I heard her laugh and say, "We're playing Truth or Dare, I chose Adventure!" I said very calmly: "Again, I chose the truth." "#Funny Scene of the Year ##一人一句冷笑话 #
![His wedding actually invited Wang Lihong, Pan Weibai, Chen Jianzhou, Peng Yuyan as a groomsman, do you know him?[fig]](data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAP///wAAACwAAAAAAQABAAACAkQBADs=)